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The Fight Between L and Swan: The Battle of Epic
Ok, so I was in a Death Note forum/Roleplay. Anyone who knows what Death Note is will understand this more than someone who doesn't know Death Note. I was fighting with L, the lead detective. It wasn't supposed to be a fight, but it turned into one... I need opinions on this from anyone who reads. Leave a comment and/or PM me if you don't mind... atleast to let me know that you commented. Here's the question that I need answered:

Should I have won this? Or am I just crazy?


~.~.~.~.~.~


[Swan]To L: -Takes her apple and glances over at L- Oh, hello, L... I don't believe we've been properly introduced. My name is Swan.

[L]To Swan: -stares at apple-
Ah yes. I don't believe introductions are really necessary under these circumstances, but...
Hello, Swan. As you know, I'm L.
-slurps tea noisily-


[[Enter Light Yagami]]

[Swan]To L: -Nods- Yes, I know who you are, L. -Tosses the apple in her hand, seeming to be almost bored- So... how is the Kira case?

To Light: Hello, Light. I missed you. -Winks-


[L]To Swan: Then you've proven my point that introductions are useless.
The Kira case is coming along just fine, thank you.
-glances at with a droll expression- If you're bored, I'm sure we can find a nice coloring book for yourself and Matsuda-san to share.

[Swan]To L: -Laughs softly- An introduction was nessisary on my part, though. Anyway, If Matsuda wishes to use a coloring book then he may do so, but I don't expect that I'll be joining him, although that mental image is making me want to giggle.


[Light Yagami]To Swan: Good evening. I suppose it's been a while. How was your day?

[L]To Swan: Ah, I see.
You mean you won't be joining him? But I'm certain that he would vastly enjoy your company while Raito-chan and I are furthering the investigation between the sheets.

[Swan]To L: -Shakes her head- No, I'm afraid not. I'm sure he would much prefer Misa-Misa's company to mine. However, I am eager to help you and Light with the investigation where ever it may be.

To Light: -Smiles and bows- It has been a while, Light. I am well, how are you tonight?


[L]To Swan: fixes you with a blank stare-
I appreciate the thought, but that isn't necessary. Raito-chan and I work well together, just the two of us. *cue music*

[Swan]To L: -Crosses her arms over her chest, still holding her apple, and pouts- But I wanna help with the Kira case! I'm sure you two can handle eachother in bed it for the most part, but I want to help! -Grumbles to herself- With the Spawn of Satan helping... you can't go wrong...

[L]To Swan: ponders-
Hn... -taps finger against his cheek-
...
> .> Can you make coffee, by any chance?


[Light Yagami]To Swan: I'm fine. I had quite a busy Turkey Day. Did you celebrate?

[Swan]To L: -Blinks- Coffee? You just asked... if I can make coffee? -Resists the urge to laugh out loud and nods- Yes, L. I can make coffee. I did used to own a bar, afterall...

To Light: -Nods and shrugs- Yeah, I had turkey dinner. It was very nice, quite boring though. -Glances at L for a second- And, No, I don't want any coloring books, thank you. -Rolls her eyes- Hey, Light? -Whispers- I really, really like your story. I'm hooked.


[Light Yagami]To Swan: Not into coloring, hm~?
Oh, and thank you. Actually...you just reminded me...I completely forgot that I was going to work on it during my vacation this week, but it seems like I'm more busy during my days off than when I'm at school. *SIGH*


[L]To Swan: Excellent. In that case, as the leader of the Kira investigation, I will allow you... to get me some coffee. Black, with no less than seven sugar cubes~ if you please.
-ignores the eye roll-
And I hope you realize that whispering to Raito-chan makes his percentage rise.
-smiles cheerfully-

[Swan]To Light: -Shakes her head, a slight look of discust on her face- No, I must say I strongly dislike coloring. But I love your story, Light. I love it. As I said, I'm hooked and I'm already seeing TONS AND TONS of foreshadowing that's making my stomach clench up with anticipation. -Mumbles- ******** Near anyways...

