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Non-Sense Rambles
Usually, entries in my journals are rants on my own life. It is used to sort my own thoughts out. Go ahead and read. Just warning, depressing.
I Really Messed Up
Remember those poems you wrote for me few months back. I thought at that time, that our friendship would never work. It was at that time that I loved you, yet I hated you. I was confused...and reading that poem at the time made me feel like I was going nowhere. That that poem made it seem like we were tied together.... and it worried me.
I thought that our friendship was going to tie me down for the rest of my life.
I worried...
I searched for new friendships. I tried to split us apart.
My one best friend that I could trust, I lost her.
Now here I sit.... wondering what would've happened if I stayed friends with you.
If I still had a best friend.
When we went to DisneyLand, and I switched rooms... heck, today, I'm wondering if I stayed in the room with you, would I still be close with you and those other people? I changed so much.
I'm still changing, and I can tell you don't like it.
But, if I stayed with you, would we still be friends?
Closer then we are now.
Because frankly, I miss you more then anyone in that group. Those people can go screw themselves because they are self conceited bitches who care about no one else but themselves.
We were friends for so many years... we knew each others flaws, each others feelings and dreams and all. Yea. I'm rambling now.
Just go on reading now XD


I wonder. a lot. but if I mention you, you all know who you are.

And my ex-best friend, I'm sorry for everything I caused to you. Pain, whatnot. I don't know anymore. We don't talk besides for online and crap. I know my apology is starting to sound really insensitive now. But, know that I mean it. and I still have those poems you wrote for me so long ago. Don't believe me?
I have a lot of emails from long ago... not all, because I started to run out of space...
but. I have a lot of them.
Here's the poem. :]

Well, the first one is for Kory, but yea XD

When we were so young,
We played with no rules.
No laws, no limits, no iron walls.
No one told us, you can't do this
You can't do that.
But as we grew older, we were put on leashes.
We were pulled closer and closer away from the freedom we once
Took for granted.
Why is that?
Why must, with the responsiblilities of growing up,
Also come the dreaded leash?
Are we not to run free?
Must we always be stuck on this lifeline?
Are we not allowed to run free?

Yet another...

If I had a star in the night sky
for every time you made me feel special,
I would have a small galaxy.
If I had a star for every time you hurt my feelings,
I would have 3 or more stars.
If I had a star for every time when I knew I could count on you,
When I knew you were the best friend I might ever have in life,
I would have the entire universe.

For Sarah. and any one else who is my best friend.

I will never be able to express in words how glad
I am to have you for my best friend.
I never knew before I met you,
That some one so special as you would come along in my life.
I never knew I would have a friend to lift me up when I was down.
Never knew that I would have a shoulder like yours to cry on.
Never knew I could laugh so hard with some one.
Thanks for always being there.


ooooh. and remember this dream?
Our class went on a class trip to some place, and we stayed the night and crap like that. Some lady saw you and Kory hugging, so she decided to dress you up like a bride for a wedding XD And Kory dressed up like a groom. I was watching, and laughing the whole tme. Sorry, it was unintentional dream ...

So. There's my rant for now.
but, yea. The person who this is aimed for.
I know I bored you. You're tired of all my thoughts, my repetitiveness and all. So, hear me out, if you read this all, at least you know my thoughts on everything.





 
 
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