So far since my last rather waked entry things have brightened up a bit. I turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and right after it my buddy Fu became more than just my buddy XD I hope things keep going the way they are now, mom sometimes asks me strange questions and they still fight a little but at least they're not literally trying to kill each other or the house now. I love them both but sometimes i wanna just shove a plug in it or put them in time out.
Mom asked me the other day if when I graduated from school would I want to leave starke. I don't wanna but even so, I'm going to college in Orlando hopefully, only a couple of hours away so it's no problem coming back to visit my friends. Things get complicated... Right now I may end up going to an art school nearby instead of Full Sail university.. Not because we cant afford it I don't think, but because mom doesn't believe in my abilities. Money is no problem, with my talents scholarships can pay for all of it, and I'd find a way to pay for my housing too. Bill said he'd pay for it all but that's a lot of money... a little over 55k to be exact.... But it's for all four years and includes all the books, materials, classes, programs and equipment. It includes everything but housing. The four year program is squeezed into 21 months so to be truthful, it's a hell of a savings bin if you compare it to a lot of other schools another college mom thought would be cheaper was 32k per year and that's just the tuition... times that by four and add housing expenses, books, classes, materials, food and whatnot for the four years, that's a lot of money... Why not save money that I really don't need to spend (and wont be spending anyways with scholarships) and get top quality schooling too? I think she just doesn't want her house maid to go away for two years.
So that's a problem there. I don't wanna leave my high school but lately I've been preparing myself for it and slowly detaching myself emotionally, except on Fu's part, honestly everyone could live without me and move on, Fu could too probably, but I will not be hurting anyone. that's against my entire being. Besides, I luffles him too much to detach myself from him too.
so in otherwords, my minds been whirling about with dark thoughts with one corner that's compleatly calm, another corner has turned all pink and fuzzy and I'm not going to try to explain that... . . . but the rest of my head has become one big dark scary tornado, though under that I see a yellow brick road and a red brick road and then a path leading back to West Virginia and the loony bin. Once the tornado clears out I will be able to see where the other paths lead and if i don't like where they lead i'll carve out a new one damn it.