I want to be perfectly clear with you.
When I said I missed you, I meant it.
But here's the thing - I don't need you any more. I never NEEDED you I think. I was just attatched to you. I let that attatchment outweigh my love for you, and so when you severed that connection, I felt not much else other than pain.
Yes. I miss you.
But I'm happy with out you. I'm gaining a confidence in myself that I lacked when you were around. I've gotten lucky in a few things. My job, my car, my friends, my family . . .
While you might cross my mind once a day, while I might find an ache in my heart where you once were - I don't need you. I can do fine with out you. I am happy. I am well. I'm getting my life together, and I plan on doing great things.
Part of me wishes you would have stuck around for this. That you would have applied to the School of Mines, and that you would have watched me as I grew from frightened child who repressed any negative emotion she felt, to a young woman ready to brave the world.
Part of me wonders if I would have gotten here with you by my side. . . I'd like to think that I would have.
All of me misses you.
All of me still loves you.
But that love changes day by day. It becomes more a memory with each passing moment. The intesity fades more and more. The phantom limbs of your love still cause my breath to catch from time to time; but no longer do I cry when I remember a kiss, or something you said. I no longer need to hide when Hey There Delilah begins to play. . . In fact, think of you most when I listen to Adele's Rolling in the Deep.
So. Don't get me wrong Daniel.
I miss you. But I don't need you.
I still care about you - But I gave up on loving you like I once I did a long, long time ago.
I still wish you would have stayed. But I'll never regret it.
I do miss you. I really, really do.
And I needed you to know this. I needed you to know that despite all the s**t I put myself through during those nine months of no communication, that despite the fact you cut me deeper than any one ever had - I never once regretted our love. I never once regretted that promise I made to wait. I never once hated you.
Yes. I needed you to know that I still care about you. That I still believe in you. That I truly think you could change the world for the better if you found a true cause to fight for. I think you're one of the sweetest people I've ever met. And despite all your flaws - You are amazing.
But once again, I can live with out you.
I can do well with out you.
I don't need to hear you say you love me in order to become a better person.
Manage Your Items