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I give up. So long, Angel of Music.
I just don't understand.
Ame, who I called the Angel of Music... I loved her, and thought that she truly loved me as well. We went 18 months this way, and through whatever hardship we faced, we managed to overcome it. Looking back at all of that, I'm surprised we lasted as long as we did. For a while, everything seemed perfect.
But when we hit our 18 month milestone, she suddenly vanished without a trace. Nothing on her Gaia avi, not responding to emails, not answering my calls. It makes me wonder... Has she found someone else? Was I ever the only one in her world?
Now I realize how stupid I was... Completely trusting this stranger across the country. Blind faith in what I couldn't see. Those 18 months seem almost like a dream now... No, more like a religion. Hiding a part of my life that I refused to see for what it was. A lie.
So, what would you think if it happened to you? How would you react, if the most important person in your life suddenly disappeared and completely ignored you? Well, here's my answer. I feel rejected, ignored, and somewhat unwanted. I also feel hate. How could someone be so cruel, to crush the person that loved and depended on them like I depended on her...?
Ame, Rain, Nyki, or whatever you choose to call yourself now... If you happen to read this... I just want you to know that I truly loved you, and I missed you. I still have a lot I'd like to say to you, but chances are, I'll never be able to. So, whatever you're doing now, and whoever you're with... I only wish that you'll be better to them than you were to me. Goodbye, and good riddance. I need to wake up from this dream and move on. All that's left to say is farewell, Angel of Music.
~KS
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