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When I get like this, shutting people out is one of the few things I am good at. I may flail in the wind with other activities but this is when being lonesome shines its brightest.

I just finished watching "Charlie Bartlett" and "Muppets in Space" when my roommate Jaime brought over this guy friend. Denise is still out with the creepy music guy. I swear everyone that meets her wants to ******** her brains out. But hey, she is getting free Vodka from it and a dinner. He pays for everything. Top notch whore for you.

Like I said before, Tea Garden stay away.

I have been drawing more lately. It helps a bit. I drew a couple of my friends then my new avi for Sakura Takachi. I stopped drawing Chisai Yume, thankfully.

I have a lot of homework I am putting off right now because I don't want to sleep right now. I want to dance around like before. I know it won't erase the pain but it should help disallusion me. I've said it so many times that I don't want to disappear but it is exactly what is happening. I can't come up on school days and people think negatively about me because of that. At least I come down, not like you ever venture down here just to see me. Seriously, when was the last time someone did something big for me?

That's right, the only person who has every really done big things for me, my sister. What about the rest of you? Sure, some make big steps like forgiveness or accepting me although its hard but really are you the one making the first move? Big Things require you to make the first move with just that other person in mind.

I think back to my birthdays and ask if anyone really did anything speical like friendship trinkets or anything. It seems like everything is just a follow up of whatever I have done. Am I a hard act to follow?

The most heart warming moments I can remember are; when Tea Garden wrote/drew me a letter cause I was mad at her, Magical Unicorn hanging out, holding the Lark, magical villa moment, the Dragon's laughter, Being at ink case's house, talking Lark through her key, lion always encouraging my drawing, and trinket givings.