After a long time, it is story time again. My BJDs have made it into this one. Please enjoy.
Spore Meets World
Spore was sitting on the curb with his face in his hands, shuffling some bits of dirt with his sneaker, when I bird came to rest on his shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” asked the bird.
“Well my mom kicked me out,” Spore replied. “She said, ‘Spore, you are 21 and a college dropout. You have no job and no money. You are not contributing anything to this family. You will never amount to anything!’ and slammed the door in my face.”
The bird chirped.
“And now I am talking to a bird,” mumbled Spore, sighing. “I must really be losing it already.”
“Well, you should probably look for a job then,” the bird suggested. “That way you can make some money and show her that you’re not as useless as she thinks!”
“Great idea!” cried Spore, getting up suddenly and sending the shocked bird flying off. “I will get a job and show my mother that I am an adult!”
And with that, Spore began roaming the streets for any sign that some place was hiring. After walking for four hours in the hot sun, he finally found a Dollar Store with a sign in the window:
“Hiring: Apply Within”
Spore went up to the counter.
“Excuse me, I would like a job please,” he said, addressing the unenthusiastic clerk.
“Well, do you have a resume?” she asked.
“No,” Spore replied.
“Well, you can try filling out this application…” she said hesitantly. “We will call you if we decide on an interview.”
“I have no phone,” said Spore.
“Your address then?” the woman asked, clearly annoyed now.
“I don’t really live anywhere right now,” said Spore. “But I could wait outside for as long as you need me to.”
“Forget it,” said the clerk, and she ushered him back outside into the heat.
Spore didn’t have much luck at the next few places he went. For some reason, everywhere he went seemed to require a phone number or an address. The sun was low in the sky when Spore finally arrived at Wally-McD’s, a gigantic superstore that was also a fast food eatery. There was no sign indicating that they were hiring, but he went to the customer service desk to ask anyway.
“I want a job,” he said to the man.
“A full-time position?” the man asked simply.
“Why yes, that would do!” said Spore.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Well, yes,” said Spore.
“Just checking. Right this way then sir…”
Against her better judgment, ten-year-old Madison Blair was shopping at Wally-McD’s. She knew better than to waste her money at such a shoddy department store, but she only needed a few items and her sister had asked her to walk there for her. Maddy didn’t mind too much because she was interested in people watching and there were some sad and miserable things to see there. Speaking of which, at that moment, one was on its way over.
“Excuse me,” said Maddy to the young worker. “Where are the mouse traps?”
“Um… in the aisle with the brooms?” he replied absently.
“Just checking,” said Maddy.
The man turned to leave.
“Hey, wait,” Maddy called. “Are you okay? You look… how do I put this… gaunt and overworked?”
“I’m fine.” The man hesitated. “Okay! I am not fine! I am a mess!” he cried, slumping to the floor. All of the customers around him stopped to stare.
Maddy took his hand, pulled him up and led him to the empty hardware department.
“You need to relax… Spore” she said, glancing at his nametag. “What do you do in your spare time?”
Spore stared at her. “Spare time?”
“Yes, you know, your days off.”
“Well, I don’t have any days off, I work full-time,” he replied.
“Pardon me?” asked Maddy.
“I said I work full-time.”
“That doesn’t mean you don’t have ANY time off!” Maddy scoffed.
“Well, yes it does,” said Spore. “Here, I will even show you my schedule.”
Spore took a crumpled paper from his pocket and handed it to Madison. She smoothed it out and found Spore’s name. Beside his name it said FULL-TIME in all capitals, and under each day of the week, was clearly typed ‘12:00am-12:00pm’.
“See?” said Spore indignantly. “Full-time.”
“That’s not full-time, you dolt!” cried Madison. “That is an outrage! And illegal! Are you stupid?”
Spore started at her.
“How long have you been working like this?” she asked.
“Well, about two months now,” Spore replied.
Maddy’s eyes bulged. “Two months? You have been working for two months straight?! When do you sleep?”
