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Looking back through all these posts, heh, most of them are really depressing. it kinda sickens me that i was that weak. but, then i realize that i really haven't changed those thoughts. i just have more to it now. I have always had friends close to me. the problem was that i wouldn't even let them close. everyone has enemies. i was just so detached that i couldn't see anyone elses. everyone has problems. i was just too stupid to figure out that i was the only one making mine obvious. everyone has something they hold dear. i was just too stupid to realize that trying to replace it with inanimate objects in order to avoid the pain of loss... was the stupidest thing in the world. being who i am, when i make a promise, i usually have to hold it, no matter how much i want to break it, not just because my moral code tells me to. because, by my moral codes, i wouldn't be a lot of things. the reason i try so hard to keep promises is because i feel like i failed again when i don't. heh heh. Not really sure where i'm trying to go with all this. don't really want another, "this is who i am" type of entry... well whatever rolleyes the Apocalypse has come... and it brought cake mrgreen