L: -Shoots a sharp glare at L- His percentage when up, did it? What about mine, then? I'll bring you coffee, L, but let us get one thing straight. I'm no servant. Alright? I'm quite the opposite. -Adjusts her silver crown- Am royalty.
-Sulks off to get L his sugar with some coffee-


[L]To Swan: Ah.. your percentage? I'm afraid you don't have one. I don't believe you possess the right... qualities to be accepted as a Kira suspect. -swivels around in his chair-
And let us get another thing straight, princess. I am leading this investigation, so that makes me the King. -waves a chess piece- The only royalty that matters here, is myself.[color]

[color=darkred][Light Yagami]To Swan: Swan: Heh~ I see that we share sentiments about Near.
I have to admit, I hate having to even write about him.


[Swan]To L: -Comes back into the room and very carefully sets down a hot cup of coffee infront of L and then another tray of sugar cubes- Hmph. If you weren't looking to execute Kira, I'd almost be offended at not being a suspect. -mumbles to herself- I'm smarter than him anyway... -She turns to walk away- But never the less, You may be "King of the investigation", Ryuzaki, but I have royal blood and I always will have.

Light: I appologize, Light. -Whispers- I think L is jealous that I'm spending so much time with you... -Talks normal again- Yes, Near angers me... he always has.


[L]To Swan: -takes coffee cup; plops in sugar cubes- Thank you~ this is excellent.
To be honest, your bloodline doesn't interest me. Blood is only important when it has been spilled.

Whispering again? I'm not deaf, you know. Trust me, there is nothing for me to be jealous about. -smirks-[/white]

[color=darkred][Light Yagami]To Swan: I think it's best not to anger him, if I were you...
As for Near, he was never nearly as worthy an opponent as L.


[Swan]To Light: -Growls softly- Hmph. It doesn't really matter if I anger him or not does it? It's not like he's going to arrest me on suspision of being Kira. He already told me he doesn't think I'm smart enough to be Kira. All the same to me. Weather I am or weather I'm not, he wouldn't even invesitage. Also, there's I guess no point in trying to hide what I say, as either he has ultra super hearing or he was trying to eavesdrop. -Makes eye contact with Light- I'm sorry... I just hate losing... -Grumbles softly and looks away- Atleast he likes his coffee. -She spits, bitterly-

[L]To Swan: Eavesdropping? I think not. In case you haven't noticed, this entire building is wired with cameras and hidden microphones.
Despite how absorbed I happen to be in the Kira case, being Kira is not the only crime that can be committed. If you so wish to fall on the wrong side of the law, I'm sure I could find some way to prosecute you. I aim to please.

And yes, the coffee is delicious. Thank you.


[Light Yagami]To Swan: Calm down, try to just...relax. This is a break room, there's no point in stirring up trouble here.

[Swan]To L: -Growls softly and turns around to face L- Bugs and cameras, huh? With all due respect, L, it seems you're telling me that you're watching me, right now, on camera and right before your eyes? And you're also telling me that you're listening to me twice at the same time in addition to the video? If so, then my vision must be going as I don't see myself on any of the monitors within your eyesight, unless you have super human eyes as well. Forgive me, but I doubt it. Therefore by process of elimination, you must have been eavesdropping.

Also, I have no intentions of being "on the wrong side of the law" as you put it.
-Glares at L, narrowing her eyes-

To Light: -Sighs heavily- You're right... I'm sorry, Light... I have great difficulty controling my temper... I suppose I get that from... my father... -Shudders-


[L]To Swan: stares at, amused- Yes, I am watching you. Right now, on camera, right before my eyes.
-turns laptop around; shows surveillance footage while taking an earpiece out of his left ear-
While I don't find it the most pleasant thing to look at, or listen to, it is necessary for investigative purposes.
I'm afraid your process of elimination was dreadfully illogical and based on the juvenile assumption that I feel compelled to watch you.

-slurps coffee- I am watching my suspect.


[Light Yagami]To Swan: Swan, you must be under a lot of pressure...