“Well, I’m kind of sleeping right now,” Spore responded. “After a while I just trained by brain to shut down one area at a time. Shutting down some parts makes me perform weird but I shake them awake when the managers come around.”
Madison just stared.
“What?” asked Spore.
“Does everyone here work like this?” asked Maddy, clearly aghast.
“Dunno,” said Spore.
“What do you eat?”
“Nothing anymore. Used to be fast food everyday but it made me feel really bloated and I started throwing up everywhere so now I just drink lots of water.”
“You are going to die.”
“You’re coming home with me right now.”
And without another word, Madison dragged Spore out of the store and down three blocks to her house. Her sister Nora was in the kitchen when they got there.
“What the heck is that?” asked Nora when she laid her eyes on the smelly, sallow figure that was Spore.
“His name is Spore,” said Maddy. “He is a sad Wall-McD’s employee who just worked two months straight. Be nice to him, he is very stupid.”
Spore hung his head.
“Did you just say he worked for two months?” asked Nora.
“Yes,” said Maddy. “Please show him the shower so I can make him some food.”
“Did you get dish soap and laundry detergent like I asked?”
“I forgot,” said Maddy. “I was rescuing him.”
“Okay,” said Nora, and she led Spore upstairs.
Once Spore was clean and fed, he fell asleep for three days. When he woke up he told his story to the girls.
“I was kicked out of my house! I had nowhere to go!” Desperation was in Spore’s voice. “They offered me a job when no one else would and I took it. I had never had a job before. I didn’t know what it would be like!”
“Well, fine,” said Maddy, “so you are not too bright, but you probably earned a lot of cash in these last two months. So why don’t you just go back to your mother now and show her how well you’ve done. Then we can sue Wall-McD’s for even more. Sound good?”
“I’m scared,” said Spore.
“Too bad,” said Maddy. She made him eat a sandwich and then walked him back to his house, which was only two blocks away. With some coaxing, Spore rang the doorbell.
“Oh my goodness, is that my boy?!” Spore’s mother screamed when she opened the door. “I have been worried sick about you! I felt awful after I kicked you out but I had no way of contacting you and I figured you hated me after what I said! I am so glad to see you! You look… paler…”
“I am, mom,” Spore said, blushing.
“And who is this?” Spore’s mother asked, gesturing to Madison.
“My saviour,” said Spore, grinning.
Spore’s mother looked confused.
“I’d best be going now,” said Maddy.
As she turned to go she called to Spore. “Don’t worry about Wally’s, you don’t have to set foot in there again. I will settle everything for you.”
Spore nodded, not really comprehending. As he headed into the house with his mother, Madison could hear him saying, “You’ll never believe it mom, but I got a job!” Maddy grinned, but only for a moment, as she braced herself and marched on over to Wally-McD’s.
“Excuse me, sir,” she said to the man at the service desk. “May I see your manager?”
“Why, I am the manager,” he replied. “What do you need, little girl? Are you looking for a job, because all of our positions are filled.”
“No!” Maddy exclaimed, “I came here to tell you your employee, Spore, quits.”
“Well, in that case we do have an opening,” the manager said. “If you would just follow me…”
“I said I don’t want a job! Can’t you see that I’m only ten? And besides, you treat your employees like crap. I’ll have you know there is a lawsuit coming your way.”
“If you say so,” said the manager. “But I’ll have YOU know, no one has ever gotten money from us before, and they sure as heck won’t now.”
“We’ll see about that,” said Maddy, and she stormed out of the store.
Spore was living happily again with his mother, who had nursed him back to health, when he received a letter in the mail. It explained that Madison had represented him in court and had been the youngest and only person in the world to sue Wally-McD’s. Large amounts of cash would be filling his pockets shortly. Spore, of course, went to thank Maddy, who explained that it was just one small step for the next ruler of the world, and that Spore was only the first of many soon-to-be supporters, so he wasn’t that special anyway.
And they all lived happily ever after for once I guess.
· Sat Jul 23, 2011 @ 05:01am · 0 Comments