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Hours seem to pass and more realizations come to pass.

This time... was about a promise.


I've cut off contact with a certain individual for an indefinate period of time. Many people that may read this may in the back of their mind know this certain individual, personally or through me. However, if it's through me, you may not know the whole story and this persons character... or maybe their character... but that's up to you to decide I guess.


I have made many promises to this invidual, many I had broken... but I stopped today and thought "why did I break such simple things?"

.....I look at myself now, compared to a time long ago and realize... I was just a kid. a selfish little kid.

But where does that get me now? well i'll tell you.

It makes me understand that there is so much more that I still have to learn, but that is life. I can't hold myself back and regret every little thing I did or how things may or may not be now. It hurts knowing that people can't be there as much as they could at one time.... but i'm not the only person in this world who changes.

As much as I loved this person, I still stop and ask myself why I loved this person so much....

I think it was a number of reasons. I loved this person out of fear and passion I guess. Fear for the fact that I may never find anyone else like this person again... and passion because what else would you feel for someone that you could spend a life with?

I fear... that I still may love this person... but for the wrong reasons... I want to be with them because of the fear I mentioned about... but thats no basis for love... infact.. that's the complete opposite.

I should ((and I do)) love this person because of who they are as a person and everything they have done till this point...

But can I just keep it like that and not take it any further?

I've had to break contact with this person, as i've said earlier... so I can find out this truth....


but in the end, all I feel like so far is that i've broken yet another promise...


...one that may have burnt the final bridge...

~Max

.....I hope you're doing well... if you read this.

((copied via my note on facebook))