[Swan] -Puts her face in her hands and growls softly, willing herself, no, FORCING herself, to remain calm. Had she learned nothing in her life, she'd be in a fight or under arrest at the current moment. This whole situation wasn't her fault, afterall... right? She had been nice to the detective, haddn't she? Atleast untill he had insulted her. And still as she fights to keep her temper in check, he continues to insult her. With her back turned to the detective, she slowly looks up at Light, and then quickly covers her face again- I'm sorry, Light... I just... I mean, I didn't mean... Oh that b*****d! -She snarles into her hands- Next I'm sure he'll tell me that he can read my mind, right? Or maybe... maybe he can read my face or my voice? -She growls again, positively shaking in an attempt to hold back her fury-

[L]To Swan: I can still hear you, princess.
Though I am an orphan now, I know who my parents were. I'm no b*****d.
-spins around in his chair, looking more than slightly amused-
To be honest, I probably could read your mind~ though something tells me that what I find wouldn't interest me in the least. Your facial expressions give you away, as does your seemingly constant struggle with your temper.
Perhaps we could have gotten along if you hadn't been so intent on weaseling your way into an investigation that has nothing to do with you.


[Light Yagami]To Swan: I wouldn't put something like telepathy past a detective like Ryuuzaki. He seems to pick up odd skills.

[[Exit Light Yagami]]

[Swan]To L: -Swan groans and clenches her teeth, letting her hands fall away from her face, with her back still turned to the detective- I never had intended for you not to hear me. You think I'm that stupid that I haddn't figured that out by now? I may not be a genius, but I'm not dumb. Also, I knew my facial expressions were easy to see, hence why I was covering my face. The statement you made about reading my mind is perposterous. The mind is not a book that one can simply open and read. Mind reading is impossible, even for you. And anyone here can tell that I'm fighting my temper. It is obvious. And the investigation... I was invited here. I did no weaseling. I was semi-joking about getting between you and Light earlier, but apparently you can't read sarcasm. The only reason I have to be involved in this investigation is for Light's sake. And don't go getting any crazy ideas about feelings I may or may not have for him. The fact of the matter is that I trust Light and as a friend I wanted to help him with something that seemed to be causing him a fair amount of stress. That is all.

I do have to say though, Ryuzaki... -She turns around slowly to face him- You are the only in here who is adressing me properly.


[L] You hadn't? If that was the case, there wouldn't have been any reason for you to whisper to Raito-chan, hm? Also, if you've ever studied deductive logic you would know that mind-reading isn't as preposterous as you say. By witnessing even the smallest of actions and reactions, uttered phrases and the like, it is possible to deduce what someone is thinking. I take it you aren't a fan of Poe?

And you said you were semi-joking~ which means you weren't completely joking, if you didn't realize that. I can very well read sarcasm, but apparently yours was laced with truth.

If you were truly concerned for Raito-chan's well-being, you wouldn't have tried to interfere with the investigation. Your actions have only caused him greater stress, due to your suspicious behavior.

-stares at you with a deadpan expression- Addressing you properly? It would seem that you haven't initiated a conversation with anyone else. That could be why no one else is addressing you.

[Swan] -Swan growls- Damnit, Ryuzaki! Stop twisting everything I say! After you told me that you were listening, I was no longer trying to whisper, was I? Also, I stand by what I said. Mind-reading is impossible. To guess how someone is feeling or maybe their thoughts on a certain subject given their body language, tone of voice and facial expressions is not what I call "Mind-reading". It's simple common sence. Obviously you and anyone else in here can tell that I'm not very happy at the moment. In fact, I'm positively enraged. But it doesn't take a genius who says he can "read minds" to figure that out!

Yes, I was semi-joking. Which means I was semi-telling the truth. But what difference does it make? I decline to further explain my intentions.

But I am concerned for Light. I'm not interfering as you put it, like I said, I was invited to join this investigation. And how do you know what kind of stress he's under on my behalf? I haven't done anything that would cause Light any more stress than what he has now except for this argument with you. And the only reason we're argueing is because you insulted me.

And of course I haven't initiated a conversation with anyone else. I'm too busy fighting with you. The only other person I've taken interest in is Light and he didn't adress me properly either, but I never asked it of him.


[L] -chuckles- If your words can be twisted, apparently, what you say is flawed. Yes, you did continue to whisper after I initially told you that I could hear what you were saying. As for mind-reading, I stand by what I said. If I am able to deduce what you were thinking, if I am able to obtain the information and voice what is going on inside your head, it is mind-reading~ whether telepathy was involved or not.

