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A Tingly Feeling
I has it.
Seriously.
Whenever I'm roleplaying, I get this tingly feeling in my gut. Like.. anticipation, almost. It's not the best feeling in the world, I suppose, but it's up there. I get it when I'm roleplaying, drawing, and thinking about my stories - it doesn't happen all the time, but enough that I can say that it does.
It's like... exhilaration, almost, a quiet intensity. Creating a universe is a challenge, one I usually accept. It seems like a drawing - somewhere is that perfect line, and I have to find it. Somewhere is that perfect detail, and putting it into thoughts makes me swell with pleasure. Seeing it typed up, ready for the world to see... once, I almost felt like crying tears of pride.
Drawing has a similar thing for me. When i draw, sometimes things just come to me right as the pencil is on the paper. That's pretty rare, actually. What usually happens is that I have a brief image in my head, or sometimes a very solid image. I feel obligated to draw it because if i don't, I'll forget. And drawing is faster than writing. It's... like an outline, a prewriting. Behind that drawing, I can begin to visualize more aspects of that character, perhaps even entire worlds and events.
And, I think that's where the tingly feeling comes from. It's power, I think. Molding an entire world to your liking... it does things to you. And it's fascinating, how one push here can mean a pull there. Do that enough times, and things tend to write themselves. It's beautiful. It's better then all the holidays put together. It's why I like to roleplay so much. To have just a few ideas and then take them and turn them into something creative, amusing, suspenseful, surprising, yet orderly in it's own way. To have a set of rules, and learn how to play by and around them, it gives me a tingly feeling. It's a challenge, like a call to arms. And I won't tell anyone, because they know it already.
I love a fight.
And to create a story, that's almost like battling myself.
It's great.
And it gives me a tingly feeling in my gut.
Like anticipation, like exhilaration, like power.
When I write, when I draw, I have power.
Remember that.
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