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The Golden Vaults of Reeves's Escapades
This was a journal once simply for keeping my many interviews with fellow Gaians. Now it is also the place where I archive memorable quotations, moments, and all around awesome stuff. Enjoy!
30 More Memorable Quotations
It's that time again, people! I have collected thirty more "words of wisdom," bringing the entire culmination to ninety quotations. Sit back, sip an Irish whiskey, and enjoy these golden words of hilarity.

30 More Memorable Quotations from the BK and Other Random Places on Gaia


61. Nips has a way with typos:
cheesy nipples: smilies/burning_eyes.gif I think I just did a little.
Nu Lucrezia: ...A little "nap"? smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif
cheesy nipples: Oh, crap. That's a typo! I meant died! DIED A LITTLE!
Reeves: And yet how appropriate it is either way.

62. If we could feel each other's emotions:
Nu Lucrezia: I'd rather not be emitting pleasure moans on the train. smilies/icon_gonk.gif
Reeves: I could just imagine a conductor with a sense of humor walking and over saying, "Sir, the lavatory is down the hall."
cheesy nipples: smilies/icon_xd.gif Or doing it in a restaurant and having someone at the table next to you say to the waiter, "I'll have what he's having."
Nu Lucrezia: You could even have the old couple who are like, "He hasn't made me make noises like that for years." "Shut up, Margaret."
cheesy nipples: Or someone asks you to do them a favor and you start agreeing loudly. "A simple yes would have been enough, you know."
Nu Lucrezia: Or in a club: "******** hell, that guy really likes this song."
cheesy nipples: McDonalds: "Boy, he really likes his burger."
Nu Lucrezia: This could go on for ages. "The sex scene hasn't even been on yet."
cheesy nipples: There's so many possibilities. "I'm sorry sir, but you're scaring the kids."
Nu Lucrezia: "The board agrees that your actions were not appropriate for the classroom. You're fired."
cheesy nipples: I can't think of anything to top that. smilies/icon_xd.gif

63. Courtesy just can't work here:
Nu Lucrezia: Okay, telling them to ******** off would be a bit strong, but I'd probably just say no in a half-polite way. smilies/icon_xp.gif
Violaceous Vertigo: Oh, you mean like please ******** off? smilies/icon_lol.gif
Nu Lucrezia: "Kindly go ******** yourself."
Couture Debonair: smilies/icon_rofl.gif smilies/icon_rofl.gif smilies/icon_rofl.gif "Please ******** off." That makes it so much better.

64. The only thing missing in both is brains:
cheesy nipples: Necro'd threads in the GD are a no no.
Violaceous Vertigo: It's actually a bit like watching the beginning of a zombie movie: Everyone reacts to this thing that is a little off, but still has the face of something they expect. All of a sudden they take a look at the post date and realize that what they just replied to is no longer among the living. Then they scream and get eaten in a brilliant display of blood spray. Or something like that.
Ribbish: That has got to be the greatest random simile I've read. Tell me you're sober and you can be my hero. smilies/icon_3nodding.gif

65. The parentheses are for when Nu and I weren't paying attention to nips:
Nu Lucrezia: And so it begins again! smilies/icon_rofl.gif
Reeves: So throwing nips' carcass into a river equals the beginning? Damn, this saga's gonna be fuuuucked up.
Nu Lucrezia: It's the dawn of a dark, dark age in the BK.
Reeves: Yeah, you guys can do that. I'm gonna stay away from the twisted horror stories.
Nu Lucrezia: I'm going to bail before someone suggests a cannibalistic orgy.
((cheesy nipples:: I HAVE AN IDEA FOR THE BARELY KNOWNS STORY. THE BARELY KNOWNS DAY OF THE LIVING DEAD!))
Reeves: Quick! Go to the corner where all the cute stuffed animals are! Shield your eyes with their cuteness!
((cheesy nipples: And I go unnoticed...))
Nu Lucrezia: Let's eat loads of candy so that we can be sweet again. smilies/icon_4laugh.gif
Reeves: I call the Hershey's minis.
cheesy nipples: smilies/icon_stare.gif
Reeves: What? You don't like Krackles? smilies/icon_gonk.gif

66. A different take on the Messiah than most:
Sedae: I bet Jesus likes chicken...
l00k its him: Jesus likes to dine out at Taco Bell after soccer games.

67. Ouch:
Nu Lucrezia: I'm more of an "actions speak louder than words" man. smilies/icon_wink.gif
cheesy nipples: That's why he's got such a good relationship with his right hand.
Nu Lucrezia: Along with the admiration of a fair few women.
cheesy nipples: It's not healthy referring to your fingers as women, Nu.

68. On the conclusion of Gaia's ridiculous Halloween 2009 event:
Reeves: There's deus ex machina...and then there's "WHAT THE ******** DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! smilies/icon_scream.gif"

69. The perfect reaction:
cheesy nipples: I've done that glass sliding door thing before. Ran straight into it. Ended up sitting on the floor thinking, "That's the first time air has ever hurt."

