My mother's best friend's husband's father died yesterday. IF that sentence is awkward, how much more is the motion- comforting someone I know with no knowledge of the man they were so close to! I suppose that's why I'm thinking about mortality, risk, and pain. That, and my worries about the economy. I was so afraid for my job I tried to be supernatural, so extremely good at what I had to do that they'd never drop me. I also gravitated toward sales, my preferred area, instead of the floorwork I'm doing. That could lose me my job. As my supervisor put it- though not in so many words- "This store is like a pie. Each person has their own slice to work with. WHne you jump from your own slice into sales, you not olny neglect your part of the pie but keep the salespeople from being able to do their job effectively- you encroach on their slice." I'm working to keep that in mind. ON the bright side, I came up with a makeshift holster for my cleaning supplies to carry them, and some good ideas abut how to organize my items so I can use my time wisely. They praised me for it- but I have three empty days of time.
The memorial service reminds me how disaster can strike at any time, but also that I need to try to live life to its fullest. "No man knows the day of his death." Is that why, sometimes, in myth, the longer-lived races envy humans- because, though we live such short lives, our spirits burn all the brighter for it?
I was afri8ad that the economy would get so bad that I might not be able to survive. But it's not the end of the world- it's just a beginning. I', m working now, and that struggle is new start for me. But how does my path wend? Where does it go? I do not know, and yet the path is up to me. Do I lead or follow? I suppose Life guides me as I do it... and we travel this world together. We shall cooperate.
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