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Lone Vampire, Azrael
This journal may be Gaia related, but since I'm on Gaia more than anything now, I'm going to use it as a personal blog. If something offends you, well... That's your problem. This is my life.
The world is filled with whores. Nothing more than a bunch of stupid ******** whores. Ok, me and Chris are finaly broken up and everything, I left him for the last time. Well, I figured out now, that he really was cheating on me. Just not who I expected it to be. He's now obviously with Kyotako, who he's been flirting with ever since we'd been together. Said that there was nothing between them, that they were just best friends. Well... Now they're obviously alot more. Before, he told me that who he was with now makes him feel wanted, and loved. You know, it really pisses me off. You'd think a woman who FOUGHT to keep the relationship alive, dispite how much she hurt, who always told him how much she thought of him when he was down on himself... Who gave up everything she enjoyed for him, because he asked her to, who ******** even when she didn't want to ********, would make him feel loved, right? Well, I guess I was wrong. A little ******** skank who'd give it to him even when he had a girlfriend, makes him feel loved. A little ******** whore who needs to rot in hell, makes him feel loved... But then again, since when has Chris been interested in someone who isn't a whore? Hell, even I'm a reformed whore.... Damn it.. Damn it all. I just don't understand why this is affecting me so much. I SHOULDN'T CARE!!!!!! I SHOULDN'T GIVE A DAMN, NOT ONE BIT. But I do. I ******** hate it. And I love him... As much as I know I shouldn't, as good as I feel since we've been apart... As happy as I could be with someone else if I so let it happen... I didn't let him push me for no reason. I didn't let him hurt me so many times for no reason. I didn't hurt myself for him so many times, for no reason... I love that a*****e... and I'm jealous. He's with the woman he'd been cheating on me with, and I'm JEALOUS... what... the hell...? Why am I jealous? I shouldn't care. I shouldn't care at all. But instead, I sit here and I cry. There's... deffinately something wrong, and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know to make it stop, and I don't know how to make myself feel better. I don't know what to do... Anyone have any suggestions?





Lady Ifrit
Community Member
  • 09/26/10 to 09/19/10 (1)
  • 09/18/05 to 09/11/05 (1)
  • 08/28/05 to 08/21/05 (2)
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