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And lo, there were words......
My musings, random insanity, and tidbits of nonsense, and sense...And every time someone reads one of my entries and doesn't leave a comment, THE TERRORISTS WIN.
I've never been one for New Year's resolutions, I figure anything worth resolving to do is worth doing immediately. BUT... I want to feel comfortable with my body, comfortable IN my body around other people, and not worry about anyone hating me for how I look. So now that I've survived the emotionally treacherous christmas season -_- ... I want to focus more on this goal of mine than I have been.

As I think to myself "well, what exactly IS the goal?" I'm realizing that that's kinda vague and unattainable...everyone is not always going to like how I look, in fact some people will probably hate me for no reason. But I don't want to give people more reason than their own prejudices. It's much easier to deal with those who like you than those who don't.

So I guess my goal is to just exercise more than I already do (which is already like, every day for maybe 30 minutes or so, depending) and build and tone the muscles in me so that I'm not...squishy, anywhere.

I think I'm kinda really overly sensitive about weight, I mean, I can see and realize how much I was affected by certain things when I was younger, I used to weigh almost 300 pounds, and growing up and going to school and having to deal with people seeing me, like just looking at me and instantly disliking me, or being actively cruel to me made me incredibly bitter in a lot of ways.

The day I saw someone that I'd never met before look at me and laugh, and saw hate and dislike in their eyes, and the only thing they knew about me was how I looked, I realized exactly how it must feel when someone hates you because you're black, or gay, or ANYTHING. I didn't choose to be fat growing up, my dumbass parent(s) chose to teach me incredibly stupid eating and exercise habits that I had to unlearn.

Aaaaanyway, guess I'm done ranting for now, perhaps I'll get some exercise.
/seriouscat time.
User Image
Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forest of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And, when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand and what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the lamb make thee?

Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

User Comments: [2] [add]
Chili Cheese Danish
Community Member
commentCommented on: Tue Dec 30, 2008 @ 02:58am
;D So much sexier then that Jared b***h.

commentCommented on: Tue Dec 30, 2008 @ 07:50pm
Well... Congrats on your resolution, and what you've achieved so far! I don't think you'll have much of a problem sticking to yours like I would to mine >.>
Hope you're a bit less stressed now and that things will swing your way! Oh and if you're interested/have an open mind/have time or envy, you should check out Donna Eden's work. You can find some videos on youtube (the Three Thumps) and/or her book "Alternative Energy Medicine" I think (it's yellow).
Good luck. xD

Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
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