Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

*chapter one~~2 deceits*
I’ve always been able to do and see things that other people couldn’t. I never really understood it. Things would just happen and I wouldn’t be able to control. Sometimes I would be able to will something to happen when I wanted, but I could never control it. To others, I was always the weird child, the one unlike the rest. I got used to the nicknames I was called behind my back. So when someone said Devil’s Spawn or She-demon, I would turn away and act like I had never heard. That was before I was old enough to go to school.
When I did start school, I kept my powers to myself. I wanted to be able to make friends, be a shining star in school. I soon had a best friend. Allison. I felt as if we were sisters, that I could tell her everything and it wouldn’t matter. After all, she was more understanding and much nicer than most. And so, I told her my secret. She believed me, said that she was also special in that way. It was our own little secret that set us apart from the others. I was absolutely thrilled. I wasn’t the only one who could do things. But then one day, I find out that she had always felt that it was just a game. My happiness blew up in my face. It hurt so much.
After that, it was difficult to make friends with someone and trust them. It became hard to trust anyone at all. And especially hard to accept myself for who I really am. But it was not the only time that I was hurt by someone I thought I could trust.
Later on, in sixth grade, I told my friend Rebecca about myself. As soon as I told her, I new it had been a bad idea. She was completely freaked. I talked her into a calm, begged her not to tell anyone. She asked me questions. Stupidly, I had answered them all truthfully. She asked if I was like a witch or something. Back then, I had thought of a witch as some very ugly lady with green skin and warts all over. And so I told her that I was kind of like one, only a good one without the bad skin and warts.
A week later, everyone in the school would taunt and jeer at me. It wasn’t like it was a small school either. It was a middle and high school, holding 1300 students and 43 teachers. I could not understand why this was happening. Finally I asked one kid why he was being an a**. His reply was, ‘Ooo. Little witchy’s getting mad. What, you gonna put a spell on me?’
Then I new that Rebecca had told. She had told everyone. I couldn’t believe how stupid I had been to tell her. I should’ve known that no one would have been able to understand. I had run to the bathroom and cried and cried. I refused to leave until the end of the school day. The next day, I told everyone that it was a lie. That I had just been joking. I knew that no one believed it, but they didn’t question. But I closed up completely to the world. I had learned that what I could do, no matter if it help people, was perceived as evil. I vowed to never use my powers, except when needed in order to help someone or something in danger. That is when I started to live with life as a fear of people finding out. I now live a life as fear.