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~Moment's repose
The thoughts, ideals and words of one alone in the sanctum of his mind. IC things.
Just to say farewell
“S’been a long... long time since I last walked ere, ain’t it...? Almost... almost to de point dat I feel like a stranger ere, enterin someplace just... forgotten and abandoned. But dat ain’t right, is it? S’been... how long? Forty... fifty years since I last set foot in dis place...? I can’t... I can’t even remember now it were just too long.

But... dat just makes me feel as though I should worry. De fact dat enough time has passed dat I could forget... forget anyting aboutchu, about dis place... s’at de heart of everyting you and I... had, I guess? Me memories are all ere... dis place... s’where me life practically began, where I first... truly... began livin.

Haha... listen t’me though mon... talkin t’meself. Talkin t’you like you can ‘ear me even though... heh, it ain’t important. I just. Just wish you could look at me now.

I’m... grown, Rofvannon. Somewhere in de course of an ‘undred years I... I lost me fear and I discovered just what... just what had brought me into dis world. And its strange, chu know? I ain’t... dere tings t’me dat should’ve never become but because I didn’t know any better, dey did. Haha, but dat ain’t what’s important. I... wish you could look at me. I wish I could show you me eyes. I wish I could bare me soul t’you and just ask... just ask whatchu see. Dere ain’t no fight left witin me body, no more strife between me heart and me nature. I want... I want t’say dat I’m at peace now but... but no. Dat. Dat would just... it’d be an outright lie.

Realizin what I am, discoverin what me wings and me heart could do t’gether... it only made me.... realize. Realize someting else. And I guess... I guess dat’s what brought me back ere after so... so long away. Even though... even though you ain't ere no more. Though dere noting left for me.

Rofvannon... you know I loved you wit all me heart. Wit all me body and every last part of me soul. Even if I might’ve betrayed dat, I... I just wish you knew I never... never stopped. All dese years, you... I can’t never forgetchu. And its... s’because of dat dat I know I’ll never... ever have de peace I long for. I see tings now dat I were too blind to in de past, tings dat I realize... could simply have been avoided if only I hadn’t... if only dis...

De love you gave me... gave me a reason t’live. It gave me soul... such purpose, such warmth. My wings... wanted t’carry me back ere so... so many times. Dis whole journey, all dis wanderin, all dis discoverin... s’shown me a lot of tings, but... noting ever... ever made me feel as though I belonged. Not de way you did. De springs... de Caldera... maybe I was just a child, just too foolish t’even realize... but... knowing you ain’t ere, s’just...cold. I can feel me body warmin, ja, but me heart... dere just ain’t no change in ere even though... even though de rest of me stirs wit warmth. Me chest... it only aches for de memories dat I lost. De memories dat be so bright and vivid now dat I’m ere again. But s’only a shadow of warmth... Rofvannon...

I’m so sorry. Wishes and if onlies ain’t gonna fix... what happened ere. What’s in de past is in de past... you... you helped me t’get trough dat when you held me... me heart just... sang when you... when you told me you loved me dat first night, my first night ere, in you arms. S’been a hundred years and I can’t ever forget dat. I can’t forget dem four years I spent in you warmth, in you care. Dey were brief, ja... because I were an idiot... but...

Truthfully? Dey were de happiest years of me life. And I tank you for dem. Always... always. You... you love, de memory of you, de strength you swore were within me... if it weren’t for all de care you showed me, all de love and gentleness you gave t’me I know... I know I wouldn’t be ere now. If you really dere somewhere... if... if you can hear me... I’m... I’m going t’keep livin. Livin to de best I can be, livin to de fullest extent of me bein.

I’m goin t’live for you, Rofvannon. Because s’you who gave me dis life. S’you who believed in me. Loved me. Showed me dat... I ain’t just a ting, a trophy t’be collected and hoarded. You gave me life importance and meanin, and I... I feel strong now because of dat. Every day witchu were precious, even though it were so distant... but I’ll live in de name of dem memories because... if I don’t hold on t’dem, who will?

I just wanted t’letchu know. I just wanted t’come back one more time and show you just... dis. Just everyting I’ve become. And t’letchu know dat... dat purpose I sought? It were you all along. I love you, Rofvannon. Wherever you are now I-

...Wait, what was dat noise?"





 
 
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