You can decline to explain your intentions all you want. I will simply go on assuming that you're here to either attempt to come between Raito-chan and I, which is laughable, or to interfere with the investigation. By coming to Raito-chan's aid, you are making it look like he has something to hide. I'm sure you don't want that, do you?

Wouldn't you say that every time his percentage rises, it puts more stress on his shoulders? I find it highly suspicious for you to behave the way you have been behaving, which leads to an increase in his percentage. Therefore, you are directly causing him undue grief. As for insulting you, I merely state information as I see it. As much as I adore sugar, I don't sugarcoat the truth.

That being said, if I am able to uphold multiple conversations, I see no reason why it should be a hassle for you~ if you are smarter than Kira.

[Swan] If I weren't so pissed off, I'd be laughing. I am not here to come between you and Light. I don't steal other people's lovers. -Swan shakes her head- Also, I never said I was incapable of upholding multiple conversations, I just choose not to. The only reason you say that you can know what I'm thinking is by how I act. If I don't act or react, if I keep a straight face and say nothing, if I don't move a muscle, you cannot tell what is going through my mind. But as I said before, if it's based on how I react to something, then yes, you can tell how I feel, not what I'm thinking.

Don't try to fool me, Ryuzaki. Those percentages you throw out are nothing but pure bullshit. You use them as an attempt to threatin people. One percent or thirteen percent or seventy six percent, it's all the same to you. It all comes out to equal ninty-nine percent or higher in your eyes. So if my actions are making Light seem so much more suspicious that it's making his "percentage" go up, you may as well arrest him now because you're well over one hundred by now. The fact of the matter is, Ryuzaki, you are a liar.


[L] Oh~? I see. Then the statement you made in which you were semi-joking was, in all actuality, a complete joke and you lied about it twice~ Tsk, tsk.

Also, you said that no one but myself was addressing you properly~ even Light, but that was because you didn't ask him to. If you had no intention of conversing with anyone else, why should anyone else address you? You're talking in circles.

You are sorely mistaken if you believe that what you feel and what you are thinking are completely separate things. I find it highly unlikely that you are thinking about unicorns and puppy dogs when your face is throwing a metaphorical tantrum. Think what you like, I'm not going to argue the mechanics of deductive logic with someone that obviously isn't going to listen out of sheer arrogant stubbornness.

As for my percentages, you are again mistaken. If I wanted to threaten Raito-chan with his percentage, I would raise it to a disturbingly high level and watch him squirm under the pressure~ but threatening isn't my idea of investigating. So again, think what you like. My methods may not seem conventional to you, but that is why I am the three greatest detectives in the world and you are not.

[Swan] -Blinks and shakes her head. She then stares blankly at the detective- L... You're trying to draw circles around what I've been saying and it's... starting to confuse me. -Her anger slowly starts to melt away- Weather or not I have lied about the "joke" I made is no longer a topic of dicussion. When I said that no one was addressing me properly, which I have noticed that you no longer do, it was another failed attempt to be nice. I chose to ignor the mocking tone with which you said it, in hopes that we might stop bickering, without resignation of my stance in the argument.

And yet again, I stand by what I said as per mind reading. It is not my thoughts that you read, it it my feelings. I shall try to explain this again to you, for you seem to still think that I am stupid. How do I feel right now? Can you tell, Ryuzaki? I am furious. Are we on the same page so far? Good. What am I angry about? You. That is obvious. What more specifically? The fact that you have insulted me multiple times now. We can agree on that, yes? Well, I believe that it where our agreement ends. See, I will bet my immortal soul that you cannot tell me the exact sentence that is running through my mind as we speak. Can you unlock the deep secrets of my mind beyond the topic about which we are discussing? I think not. And that, my dear detective, is where I say, You Cannot Read My Mind. Is it nessisary to know what's inside my mind? No. Is it relevant to know the exact sentecen running through my synapses at this perciece moment? No. But the fact remains that you cannot do it. -A muscle in her jaw twitches as though she wants to say something else, but she doesn't- It's not relevant, Ryuzaki. Don't even try to guess.

And with your percentages, you can't hide that from me Ryuzaki. I might not be the greatest detective in the world, but I know atleast that much about you. And even if you did have the desire to put that much pressure on Light... well that makes you a bad lover, doesn't it?


