. . . After seeing the movie that was exposed to my eyes today, hell has broken loose. The slick demons have sled though the strong grasp of God's mighty hands and have ran free. They got the hold to the strings that tie me up right. I can feel thier cracked, steaming hot, red hands pull on those strings, the strings of my heart. They tug and do all thier best to pull on it in fifty different directions.
He stood right at the double doors. My heart sunk. This was over. When he spoke his words, I didn't care. I just ran off knowing that there is no more of what used to be.
Seeing the bracelet being given back to me, I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to believe what was true. What was hanging in front of my face. The proof that it was game over.
In third period, I was being comforted by my friends. Or at least they tried to. Only they didn't know that in first period, I almost spilled tears seven times. Yes I counted. And actual tears fell down my cheeks twice. Though, I doubt that anyone saw. But they were saying,"Don't worry about it, the one you have now is HOT." Or "Don't think about it, you can find someone better."
I doubt it.
I doubt that anyone could match the way he embraced me.
I doubt that anyone could match the gentle strokes that he called art.
I doubt that anyone cloud love me more for who I am, not what I am or what I do like he did.
I doubt that anyone could beat his soft touch that traced my face in the moonlight.
In forth period, ugh. I talked to her. She said that he said there was no meaning the braclet amymore. And something about a letter also. But I never got that. But what got me the most. "No meaning," So the word love has no meaning to him anymore?
Because of that. I go one step closer to a freezing core. Now I feel nothing in the arms of the one who now calls me his. I feel no emotion. Did I ever? Yes, but none of love. My stomach flipped at his touch, not in some warm fuzzy feeling, never. I felt like I have gone behind his back, even though we weren't one. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever. What the hell is wrong with me? Nothing, I just love him.
I hold his, no, our braclet on my wrist. I may never take it off until God knows when. Cowrie shells are held at it's ends and the words Te Amo in the colors of blue and aqua.
I guess I'm not Velez-Rodriguez anymore . . .
I'm back to being Rodriguez - Barbosa . . . the thrill.
· Thu Oct 14, 2010 @ 03:46am · 1 Comments