Amaldia
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Confusion....
Dear Diary....

Everyting seems to be weird now a days.... I've been confused for the past few days, and had finally managed to get out of my depression state from the previous months. Well, now I'm watching myself slip back into that state and don't know what to do and refuse to do anything about it.... As, it may mess me up even more.... I may try to do something, but that won't be til early December that I try to 'force' myself out of this state until Christmas at least.... I don't know though..... My hormones currently are winning this long overdue war that's been going on for decades, or so it seems... I'm so fragile and broken, that part of me believes that I can't be fixed.........................
Nobody would notice if I left.... I continue to feel that way.... I wish deeply to stop hurting, to end this stupid pain of losing the only thing that kept me here in the first place. I know all these wonderful things about myself, and I acknowledge them, but I still don't understand them...... as they haven't sunk in fully yet....... Gah, I really want to stop this pain, but I don't know exactly how.... except for death.... I don't know.... I'm so confused and hurt, that I don't even know what's going on anymore....... Anyhow, if I ever remember about you, I'll write back, but if not, do not worry, I'll be in such a bad state that you wouldn't remember me anyways....
Until we meet again,

Tashee