CB, I can't sleep.
yesterday (yeah... 12:30-something now am) was long. finished up badminton, went to the radio station where I learned to track and realized they play nothing but Christmas music from the day after Thanksgiving until the day after Christmas... gonk
then lunch, chill, class, lessons, band, supper, chill and decorate dorm door, lighting ceremony of a random big tree, chill, piano, gym, chill, and here we are. :]
broke my glasses going to class. I was in a rush, and I opened the door to leave and promptly ran into it. e.e took the glasses off and the lens was cracked all the way through on the right side. so i popped in my contacts and headed to class.
my face hurt the entire hour. xD
i'm optimistic, though, because this means that I can upgrade my (very chipped and old) frames and prescription.
downside: i already vowed to not spend any more money. *cries*
oh wells. I guess I have to think about that some more...
I can't sleep, CB.
the thought of Kenzie leaving is greeted with a huge bag of mixed emotions. (tonight she was working on the application)
(btw, she also had a date tonight. ^^ my first thought when her dater came to the room was to give him the whole schpeel like a parent would, but I resisted. xD)
on one hand, it's like having the carpet pulled out from under me.
doubly so with Lacey also leaving next semester.
it's like, everything I've unconsciously built my college experience on is LEAVING. no more giggles and stupid jokes and conversations, no more shared college experiences... no more fun roommate that I actually talk to. :/
but on the other hand, that's an awesome thing, because it is exactly what I've been wanting in some form or another (but not this extreme,,.). I cling to her, and i feel bad doing anything without including her. I'm sure she feels the same. so to get FREEDOM (ie something I've never really had since before junior high) and a second chance at EVERYTHING is completely amazing ^^
but what keeps me up, CB, is the price of that. I'm afraid. Afraid that everyone already has their groups set up, afraid that I won't fit in, afraid that I won't WANT to fit in. I'm an INTROVERT here, people.
please.
it takes a freaking LOT of work for me to get to know people. I am by nature not an outgoing person, and the people I happen to meet and come in constant contact with are few and far between. i'm so jealous, CB. Chris and Rebekah and their group, Megan and her group, Amanda and her group.....
why, CB?
something else that threw me for a loop tonight: Chris informed me that he is Kailee's cousin. I outright declared that to be a fallacy, but he insisted it was true, then said "good morning" as goodbye.
xDDD that part made my day~
THEY'RE FREAKING COUSINS. *shakes reader* yeah, this pretty much took everything I knew about the world and threw it out the window. it's an outright... it's outright INCONCEIVABLE. hot damn. *sideways frown and groan*
and the whole other person thing with the dream is done. not like it ever was in the first place, but yeah. spooky. irritating. i just really really really hope I don't play the wrong cards tomorrow. (err, today), because it's been said that I can be read like a book. and in this case, that's a very bad thing.
oh the plus of everything, I have next to no homework :] it's quite pleasant...
CB, I can't sleep.
this place feels like a hotel tonight.
i wanna go someplace, do something, but I can't.
it's 1 am, people.
freaking NOTHING to do.
except sleep.
and think.
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just watch me.
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