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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
The Letter Never Written
Dear Josh,

People have said that your passions in life and hobbies define you. This may be true to some respect, espeically for me. I got to thinking, which kind of music you would prefer. If I were to call you and ask, would you prefer funny or deep music? Even if it was sad, would you still think it was beautiful. And then I thought, y'know I'm kinda like that too.

I get lonely easily, even in my friendships. There are parts of me that are very sad but I can still see them as beautiful. Part of their beauty is that they are sad and memorable. They come to define me and mark a change.

In my music collection, I've probably favorited more of these kinds of songs than any other but it is a side of me and not the entirety. In my collection there are also funny songs and angry songs... songs that are fun and others that just, make you want to dance and scream until you fall into a heap on the floor. Ha ha.

And I love my music. I probably have more of it than I know what to do with, yet I still search for more. It's like my way to understand a little piece of the world. I don't always get the "hidden meaning" but I can find some meaning in it or appreciation and that's what matters to me.

My point was that I can be defined, in part, by my music collection. By printing out this list of my Top Rated songs I am letting you see part of me. Something that I hope will spark your interest. And I hope that you won't judge me negatively just because I have Dora the Explorer as one of my favorites or Hoobastank or NOFX songs that make... Ha ha, no sense. Together they work as a puzzle to show many things about me.

If you're not following my reasoning, allow me to explain with (true) examples... even the fact that I haven't rated or gone through my entire library mimics that I've still got a lot of growing up to do. I can become someone different and wild or crazy if I wanted to. I could shut out all happy songs and focus on the gloomy. But I haven't. I keep trying new things and even though I'm a little slow to get to all of them and rate them, I do give each of them a chance. I try to mix things up and end up downloading entire albums even though I may like one song, just in case I change in the future or find some hidden meaning later. I'm a bit of a collector in other things other than music as well, keys for example. And I do like making brash decisions that are risque at times, like shouting out Mindless Self Indulgence or Limp Bizkit as I walk to school.

And if in reading this list and trying some of the music, you find me more lovable than when you started then I am glad. And if you wonder why you would want to get to know someone like this, I am glad as well. For at least you know where you made a mistake and what you had been truly after. But I hope it is the former rather than the latter, for I want you to know me better. I want to find that under my rose colored shades, you are still that rose colored man that I am slowly becoming devoted to.

With Love,
Jennifer
xox





 
 
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