Once upon a time, there was this Platypus.
He was a homosexual platypus that masturbates to gay porn on Tuesdays, at the porno store,
cause he didn't have his own damn TV then they kicked him out.
And he ran to your box home, and found out that his boyfriend
was cheating on him because he saw him having sex
with another man platypus in HIS box so he cried, and then he became a RHINO
by the magical powers of his little fairy called 'Adam Lambert'.
He then found out he was really a woman in the end.
He then went to ******** a bee, ended up being stung by the bee plenty of times.
Suddenly, he became Edward Cullen.
Everyone then started to hate him, because the books are ******** GAY.
To vent his anger, He went to Jacob's house.
They made out, Had sexy time, A few months later a baby was born!
Edward raped the little kid, because it was all a 'mistake'.
Jacob cried because of this, Edward felt guilty and cried too, So did Bella...
He then decided to become a hooker, but so no one would notice
he was Edward ******** Cullen, he put on a wig and make up.
While on the job, He reunited with your Platypus boyfriend that cheated on him.
But he felt really bad so he apologized, And then they got married.
Congrats! You are now 'Edward Platypus!'.
Bella then came to ******** his a** up.

But too late, I already did.