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TheJade's Journal
Masks
MASKS

Everyone has one, a mask, that is. It's so easy to have one, yet, when it cracks, people begin to look dangerous.

Masks are to protect other people or protect ourselves.

My mask? It's 2-way. I have a mask that protects myself from others' jealous, hate, envy, pessimism, negativity, and downright rudeness. The other side of my mask is to protect others from myself.

You see, I have a volatile anger, but hardly anyone sees it because I don't put myself into situations where I can truly become a monster. In all honesty, my mask has a name.

Jade.

She is hostile, short-tempered, and gives no regard to others. There is nothing more of her than an aura of negativity and destruction. She's come out during basketball games. The end result was always the opponent getting hurt and my body becoming a human bulldozer to anyone, and I mean, anyone. Everything about me changes once my mask begins to falter.

When the mask is up, I am seen as sweet, outgoing, energetic, fun, and caring person. It's rather funny, because I don't really care about others that much. I just understand what its like to be beaten down without anyone to extend a friendly hand out. Still, that side of me exists. It's really dark and dangerous, and in all honesty, I never know what the Jade side of me would do in certain situations.

And it doesn't help that I have a high IQ. Sometimes, I think I'm a borderline psychopath because I have all the symptoms: high intelligence, charming, good looking, and imposing to a certain degree. Yet, I would do anything for others... Maybe just schizonphrenic then, minus the craziness and the hallucinations and evil aliens...

But masks are there. They crack sometimes, but I hold back just to keep from hurting someone's feelings and whatnot. I was always a push-over when I was younger, but now that I know the mask is there, a lot of what's behind the mask has come to the forefront. Still...I'm still afraid of what's beneath the mask.





 
 
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