70. He has a point:
L Y Z Z A C I O U S ` D B: -still has the keys to her [ex-roomate] old room, too-
cheesy nipples: Still has keys? Hmm, revenge an act of the force dictates.
Reeves: Man, if she does anything involving those keys, I'm gonna just sit upright in my bed one night and whisper, "I felt a disturbance in the Force."
cheesy nipples: Man, if you think that's a disturbance in the force, you really haven't met the right bloke.

71. There's no better metaphor for it, really:
Violaceous Vertigo: The real question isn't whether or not GD is horrible, it's simply why would anyone ever want to go back? I think the answer is either A) out of some sense of duty, to try and bring something resembling intelligence back to it, or B) Because it's a bit like watching a horrible, horrible train wreck. You don't want to stare, but you just can't look away. The thing you don't know about this train wreck is that it's not simply an accident resulting in the deaths of hundreds. It's a train wreck caused by zombies. The longer you sit and stare at it, the yummier a target you become for the hoard until you are eventually either turned or consumed utterly. Aaaand that's twice in the same thread I just compared GD to zombies. smilies/icon_xd.gif

72. This one made me laugh out loud:
cheesy nipples: Cats are evil. Cats are evil, cute balls of fluff.
Couture Debonair: I'll evil your bal...wait, no. Never mind. I am just going to shut up now.

73. The proper way to dig old-fashioned men:
Nu Lucreza: I didn't realise you were into really old-fashioned men, Debo. smilies/icon_xp.gif
Couture Debonair:: Aye du b diggin' thur swag-n-such.
Reeves: Actually, it'd work better if you replied like this: Oh, yes, truly, good sir, for I am particularly fond of their sense of duty and manners pervading the psyche of modern society. Myes. Currant pie and hazelnut tea.

74. Oh, Nu:
L Y Z Z A C I O U S` DB: So Deb...since I sometimes look like I'm not wearing pants when I wear breeches...does that mean that you'd do me? smilies/icon_wink.gif
Nu Lucrezia: This thread just got a lot more interesting.
L Y Z Z A C I O U S ` D B: That's what happens when somebody with lesbian tendencies posts. ;D
Nu Lucrezia: Post more often, please?

75. A very true slogan for the decade:
cheesy nipples: I only used that [ice whip] 'cause I couldn't find a black one.
Couture Debonair: I'll black your one. <.<;
cheesy nipples: Sounds painful.
Couture Debonair: Indeed.
cheesy nipples: I think I'll keep mine the way it is then, thanks.
Couture Debonair: Well, I suppose that is fair enough. You did say thanks.
Reeves: Courtesy: Saving lives every day.

76. Old habits die hard:
Couture Debonair: Aye, and just like the teachers back in my day- YOU SIR NIPS shall get a spankin' with the paddle!
cheesy nipples: Wait a minute, you're younger than me and the teachers never used a paddle on me when I was at school. I think I'd remember that. Besides, I thought it was a cane, not a paddle?
Nu Lucrezia: The paddle is a bit more Dazed and Confused than schoolteacher.
Couture Debonair: I went to Catholic School. St. Bridgets...it was a paddle, darling.
cheesy nipples: I suppose you would be dazed and confused if someone smacked you with a paddle, though.
Couture Debonair: Wanna find out? smilies/icon_wink.gif

77. Well, we already know what she does with her insanity:
Nu Lucrezia: Damn you and your logic!
Reeves: But I loves my logic! I take it out for walks and give it cookies!

78. Sometimes you don't need clues:
Reeves: ...Wait a minute. You are telling me that there is marijuana out there...that smells like freaking cheese?
Nu Lucrezia: It kind of smells like cheese. smilies/icon_xd.gif It's a strain that's become pretty popular over here that came from Amsterdam and is reeeeeeeeeeally strong.
Reeves: ...WATSON! I THINK I HAVE SOLVED THE MYSTERY TO LIFE AND ITS PROBLEMS!
Nu Lucrezia: Nope, that's cocaine.
Reeves: Oh. ...Oh, right. Carry on, then.
Nu Lucrezia: Will do, Holmes. smilies/icon_razz.gif

79. The BK budget:
cheesy nipples: Actually, you should blame Reeves. While the idea to coin the phrase, "It's the BK" is my idea, the BK is actually Reeves' idea. Without the BK, the phrase wouldn't be possible, so therefore it's all Reeves' fault. smilies/icon_razz.gif
Reeves: ...That gives me so much power. smilies/icon_xd.gif
cheesy nipples: Uh-oh. That is totally the opposite of what I wanted to do.
Reeves: TOO LATE! I have full proof of it now! CUE LIGHTNING AND EVIL LAUGHTER TRACK!
cheesy nipples: We've had some cutbacks because of the recession. The lightning is now just Nu flicking the lights on and off and the evil laugh is just a midget doing his best Darth Vader voice through a paper cone.

