You know, when most people make a mistake, they usually have the guts to get over it after a while. When something major happens, something so major that it could make a drastic change in life, somehow people always manage to cope with it and continue on. Besides, what's done is done. It's all in the past. But what if you had the power to change all that?
If you had the chance to change anything you wanted, to correct any mishap or destroy future pains, would you take the chance? Of course you'd be tempted. A perfect life. A different life. A life where everything was how you wanted it to be. It all seemed a very simple thing at first, but I should have known. There's no way that such a thing could ever exist, and it was stupid of me to even hope for it. You can't change the world so it can be just how you want it to be.
I am the biggest idiot on this Earth. And now I'm paying the price for it: death.
As I lay there, still, with tears shedding from my eyes, I tried to think about all the good things that had come out of this. There weren't that many to list. I guess I'd just have to live with this devastation; live with it for who knew how many more seconds. In a way, I figured something like this would happen sooner or later, but not precisely in this way. For some funny reason, I thought I could stop this from happening, and I failed, miserably.
Perhaps it was better for me to have lived my life in this adventure though. If it weren't for any of this chaos, I would have never experienced the unexpected turns that made me able to smile. Though this wasn't the happiness I was looking for, it was still such a wonderful thing to have felt. It was a shame that it could only last for a short while though. Surely enough, misery came back to haunt everyone all over again. It was impossible to avoid, it seemed. Especially for me.
As that sunk in, I abruptly acknowledged that I wasn't the only one that was going to suffer the consequences for that though. To think that I actually thought I'd be saving someone through all of this, when in fact I had done the opposite. Now there was someone who should have never even been dragged into this who was going to die. I couldn't bear it. In the midst of all the action and chaos, I jeopardized a life without intending to. Now, I realized too late, that I wasn't going to be the only one leaving this world. I can't turn back. I can't save that person. I can't do anything anymore!
Death, then my death, followed by even more death.
It all seemed like too cruel a fate.
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