In one single year, I have lived my happiest. Held together with hopes and love and dreams, I was happy in a world made to destroy everything good. I would wake up every day, warmed by the embrace of the most wonderful person in the world. His smile and laugh always reminding me that life was good. He became the strength I lack on my own.
In one single year, I had been a bride and a princess. I was a servant and a confidant. The future was being written by two hands holding each other and weaving a tale of joy and happiness. Even the most impossible became reality from the creative power of love. Nothing beyond Us mattered.
In one single year, Anastasia Michiko McWherter lived. I lived an actual life for once in my entire existence. My heart pulsed to the beat of a song so pure that my past selves mattered not. That everything in life would not matter as long as He was there with me, telling me the truth of who I was to him. His words linger now, in my dusk hours.
At the end of that single year, I had experienced all the love and happiness of a whole lifetime. Time ran out, it would all be taken away. I experienced a lifetime of pain as He left me. I experienced a lifetime of guilt as his friends blamed me for his suffering. I experience a lifetime of penance as a fractured ghost of what I could have been.
As the year ends, I feel so little in this gaping hole that is in my chest. I can't feel anything but shadows and memories of what had been. My mornings are cold, snowed upon by reminders of my sins. The lack of his smile and laughter reminding me that the world no longer loves me, that I am cursed.
Oh, Draco.... even as your allies tore me apart and destroyed all that I am, I still loved you. Even as my allies drag and pull my strings to make me move on, I still love you. You gave me in a single year a whole life of happiness, something I may never again see as long as I exist. Even as I am reminded that you do not care what happens to me... that you hate me with all you have, I still love you.
I am a ghost of Anastasia Michiko McWherter. As her ghost, I am bound by the love of you to the memories of what we had. I am defeated and vanquished by the hands of the one I love most. Once my time here on Earth is done, I will not regret because you gave me a lifetime of happiness. I embrace the end knowing that I have done everything I needed to do in life.
You made me complete and the loss of you is an indication that I have finished my role here. Aishiteru wa, Kuroi-sama. Even as there is 'no next time', I'll go with a smile on my face.
Arigatou Draco Kuroi McWherter....