[L] Drawing is not my forte, so again, you are incorrect. I merely showed you the path your words have made and bid you to follow it; it is your own fault you are going in circles.
I have been addressing you properly. Your name is Swan. I do not acknowledge any status of royalty that you think you might have, because it doesn't concern me. Neither your lineage, nor your demands that I respect it, interest me in the slightest.

Ah, you're trying to use my tactics~ it's a shame that you've failed at it. You can't twist what I said, which was: It is possible to tell what you are thinking from your actions and reactions to stimuli that you encounter when under observation. Perhaps you can't fathom such a concept because you can't utilize it. However, not once did I say that it was always possible, nor did I say that I had any inclination to attempt to do so. It was you that suggested mind-reading as a skill of mine. If you don't believe me, go back and see for yourself.

As for what you supposedly "know about me", I would suggest that you discard it and empty your internal recycle bin. It's lead you into nothing but folly so far. And yes, if I had a desire to threaten Raito-kun and pressure him unduly, I would be a bad lover. Fortunately for he and myself, I have already stated that it is not in my nature to do that~ and I'm sure he will agree that I am quite satisfactory as a lover. Not that it's any of your business.

[Swan] -Swan growls lowly and exhales. When she speeks, her voice is white hot with rage as her temper flares again- It seems that I have forgotten something, L. About three greatest detectives in the world? Yeah, I'm sure. With the complete cooperation of interpol and complete control of the media by which Kira targets his victims you managed to narrow down Kira's location to a single city- not because you're some grand genius or anything, but because Kira's the only person in the world more arrogant than you.

Again, Kira just HANDS you the information that he's connected to the police by doing the exact opposite of what the police reports say. So where does all this information dropped into your lap lead you? To Light. Your main suspect. Alright, great. He's been living in this building- with every inch of it wired to monitor everything we do I might add- for HOW long, and what've you got to show for it?

You want to impress me and show me that you're as genius as you claim? Don't throw millions of dollars at an investigation only to have it grind to an immediate halt because all of your "success" was based on information handed to you by the man you pursue!

-Swan's anger flares once more, but soon enough calms back down and she stops shaking. After a moment, she speaks again, her voice now ice cold. She sighs heavily- Ryuzaki, you are wrong. I did not insinuate that you had the ability to mind read. The statement that I said to that effect was purely sarcasm. You claim to know sarcasm, but apparently you failed this time. It was YOU who said you could read my mind if you wanted to, thus starting our argument on that.

I was not talking in circles. I said that you were the only person addressing me properly not for lack of other conversations, but to point out that despite your earlier issue with my bloodline, you still addressed me as "Princess". Weather or not you see that as fit now is no longer an issue. The fact is that you were, and that is all I said. You assume that I meant "no one else is addressing me properly" and that is NOT what I said. I said "You are the only one addressing me properly." It is your fault that we argued on that point as well.

And as for what I know about you, I will not discard it, for I know it to be the truth. Though it is a stretch for a great detective such as yourself, it is possible that you do not know it about yourself. And I cannot say weather Light knows it as the truth, either, but what I can say is that I know it as the truth. As for proof... I have none that wouldn't break the fourth wall. Ask about it separately and I shall tell you. But as far as this conversation goes, I have no proof.

That being said... I'm not saying I'm better than you- I'm not a detective at all. I'm just saying, maybe you should be a little less condescending about your detective skills.

But untill then... would you like some more sugar cubes?


[L] It seems that you have trouble staying on topic. This discussion is not about my methods of investigation, nor is it about how I tracked Kira this far. Kira did not "hand" me anything. His own failures and mistakes are what led me to discover my information. As for the monetary aspect of the investigation, that is none of your concern. I've solved more cases than you can fathom over the span of my lifetime, amassing more wealth than I could ever hope to spend. What better way to spend it than on something I'm passionate about? Justice and sugar.

Again, you are mistaken. I feel no need to impress you; on a whim, I decided to show you the error of your thought processes though you still refuse to look past your own nose at the truth staring you right in the face. Don't flatter yourself.

