While the sky has no rain, my heart is full of its own rain ready to pour out. I have done a great job pouring it out little by little. Soon I should be empty once again. I was caught unprepared though today. I received a letter from my Aunt.
Sometimes I need to say things even though they are only fleeting or half assed. Otherwise, I get in trouble. There is no way to stay completely true to myself anymore. I am protecting myself as one of the most important parts of life.
Singing was my instrument to help myself but my voice is unstable right now. I cannot even sing "Moon on Water." I kills me inside everytime I fail. I want to fling open the windows and burst into song so I will feel better inside. I want to sing around the school and as I dance around in the elevator. I need my song but there is something forbidden in there right now. Not only is there my sickness but something else. Something dark. My battle shall begin soon. I am ready.
It's times like these that I see how actually important I am to my closest friends. There are those that try to keep up with me and others that are unknowingly running a hidden path.
I am tired of being patient. Patience, patience patience. Nothing changes except the time. WHY! WHY! WHY!
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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