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“MY EYES ARE PUZZLE PIECES!!!”

“Oh my… not this again…”

“Be like, ‘b***h, PLEASE!’”

“Yunique… for the sake of what can be assumed innocent and just in the world… STOP trying to act like an African American in ‘the hood’…”

“… Ya no fun, Teme… Go to a stripper club or a brothel or somethin’…”

“And ingest the tainted energies of women who have no self respect? I do not think so.”

Yuni huffed and plopped onto a couch, having relinquished her odd footing on the ceiling above and fallen the short height to ground floor. Kai sighed airily and shook her head slightly and returned to the open tome in her lap, bottomless pits for eyes trying to concentrate on the hieroglyphics of the third line for the twentieth time. The Nekojin quickly became bored and started to fiddle with a gadget on the coffee table in front of her, nimble fingers adjusting little gears and a small mechanical apparatus. Silence. A sweet and almost rare thing to Kai, who didn’t dare comment on it or anything as she read her old book. The alabaster pale woman deciphered the page and its content before moving onto the next; sparing a vaguely curious glance to the busied girl she was in charge of safety-assurance.

… Now… WHERE is Yuni…?

Kai gave a very quiet groan and closed her book with a snap, putting it on the couch seat beside her as she stood and dusted a tuft of ash from her black turtleneck. The living room wasn’t a very big room, holding a couch and a recliner with a fireplace in the wall. All the windows were boarded up in this hideout; the building was an abandoned one in a human city. Gloved fingers ran through violet hair as Kai looked around at the two doors, one led to the kitchen while the other led to a hallway. There was a clutter of metal hitting metal in the kitchen, along with an upbeat yet somehow haunting tune being hummed. Yuni must be in there… baking… Kai could only imagine what, but she thought it best to check. The Nekojin had a knack of baking odd things.

“Twit?” Kai blinked slowly and found something that looked like a kitchen… under the chaos of scattered pans and pot and batter splattered everywhere. Was that a small collection of detonators?

“Oh hi there, Teme!” Yuni grinned brightly at the too-skinny woman from the tiled floor, covered in as much batter as the rest of the room was. She held a muffin pan and was sitting in front of an open oven.

Yuni would never use ovens though. They tended to explode… a lot.

“Need I ask what you are doing? Or should I find a new hideout now?”

“Mmm… I dun care watch ya do. Jus’ dun fire those guns in ‘ere, ne?”

Kai pinched the bridge of her nose and leaned her side against the doorjamb, closing her eyes for a second to avoid watching the black flames lick out from under the filled muffin pan. Why use human cooking appliances when you’re such a pyromaniac like Yuni? The woman opened her eyes to Yuni sitting on a counted on the other side of the room, gutting the fresh muffins and stuffing the small explosives into them before inserting a birthday candle to each fluffy top.

“Please tell me you did not overdose the black powder this time…” Kai sighed, but didn’t do anything but watch.

“Oh stuff it, Kai. If it blows, then it blows. I jus’ hope it blows in someone’s face.”

“Best not be mine, child…”

Yuni stuck her tongue out at Kai, orange feline ears swiveling with humor. “Oh you… Ya know the firecrackers always go down ya pants!”

Kai’s eyebrow twitched at the memory, gaining yet another reason to get one of her handguns out of their holster. “Do not remind me or you shall find a new hole in that empty head of yours…”

“Empty? Ya’ve been in my head and ya know it ain’t empty.”

“Empty in a different sense than that, Twit…”

“Oh… well… I could always use another eyeball. Ya know… so I can see from the back ‘o m’head ‘nd all?”

“Do not tempt me…”

“But it be so much fun!”

Kai reached a hand to her hip, where Serpentine Rebellion sat in waiting to be drawn for its trigger to be pulled. Yuni’s eyes narrowed as she pouted, cat ears flattening to her short slate hair. The girl continued her cupcake stuffing, adding a phony layer of icing to the tops of them when they’re set and stuffed.

“A’ight, a’ight. I said no gunfire in ‘ere. Why don’t’cha take ya prissy, literal, stony arse outta ‘ere and go kill somethin’?”

“I would if I did not fear for the well-being of the hideout…”

“Ehhh… Ya worry too much! I’mma big girl now! Ya should see the Pull-Ups I go through!” Yuni snickered at that joke, remembering the Pull-Up fiasco three weeks ago.
“…” Kai blinked her pitch black eyes and thought about the pros and cons on leaving Yuni alone to her devices, sighing quietly in defeat. “Fine. I shall return in an hour.”

“Take ya time~”

Shaking her head slowly, Kai turned and exited the kitchen to enter the living room again. Against her better judgment, the Angel of Deconstruction needed a snack and would probably end up leading a gang massacre in the city they were currently stationed in. Stupid humans and their unnecessary violence… Kai ghosted to the door and donned on her burgundy trench coat, making sure her guns and daggers were efficiently hidden on her person before leaving the hideout.

The city was busy even at this late hour, Kai watched as cars passed and turned the corners while the night walking humans skulked on the sidewalks and alleyways. Prey prey prey… The dark angel’s main diet was the humans, though she did enjoy a treat of pure angels or demons every now and then. Humans were like ripened fruit from the Tree of Life, waiting to be picked and bit into. Kai ghosted down the sidewalk with black eyes looking around analytically, having walked down three blocks before the feeling of foreboding ached through her hollow bones. Her Yuni-senses were tingling. Which was never a good thing.

It never failed either. The concrete under Kai’s combat boots shuddered for a second as a light flashed over the street. A rumble, a crash, a chaotic symphony of foundation and brick walls crumbling met everyone’s ears. The woman and some humans on the same block turned to look at the destruction that was once Kai and Yuni’s hideout. With a long sigh, the gunslinger looked at her wrist watch and checked the time like the explosion wasn’t a new thing to her. The humans gaped in shock, screamed, ran TOWARDS the site like curious idiots, or were on the cellular phone to call the police.

Five minutes. Kai had been gone for five minutes…

That was a new record.

“Uhh… oopsies, heh heh…” The Nekojin appeared in the shadows on the alley Kai stood in front off, smelling of burnt fur and hair and C4.

“Twit… you are grounded.”

“FUUUUUUUCK MY LIIIIIIIIIIIFE! WITHOUT PROTECTION!”

“I pity your life, as it is too likely you will get a sexually transmitted disease.”

“… I GET AIIIIIIIIIDS! TYPE TWOOOOOOO! STAGE FIIIIIIIIIVE! SUBSCRIPT AAAAAA!!!”

InsertepicKaifacepalmhere.