Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

SHI TO KU
Doggy Shi Doggy Ku
I hated my life. I also hated how God thought I could handle being alive. If I can handle living, surely hell would be a cake-walk. Keeping that in mind how would that be a punishment? Darkness? Insomnia? I already had that living. Maybe, in fact "living" was the punishment. Maybe, I would be better off dead. Ever since I turned fourteen I felt almost teased by him, laughing at me. Putting me through all these obstacles, like I was some kind of dog.

Every day, I would drink in the bathroom. When I was intoxicated it would get rid of the feeling of being alive, at least until I turned sober again. I have to say, being intoxicated was the greatest feeling in the world, I almost felt happy, almost. It was all just an allusion, a dream. And when I woke up from that dream, the world was just as horrible as it was before I fell asleep.

I wasn't all talk, of course I've tried killing myself. Every time I managed to get my shower hose around my neck, and I was lifted off the ground, my girlfriend came in and "saved" me. She use to threaten that she would leave me, my response was always, "go ahead." She never did though, at least not until after my death, but we'll get to that later.





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum