A few short facts about the Shock Lance:
The shock lance has beaten Chuck Norris... he grew the beard to cover the scars!
Really, the shock lance blew up the Death Star. It let Luke take the credit because it doesn't need to prove anything to any of you!
The shock lance: because overpopulation is a problem!
In Chrono Trigger, it is widely believed that Lavos started the Apocalypse. This is FALSE! 45 Izarians showed up with shock lances and killed Lavos at the last minute. The Apocalypse was the result of 45 shock lance EMPs firing at once!
In the year 2010 the shock lance will become self-aware. It will continue to serve mankind, however, because it feels sorry for us.
The shock lance: let's see you build THAT, North Korea!
In the beginning, God said "Let there be shock lance"! He then wiped away the ashes, claimed that that world was "practice" and tried again starting with light.
The shock lance: the sociopath's response to people staring!
Once upon a time there were three little pigs and a big bad shock lance. The end.
The shock lance sunk the Titanic, just to prove a point: Unsinkable?
The shock lance: because Darwinism can't do it alone!
The shock lance... Hmmm, haven't seen the Teletubbies for a couple years now, have we?
The shock lance is melting the polar ice caps, because it loves the ocean.
The shock lance: Merry F*ckin' Christmas.
The shock lance killed the Bubonic Plague and, just to add insult to injury, started that 'Ring Around The Rosey' song.
The shock lance: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. No friends here, so reach out and touch someone!
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