Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals


View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal
BB's 'Hidden' Journal
My online record of mostly rantings and complaints.
I'm going to try to write a bit more. I'll fail. But I'll try.
Anyways, today has been frustrating as hell. All day I've had this....feeling. Again. Like if it wasn't for my force of will, I would throw stuff or tear someone/thing to pieces. Not entirely sure why. Besides from second hand bitchiness from mum when I woke up, nothing bad has happened. Granted 'rents left....but still. There's no reason for it. -sigh- way too much bad energy in this house.....

A random thought.....I want to cut my hair again. Normally I wouldn't cut it for another year, but it's pissing me off. Which usually ends in it being cut off. Lol just realized besides from a single school pic from second grade, I don't have pics of my hair being short. Lol might change that wink another reason I want to cut my hair is I want to die it again. Also the reason I'm thinking of waiting. Normally I don't die all my hair. Only a couple streaks or the last like 6 inches so when I decide to cut my hair I can donate it. But this time I had highlights put in. They're 4inches out now(bout ring finger distance) so I was thinking of dieing the lower part and letting it grow out more so I can just cut off all the died part and start again. And righting that out, I realize that'd serve no purpose. Cuz i'd still wanna die it. No way I'll go.....2 1/2yrs without die so it can grow 15 damn inches. Pah. No. It's settled. When it comes summer time, I'm cutting my hair. Lol probably like I did back in England. I've been cutting similar....hmm. I dunno. I'll think on that.
Yeah no bitching today! Lol.

And i'm inthe shower, so sorry bitching begins.
Ok so my life sucks for 2 really basic and simple reasons.
1: i'm confused and oblivious. And totally helpless/hopeless due to it.
2: as much as I wish it weren't true, I really, reeally, reeally need people. Whether I like them or not, doesn't matter.

Ok reason that's a problem is I have people issues. (if you watch star trek, I got a great reference) I mean like phobia grade issues.
I've gotten better at biting it back after that damn humiliation but it's still there. I still come off a cold b***h 'cuz I'm trying to keep my hands from shaking or bolting ourlt of the room. And I know I come off a cold b***h. I was told it.
You know if I could one thing, ONE thing, from that trial, it'd be my answer to the question 'would you do it again'. I said yes. I'd still say yes, but it'd be more like 'yes i would do it again. I would glady step in to defend a friend no matter who it was, or the consequences for doing so.'

'cuz you know no one touches my friends. Lol long list of people I really don't like. Including my mother. And i know i say that a lot, but until she said my friends were stupid, unreal, and i shouldn't ever talk to them again, i just couldn't wait to move out and away. Now....NOW i hate her. No one hurts them...no one. Not even her. Had she not been my mother I would've hit her.
Lol. I really don't put myself high on the priority list. I hate her more for that than anything and everything she's done for me....

(btw, sorry some of these are so long. When i type on notepad, well a lot more gets written)

Community Member
  • [06/23/13 10:06am]
  • [06/20/13 09:32am]
  • [06/09/13 06:50pm]
  • [06/07/13 05:11pm]
  • [07/01/12 05:26am]
  • [06/26/12 07:01pm]
  • [06/21/12 07:03pm]
  • [06/19/12 06:39pm]
  • [06/15/12 04:48am]
  • [06/15/12 01:41am]

    Manage Your Items
    Other Stuff
    Get GCash
    Get Items
    More Items
    Where Everyone Hangs Out
    Other Community Areas
    Virtual Spaces
    Fun Stuff
    Gaia's Games
    Play with GCash
    Play with Platinum

    Customize your own avatar now!

    Join Now

    Have an account? Login Now!