This is a story I wrote that is mostly based on the Vocaloid, kagamine Rin's song, Kokoro. It also includes some bits from other songs, so enjoy~ Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloid... crying
A rainbow in reverse, different, but just as beautiful as a normal rainbow, simply because it is, well, not normal. A normal rainbow brought feelings of joy, but to me, it always looked like a frown. It was like all those emotions that could be expressed directly, easy to see, easy to understand. But what if something is different? It is hard to understand, easy to give up on. It is like all those emotions of the human heart buried deep inside, all those that are forgotten, left alone and never discovered, never acted upon. It is like a reverse rainbow, different, beautiful, and like the happiness inside of a human heart. Perhaps it would have been better if I had not discovered those feelings.
I am a robot created by a scientist, in memory of his daughter who had died alongside her beloved in an explosion after they had finally been reunited. He told me that he had worked for a long time to create me, to make sure I was perfect. I was the exact image of his daughter. When I’d first woken up, the scientist had already given me a name. He said it meant “remembrance of a loved one”. That name was Halia. The scientist told me to call him “Father”, and to this day, I still remember him as so. At my creation, Father planted a small Magnolia Tree sprout that would grow as I continued to survive.
I was programmed to be able to read human emotions, but I always wondered why Father would work so hard on creating a program. He would work, day and night on the program, and yet to him, it was never really finished. Why did he work so hard? Why did he smile? Why did he cry? He spoke to me about joy, about sorrow, about friendship, about love. It was beyond my understanding, something that was not mine. What are emotions like, do you know? He told me that I would understand someday, but I do not, not yet.
One day, Father took me to meet a girl, hoping that I could perhaps, make friends. Her name was Claire. She was a young girl, about my age in appearance, with long, flowing blonde hair and bright, shining, and deep, green eyes. She seemed different from most other people I’d met, somehow. She would constantly smile like the sun, but I could read her inner emotions. She seemed to carry a great deal of this “pain”. Emotions were a normal part of a human heart, I knew what they were, but knowing what something is and actually experiencing it are two different things. Claire’s emotions were all real; both the pain she kept hidden, and the bright smile she would always show. I thought that made her heart more pure and beautiful than any other. Others, especially the adults would always utter false praises and think their true, nasty insults inside. They never even tried to understand me, they would only compliment me for the “miracle” I was. Claire was different. She tried to understand me, tried to help me feel emotions, but I could not. She would tear up, smile at me sadly at those times. Why? But, Claire was still one of the only people who could understand my nature, next to Father. They actually cared about me. But perhaps that was all in vain. The last words she spoke to me were, “Halia, I will no longer lie. Just remember: it doesn’t matter that you are a robot, you will always be my best friend.” With that, she cried the hardest she had in a long time, and I could see the pain be lifted from her heart.
Father’s life was not infinite; neither was Claire’s. Before Father died, he had managed to launch the program he worked so hard on. He told me not to launch it until I had been alive longer, until I understood what being alone meant. With his last breath, Father’s life ended. The reverse rainbows I knew had disappeared in the harsh, blinding sunlight.
It has been 126 years since then. My Magnolia tree has already grown to be much taller than the lab I live in. I am alone now. All those people I knew are long gone. It is different to live all alone, in isolation, much more different than living with Father and Claire, seeing their emotions and experiencing all those adventures. Because of those times, being left alone in this large, empty world is harsh.
A gust of wind blew through the windows, carrying with it a few Magnolia petals. I turn to see where they will land. My eyes land on the computer Father had used. I don’t know what is happening, but I’m slowly being drawn near the computer. Perhaps…it is time. My fingers lightly touch the screen. Suddenly, the entire computer lights up, revealing a screen that read: “Now Launching: Program Heart”. My eyes open up, and I can feel the tears flowing down my cheeks.
I understand now, Father. All the joys I know from memory. The happiness of living together, with beloved friends, with family. All the sadness…all the tears…A broken heart, the death of a loved one. Emotions are so painful. I know that now. I could begin to understand why Father had created me. It was such a shock to loose his daughter, and the pain he felt must have been immense! He was lonely, as I now know the pain of solitude. Emotions are stranger to me now than they were ever before. This is the program Father had spent his life working on. His last gift to me, the gift of a heart…and a soul.
I understand emotions even less now, Father! Why are they so painful? All the feelings from my past have welled up in me, threatening to burst. I don’t know what to do. I now know the pain Father and Claire must have felt, and the joy, and the love. All the fondness of my past memories.
I want to meet Father and Claire again! To actually experience those moments, to make strong bonds. In this world of Darkness, I want to find the Dawn.
My tears continue to drip down my cheeks. My heart is in such pain, it’s almost too much to bear. And yet, that brought me more happiness. The ability to feel pain, the ability to feel love. I want to re-experience all that now. I wish…I could be reborn.
I begin to sing. Singing for all the promises of the future, all the memories of the past. My heart was with my memories, dreaming, hoping. Singing for the hope. Singing for the grief. I hope it will reach you. I will wait in this dream. Until we are reunited. I will find you, even if it takes an eternity.
The miracle robot was able to gain a heart and feel emotion. Halia wanted to be with her loved ones. She continued to sing. But, the strain of the Program was too much for her body to handle. She short-circuited. The sun shone in behind her, Magnolia petals scattering. An iridescent rainbow stretched across the bright, clear blue skies. Her heart and soul had left her body, and her wish was granted. She was reincarnated, finally reunited with her beloved Father and best friend, Claire. Her body had stopped moving completely, frozen in time, with the gentle smile of an angel on her face.
“Thank you…”
The rainbow had gone in a full circle.
Ageha16 · Tue Jul 12, 2011 @ 12:44am · 0 Comments |