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so it seems my memories have come back from certain areas in my life. this pain i havent felt in a long time. the understanding of ceratin things but not much i havent tired it compeltly out on other people. but the lies and creating of a lie has began. the two have already had their affect on him.... idk if they are good affects or bad affects. probably neither. once again i have done something to change who someone was in a small way. everything i do has a down fall to it and this one my have just been that. but i was surpised when i heard those words that he dont tell anyone but i know what it was. i was the one who can see it. he may think i am just a friend but i understand i can see. my pain hurts me so but this pain keeps me going. the pain of loss the pain of happyness the pain of my past is surfacing. i didnt know that i had this much pain in my past so much its almost unbarable but i can get through it. where did all these lies come from.

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