80. Looking at real-life/anime adaptations of classic comic characters:
Meacorme: I love the first Calvin and Hobbes one [fanart], but the second one...is that Susie??? ...Ummm not sure what to think NOT SURE WHAT TO THIIIINK.
Reeves: Yep. That is Susie Derkins...with Calvin and Hobbes...both teenagers. Though to be fair, Watterston wrote their relationship with that sort of intention should they had even gotten older. smilies/icon_xd.gif
Meacorme: Point taken. But I still see them throwing snowballs at age 16. ...D'awwww, that's so adorable that my avatar just threw up a little.

81. That'd be the weirdest "Cops" episode ever.
cheesy nipples: Reeves gonna get arrested! smilies/icon_xd.gif
Meacorme: Bad Reeves, bad Reeves, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? ...Probably grab some chocolate, hide in a corner, and pray to God they don't find her sword collection...smilies/icon_razz.gif

82. Good Lord, man:
Reeves: All the posts we made after the glove smack! Lost! You know what that means? GAIA WANTS US TO DUEL! smilies/icon_gonk.gif
NogginDew: -puts on dandy dueling clothes and grabs his six shooter- Quite!
Reeves: (Adjusts top hat and monocle) Five paces, turn and fire!
cheesy nipples: ********' HELL MY a**! You b*****d! You shot me in the a**!
Reeves: ...But...but I haven't even pulled the trigger yet. smilies/icon_ninja.gif
cheesy nipples: Someone shot me. Either that, or someone copped a feel while I wasn't looking.
Reeves: ...Copping a feel = a similar sensation to getting shot in the a**? Dude, what kind of experiences have you had with people? smilies/icon_gonk.gif
cheesy nipples: Whoever it was, was very very rough. They must have wanted me very very badly. smilies/icon_3nodding.gif
Reeves: I'm not even going to ask what accessories they must have used.

83. After a call for "bitchslapping escapade" was mentioned:
Couture Debonair: Escapade read as Escalade to me. That was odd.
Reeves: Bitchslapping Escalade? You mean, like...a very bitchy, PMSing hybrid car? Because somehow, that seems to fit.
Couture Debonair: Yeah, in bubble gum pink. For real, son.

84. Hooray for confusing abbreviations for torture methods:
Nu Lucrezia: How about CBT? Maybe we can do CBT instead. smilies/icon_twisted.gif
Reeves: ...Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? smilies/icon_confused.gif
cheesy nipples: Cheese Bacon and Tomato?
Reeves: Cool Beats Tamborine?
L Y Z Z A C I O U S ` D B: c**k AND BALL TORTURE
Meacorme: ...Cookies Be Terrific? smilies/icon_razz.gif
cheesy nipples: c**k Biting Turtles?

85. Hey, it's true, she's hardcore:
cheesy nipples: Bunch of cows. smilies/icon_crying.gif
Meacorme: Hey! You be nice to us or no hot cocoa or attention for you! smilies/icon_talk2hand.gif
Reeves: Does Auntie Mea have to choke a b***h? You don't want Auntie Mea to choke a b***h. Trust me, it's scary.

86. Nu's words of wisdom:
Nu Lucrezia: Sarcasm on the internet is like translating Japanese on Babelfish - more often than not, it doesn't translate well.

87. Oh, yeah, that:
Reeves: 1. You're alive, which leads to... a. You can still enjoy tasty foods. b. You can still frequent the BK. c. You can still listen to awesome music. d. You can still ride your motorcycle. e. You can still make innuendo jokes. I could go on. smilies/icon_cool.gif
Undesired Desire: f. Sex.
Reeves: There we go. I knew I was missing something.
Undesired Desire: Hahaha, how can you forget sex?
Reeves: ...I'm a virgin? smilies/icon_razz.gif

88. Dealing with Ebenezer Scrooge, aka nips:
Reeves: smilies/icon_stare.gif I'ma kick the humbug out of you so hard you're gonna see more than just three spirits...

89. "Pinky and the Brain," BK style:
Reeves: "Nips, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" "I think so, Reeves, but the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie was rather disappointing."

90. [******** Benicio del Toro, we've got this guy:
cheesy nipples: I swear, if I don't shave, my beard grows down to meet my chest hair, which grows across to meet the hair on my shoulders, which grows backwards over my shoulders to meet the hair on my back.
Reeves: Oh my God! Nips is the WOLFMAN!
cheesy nipples: Except I don't transform in the moonlight. I'm that hairy ALL the time. So now you know why I get through shavers like nobody's business.
Reeves: ...Oh my God! Nips is SUPER WOLFMAN!





 
 
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