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Bitter Congratulations, love. He better make you happy. Heh I know I could not. I am glad what I said did not bother you as much as it hurt me. It is nice to know you have something to look forward to.

Posted by: Madam Merlise Shnieder Tue Jun 15, 2010 @ 02:33am

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Kizutsukeru
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Commented on: Tue Jun 15, 2010 @ 03:40am


	I think it hurt him so much that he needed something to numb him from it. =/ I mean, he ended up crying for like 4 hours last night. Maybe he is so afraid you are going to hurt him again, like he hurt you so long ago, that he is closing up..... You don't knowed Neo as well as you dink Merlise

Commented on: Tue Jun 15, 2010 @ 03:51am


	I know...I am just being a b**h. I am crying...have been for the past few hours. I feel shitty. Really shitty. I am a terrible person sometimes...heh...I could not help what I said. I just broke down. I mean, when I found out about you, it really screwed me over. I could not even talk to you about what I was feeling without feeling guilty. I could not talk to anyone else about it though so it just built up and up until I broke. My heart could not take worrying about how he felt about me, always wondering if he meant what he said. Just...I dunno...even now, as I say this, I worry about hurting you...sigh* I do not want my feelings to hurt anyone else...

Madam Merlise Shnieder
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Kizutsukeru
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Commented on: Tue Jun 15, 2010 @ 04:43am


	You were never appose to find out about me because I learned to control myself when I needed to in order to be there for you because I was appose to be teh one dat never hurt you an was always there for you, but now that you know.......I feel further apart from you.....looks down You are not a bad person for feeling. You had every right to feel dat way. I jus wish dat you......teh peoples comments hurt me. I guess I didn't want to get wit Mr. Destrey cuz it would have made us too close an I sowwy to say, but.......I afraid of getting hurt again.....<-.->

Commented on: Tue Jun 15, 2010 @ 05:01am


	I did not mean for that forum to hurt you. In actuality, I was just looking for a shoulder to cry on. Even if I do have the right to feel, I had no right to say what I did. That forum was supposed to help me forgive myself, to help me forgive you, too. I just needed some advice. But the beautiful thing about advice is that I do not have to listen. smiles sadly I admit, I wanted to hurt you w that text. I wanted to know for sure that you were feeling some of the pain that I was. It was cruel of me, but no one ever wishes to be alone in their suffering and the month or so that I had been confused and felt like I was being jerked around or that you just felt sympathy for me or something really got to me. Especially after the whole medical scare..It was wrong of me to snap at you though and it is wrong of me to not trust anyone else, but you, but it is hard. You have done things for me that others have not and I just clung to that. It ended up just choking us both.

Madam Merlise Shnieder
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Kizutsukeru
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Commented on: Tue Jun 15, 2010 @ 05:10am


	._. Yeah, that forum made me cry, it really hurt. So much that, it hurt Kuma too....... Look, I don wanna fight anymore. I don wanna hurt or cry. I am here for you and yes, that text did hurt me. It hurt me so much it depressed my entire night. I love you Merlise, but I can't keep going like dis. I just wanna be friends. I jus wanna be there for you and help you along the way . I wasn't treating you like a child. I told my brother the same thing when he was alone and he is 22. He was so sure he was going to be alone forever and I told him "You are so young. You have another 50 years before you even should think about dying. You still have a lot of life left. Stop thinking you have it figured out." And now he has a fiance and they have an apartment together. Age wasn't what I meant. Youth is what I was talking about. Heh......you can decide what you want...I have done all I can. Right now, I'm just hurting, really bad like you.I don't know what else to say other than.....it's up to you.

Commented on: Tue Jun 15, 2010 @ 05:19am


	That is all I wanted. I wanted you to give me a definite answer. Whether it was that you wanted to be with me or if you wanted to just be friends, I wanted to know. THAT is what hurt me the most, the fear of not knowing. I am hurting too and it will take awhile for us to be normal with each other again, but now that I know how you truly feel helps a lot. I am heart broken that I ruined everything, but if we end up happy then it should be ok. Pain is not forever, being with you taught me that, and now I want to do whatever I can to make the pain stop for the both of us. I will tell you what I always tell you: be happy. And it is not all up to me. I still want you involved in my life, but you need to want to be involved, too. I love you, too. Just know, I tried my hardest.

Madam Merlise Shnieder
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The Rogue Prince
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Commented on: Tue Jun 15, 2010 @ 05:42am


	smiles I always want to be involved and always will be whether you like it or not because you can't get rid of that easy. hugs you tight I love you and I am glad that it is all finally said and done.I will be much happier when things are normal again.

Commented on: Tue Jun 15, 2010 @ 05:54am


	smiles gently Heh me, too. Although when it comes to the Shnieders, "normal" is not quite normal, is it? ^^" Ah well. I am going to go to bed now. I am so tired, I feel like I wanna flop. Have a good night.

Madam Merlise Shnieder
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