I'm growing weary of saying this by now, but you are wrong. Again. I realize that you were using sarcasm when you so acidly suggested mind-reading, but I felt inclined to point out that it wasn't such a far-fetched idea. I am open-minded, after all. One can't become a good detective until he or she learns to think outside the box. At no point did I say I was going to attempt it, nor did I say it was a fool-proof process, as I previously stated. You really are quite hilarious when you're angry.

You were talking in circles, and you continue to do so. You jump from one irrelevant point to another, sometimes switching sides and arguing against the point you so vehemently defended a moment before. It's rather amusing to watch you confuse yourself by backing into a corner and then trying to get yourself out of it. I was the only one addressing you properly, but as I'm sure you know, I was using sarcasm. Apparently in your mind, when one uses sarcasm it negates any and all discussions that stem from said sarcasm. If that is the case, then I wasn't addressing you properly and you have no reason to think I did. On the other hand, if I was addressing you properly, that means that your use of sarcasm is a valid point of debate and your defense of "I was being sarcastic" holds about as much water as a rusted-out sieve.

As for what you know about me, if you have no tangible proof, it means nothing. I'm not interested in your fairy-tale, look-at-me-I'm-a-princess nonsense. My detective skills were not and are not a legitimate part of the original discussion. The original discussion was about your intentions here, and your ridiculous demand for respect when you have given me absolutely no reason to award it to you.

That being said, I think this has gone on long enough. I'm sure everyone else is as tired of the nonsense as I am. Good day to you.

[Swan] -Sighs heavily and sits down on the floor, leaning against the wall. She's exhausted and her voice is heavy- I'd wave a white flag if I had one, because clearly you didn't really understand the last bit of what I said. Let me translate for you: "You win, I give up. Can you be nice to me now?" That's basically what I was saying. Usually when I get into a fight, L, it's with someone less argumentative and less arrogant than myself. But I met my match in you. Neither of us can win this unless the other backs down, so here I am. I'm backing down. You win, so I ask again... do you need more sugar cubes? -Swan rubs her eyes gently-

And now that I'm no longer "in charactor", if you will, I will reveal to you my proof. Anyone who has read Death Note 13, How to Read will know that, as described by the author himself, L is a liar. His percentages are bullshit, Light was NEVER his friend, and he is a liar. But if one has NOT read Death Note 13, How to Read, one would not know that fact. Judging by your reaction to my "truth" I assume that either you had not read it, refused to believe it, or were bullshitting because you knew it to be true. No matter your reason, it IS the truth as written in Death Note 13, How to Read.


[L] And apparently you didn't understand when I said I was through with the discussion. I said I'd had enough of the nonsense.

To be honest, I really don't care what it says in Death Note, book 13. I roleplay L the way I see fit. Your "proof" doesn't mean the slightest s**t to me. C:

Oh, and just for the record: "Even while fighting him as an enemy L establishes a weird friendship with Light. They make a good team during the Yotsuba investigation."

-Page 11 of How to Read.

Light and L were friends.

[Swan] I'm TRYING to be nice, here. Page 64, How to Read, bottom right hand corner there is the question, "L has no friends?" And the answer to that is, "Nope. And when he says that Light is is first friend, that's a big lie. He never considers him a friend. He probably secretly thinks really negitive things about him." Light and L were never friends. You may roleplay L as you see fit, no one has any say on that. I'm just point out tangable evidence.

And with that, I take my leave. It seems no matter what I do you refuse to be nice. It seems you are just as stubborn as myself and there isn't room enough for both of us here. You've been here longer than I have so you have more right to be here than I do. So I bid you farewell. Veni Vidi Vici

-Swan walks out of the Lounge door, never to return-


[[Exit Swan]]

[L] Trying to be nice? Personally, I don't see the point. I don't like you and I won't pretend that I do.

But anyway, if you lurk around long enough to see this, what you quoted was from an interview with the author. The author himself wrote How to Read, so it would seem that he has conflicting views on the relationship of Light and L. It's open to interpretation, though I'd believe what the author himself wrote, rather than what was possibly paraphrased during an interview.

Your evidence does not pertain to me, so kindly keep it to yourself.

I believe a more appropriate phrase would have been "Veni, vidi, defeci."


[[FIN]]

Evil Black Swan
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