Do you know what I find absolutely hilarious? When people quit Gaia. Yes, you heard correctly. That's actually a thing, and when certain people on this site do it, they like to make a big production out of it. First they'll update their status to something like "quitting gaia...can't take dis no mo" or "goodbye my friends....i need to get back to real life"
LOL. Aren't those the most ridiculous things you've ever read? Well, most people here are known for being melodramatic. The next thing they do is even more ridiculous. They'll strip their avatar right down to it's underwear. *sigh* We get it, okay. You're quitting so you don't end up a bitter cat woman, that doesn't mean I need to see your indecent avatar, okay? OK.
The next step is perhaps the most strangest ritual done by quitters who want that last bit of attention before they leave Gaia....forever. They will meet in one of the designated flash spaces available on this...site (e.g.Rally, Hollywood, zOMG, or Towns) and they will proceed to dress in absurd fashions in order to take their "goodbye....forever" pictures. I never really saw the point in that because when the other person looks at those pictures long after the quitter is gone, won't they be sad that they'll never be able to talk to the would-have-been cat woman? I guess that's a hardship many have to face while being on Gaia Online.
Alright, quitters. I'll take a break from you and move onto a more interesting topic.
The quitter's friends.
Now, these people come in various flavors and I shall tell you about each one.
Up first in this long article of depravity: The beggar.
The beggar is a typical type of creature who will jump at the chance of free items or free gold because, hey? This b***h is quitting so she OBVIOUSLY doesn't need her items! Oh, what if she comes back? She's ain't comin' back! But if she does, I DON'T CARE. THEY'RE MY ITEMS NOW BECAUSE YOU GAVE THEM TO ME, OKAY?! NO TAKE BACKS.
Next up is an even more common type: Miss "I don't give a ********"
iLUVJustinBIEBER: Hey, Atraxi....I'm quitting.
iLUVJustinBIEBER: Well, I...um, I just wanted to say that I'll miss you and I wanted to know if you would like to come and
HipsterEsqueGurl2247: I'll stop you there. I know exactly what you're going to say...and the answer is no.
iLUVJustinBIEBER: What?! I thought you were my friend, but now you don't even want to participate in my GOODBYE PARTY?! Just know that I am INCREDIBLY RICH AND NOW YOU CAN'T GET AN ITEM FROM ME!!!
HipsterEsqueGurl2247: So...? I don't give a s**t because: A): We have never met. B): You were always annoying as ********, but kind of nice so I put up with you anyway. and C): This is ******** stupid, if you're gonna quit just ******** quit and stop trying so hard for some ********' attention, Lindsay Lohan. I'm gonna go listen to Florence + the machine. ******** b***h.
HipsterEsqueGurl2247 has signed off
iLUVJustinBIEBER: WOW ******** YOU TOO....b***h.
Based on a true story.
Next up is the ever decreasing rarity known as the Nicety. Now, the Nicety is very polite, elegant, and regal. She even says "lol" and "ttyl" with dignity and class. So you're quitting, right? No problem! She'll drop by for that photoshoot, she'll decline any free items because she's above all of that. Hell, she'll even give you an item you'll never get to use!!! Because that is how the logic of the Nicety works.
It's ******** up. THIS PERSON IS ******** UP AND RETARDED, OKAY? THERE. I SAID IT.
Now we have to most pathetic excuse to mankind: Mr. "give it to me PLZ i just got hacked "
(Note: somewhat similar to the beggar but on an entirely different level) Yes, that crying face does represent the crying button in flash games because they WILL abuse it if you don't comply with their deplorable demands. Now, these people are chameleons. They'll befriend you if they know they can get something out of you in the end, they'll be there for everything - every story, laugh, or hardship but when it's time for you to eventually quit (because I mean, come on. Would you really still be on this site when you're 32? If you answered yes to that question, then I highly suggest you seek medical attention AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. Seriously, stop reading this article and GET HELP) they'll attend your funeral......I mean, your goodbye party and participate in the festivities BUT, when it's time for you to make that oh so essential "final poof", this man will stop you and begin to tell you what a good friend you've been and how he will miss you. Don't believe anything this skank-whore tells you. This is all lies. What he's really fishing for is an item, and he's more desperate than Courtney Stodden at the Jewish Retirement Home. After he finishes fluffing your ego, he'll go for the kill. This, my dear reader, is where he begins his sob story. This can go in many, many directions. One possibility could be the "i got hacked angle" most commonly used by rally bitches, the town hackers, or the zOMG desperados. You're probably wondering what to do with them.....well, I have the answer, naturally. Have some fun with them! They're so desperate that they'll do practically ANYTHING for your gold/items!
Wow, if you've read this far, then I really admire you. If not, ******** you.
Ah, at last. The final frontier of this b*****d article. Our last type is perhaps, the rarest of them all. So rare, in fact only one is known to exist. Don't know who this is? Are you sure? Well, if you don't by now, then you're a ******** idiot who needs to stop sniffing the chalkboard. It's me.
And people like me write articles about you and all of the ******** stupid s**t that you pull on this site. (-: