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Warning: Reading my journal may cause depression.

This is my reality check. Ranting and raving about the issues. Here, nobody cares about your feelings, so STFU and listen! x.o
Kuroni's Movie Bash: District 9
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Reviews made by Ms. One and Only, Kuroni


If you're planning on going out on a Friday night, taking a few friends to a nice night at the movies, Don't. Sit your a** down cause I have s**t to tell. First off... Who the ******** goes to the movies on a Friday night? Hello, Go get drunk you ********! Why pay 8 bucks to see a movie that'll be on the net 3 days after its been release? Durr! I know your thinking, but its logically correct, and the screen is huge. Oh boo hoo, Does it sound like I give a rats a**. Now listen up!


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Released: April 18th 2008


Directed by: Rob Minkoff (Nice, bet you were teased as a child.)
Starring:
Jackie Chan (Woo!)
Jet Li (Boo)
Lui Yifei (I before E execpt after C, your last name blows.)
Collin Chou (?)
Li Bingbing (Ahahaha, your name sucks dude)
Michael Angarano (.....)
Music by: David Buckley (Not bad...)
Running time: 1 hour and 53 minutes. (Pretty good...)
Budget: $55 million[3] (Ruined it...)


Kuroni's mood while watching: Excited
Kuroni's mood after watching: Disappointed, not enough Jackie

Kuroni's verdict

Alright, You have got to be ******** kidding me, As if they finally put Jackie Chan and Jet Li together, I almost sharted my pants. Jackie is like an all time God/Batman and Jet Li is like the wannabee god/robin. You'll never be Jackie, Li! No matter what, even if you play a funny role, Jackie owns you!

Ok, Anyways... The movie starts with an unusual plot. Apparently theres this monkey immortal thing who owns the crap out of everyone with his leet, wire tricks and his apparently invincible staff, which is flapping around like a wet noodle and making the sound of a whip cracking, I'm just waiting for it to shatter and impale his a** with billions of invincible splinters... Hate...Rising...

Anyone else noticing a pattern that all the main white boys in movies are nerdy, freaks who have no lives and are constantly picked on/beat up. stare Transformers...

So basicly, The Forbidden Kingdom is like any other Jackie chan movie with him flying around trying to save the day, And Jet Li trying to keep up. With the expected plot twist at the end. The apparent bad guys who never prevail and the happily ever after ending. Therefore... I give this movie 6 dirty saunches thumbs out of 10.


Kuroni's Rating 6/10





 
 
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