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Read the most recent post for an explanation of my leaving.
I am a Gaia Terrorist.
This is a personal story, so it belongs in my journal, even if no one is going to read it.

I feel like a terrorist.
I feel like a Gaia Online terrorist.

When I joined Gaia, I was for all that was good and happy on Gaia.
I started out as a Q&Fer. I answered questions for unknowing Gaians.
I helped people.
Then the GCD opened up, and I found my home.
I flourished.
I was always happy. Always helping.
I was always creating lots of fun projects; some great, some failed.
Everything was sunshine and rainbows. Everything was paradise.

And then my father died.

I guess I changed.
I left Gaia for a while.
When I came back, it wasn't the same. I kept trying to tell myself that it was the same as always.
Maybe it was.
Maybe it was me that changed.


Things weren't sunshine and puppies anymore.
Things were darker.
Things are darker.


Maybe Gaia has changed. Well, the GCD. We're talking about the GCD here.
Maybe the GCD changed. A lot of other users seem to think so. But then again, weren't there always the complaints of the GCD going to crap?

So maybe the GCD didn't change, and what really changed was me. Maybe my views changed. It seems like I'm no longer for all that is good and happy on Gaia.
Now it seems I am for ruin.

But I'm not. I just want the good and happy and sunshine and puppies back.
But what I have become is... Something my avatar looks like.
Something evil, bitchy, and ready to battle. Maybe my avatar is a self-fufilling prophecy.


It's interesting, you know.
If I log into a mule whom I have an established character with, and then look at Zaeyde and her posts, I can't help but to see her as a cynical, jaded person.
I find myself arguing with her on these mules like she's someone I don't like.
I wouldn't like me if I met me.
Sad, isn't it?

But I've dug the hole so deep that it feels like it's not worth backing out now.
It feels like I can't go back. I'm in a game of Super Mario Bros, and I can't go back to the frame I've already passed. Just gotta plow on to the goal, even if it gets me killed.
Or banned.


So I guess I can't give up now. It's like going to war. I know I'll probably die, but I'll go down fighting for what I believe in. You know my life reflects my actions on Gaia a lot.
What happens to me next will probably represent my life.

But as long as I go down fighting for what I believe, it's worth it. In life, and on Gaia.

Hello, Gaia.
I am a terrorist.
But I mean you no harm.

Go figure.
PostPosted by: Zaeyde Mon Nov 24, 2008 @ 05:20pm



User Comments: [4] [add]
Reichiru Tomoe
 
Online
commentCommented on: Mon Nov 24, 2008 @ 09:32pm
The GCD, and Gaia as well, are always going to be changing. Sadly a lot of the recent changes haven't been for the best, but I think the best way to accomplish change is try and break the cycle the GCD is currently moving through. In the past people have thought this could be accomplished by rant threads or by cynical outcries, but for as many times as it has happened in the past, it never works.

Aside from the obvious reasons the GCD is having quality issues lately (too many subforums and other forums being created to take care of content we used to discuss), a big problem is how we deal with what we have. So many people have abandoned the GCD and refuse to come back until it is better. But they expect others to bring about that change.

Pleading with the current GCD isn't going to do anything. the current users in there think the format of the forum is how it should be. They aren't doing anything wrong because they really just don't know any better.

The plea should be going out to old GCDers that are hiding in guilds or lurking. A lot of them are also feeling like they've become cynical and jaded I think - myself included. They know what they want, but they don't DO anything about it. They want better quality topics? Then they should be making them. They don't want hit and run posting? Then they should set the example. I've been one of the guilty, especially after the fan thread fiasco in which I thought I would give up the GCD out of spite. But it doesn't really fix anything to do so.

So many people in the GCD expect the burden of fixing things to fall on the shoulders of a few people, but the only real way to bring about the change we need is for everyone to get off their asses and just do it. There doesn't need to be any organized movement or raid or cynical outcry attached. You shouldn't have to feel like the only way to get your point across is to look like a Gaian terrorist. Just post what you want to see and hopefully people will begin to follow and catch on. Its not flashy, its not easily recognized, but it's really the only way the GCD is ever going to be a quality forum again.

I know it's kind of like preaching to the choir since you already do make a lot of topics, but it was just my two cents on the subject.


commentCommented on: Tue Nov 25, 2008 @ 12:18am
Reichi pretty much said what I was going to post (which is good, because it's saved me a lot of time. icon_xd.gif )

The only way to get out of the rut the GCD is stuck in is to encourage the community as a whole to improve things. Users make a forum what it is, and if the users won't change or don't want to change then there isn't much anyone can do. The best way to improve the forum is to lead by example; if we all try to be more active, post topics that we would like to see rather than the stagnant and boring repeat topics, try to actively report misplaced threads and not encourage spammers and trolls, then probably things will change. It might be slow, but it's the only way it'll really get done.

I believe it'll happen someday. We'll get back to a GCD that's actually fun to post in and read. Although it doesn't help that there's not a huge amount to discuss right now except EI's..... icon_sweatdrop.gif



AngeIsThanatos
 
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Anardana
 
Offline
commentCommented on: Tue Nov 25, 2008 @ 01:07am
^_^ You write prettily. Also you always say things that I never realised I thought so strongly about until I read them.

I agree with you and will fight the good fight although I am making sure to reference everything I say now, so In a way I'm still wary of posting in the GCD. If I don't make sure to be as clinical as possible though then my rage starts to show.

I didn't spend three years studying arguing philosophy and get 15 thousand pounds worth of student debt to sit back and allow facalcies and hypocrisy to run rife disguised as logic. I may be an arrogant hypocritical b***h myself but I respect the inherent beauty of logic dammnit! icon_mad.gif


commentCommented on: Tue Nov 25, 2008 @ 06:43am
Wow.
I didn't know people were reading this until someone else was all, "The journal entry."
And I was all, "lolwut?"


Reichu: You're right. The old users left when they didn't see what they wanted to see. We should be calling to them. So let's call to them. Let's make (another) guild. (Someone else will have to pay. I'm broke.) Let's get these people together and discuss a peaceful way to do this.

You're right. Everyone is waiting for someone else to fix it, or thinking it's not their place to fix it. But it's our forum, so it's our job.
This is beyond lack of plot and spread out subforums, though they do play a part.
This is something more... More at the core, I guess.

I don't WANT to be a Terrorist.
I don't want to be a troublemaker.
But I've been feeling like I was the only one who was trying. I know that's not true, but that's what it felt like. Every friday I was pumping out 10 topics with good discussion.
The result? "Stop making repeat threads. Stop spamming the GCD."
But I kept doing it. And that started to make me feel like a rebel, I guess.
So when I invited all these people I was never associated with much before, and all of them got together and was like, RAH RAH LET'S DO IT!
I felt hopeful.
I felt like I wasn't the only one.
I felt like we needed to make a demonstration at that point to show that we were not happy with things.

And afterward, I felt like a terrorist.
I felt like a criminal.

But regardless of whether or not it was the right way to do it, what we did worked.
The problem is out in the open.
The wound is fresh, and now we have the chance to heal it, or just to let it turn into another ugly scar.




Angels: Ok. This needs to be done as a community. But the community never seems to get things done. We sit around and talk about it, but nothing happens. So we need a group of people who are going to ACTIVELY do this. Actively reform the GCD with the help of the community.
You're right.
But it shouldn't take FOREVER. This is something that should be done now. Or else it will turn into something that everyone knows they should do, but will do it later.



Anan: Thank you. That's part of writing. You don't know what you believe in until you write it down. It makes Gaia unique in this aspect, being a text based community.



Zaeyde
 
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User Comments: [4] [add]
 
 

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