oh well this me being a blog-freak again... i just feel like posting here before i go and hit the sack...
well i just want to share my sentiments... i guess it was yesterday that someone (EX) sent me a message... which is very unusual,,, i was actually not expecting to hear from that someone anymore...
he sent me this message:
if this lifetime is not meant for us,
then i'll try to live another life to find you again.
perhaps, in that time,
we will be free to love each other,
build dreams together,
cry in struggles and pains,
and laugh in happiness and joy...
in another lifetime...
i dont know how to react to it... lol its the first time that im lost for words... maybe because that i dont want to assume things, do i really have to interpret this and find the real meaning of that message? is it just a forwarded message or is it just a line from a movie or somewhere... i dont want to over analyze the message...
but in my mind things are interpreted way differently hahaha... like "well you had your chance" "you lost someone, big time" "you'll never ever find someone like me" hahaha those are just some of my thoughts... well its natural to think that way because it made me feel better...
well i think (just my POV people) those who regret a broken relationships are the one's who didnt exert enough effort, or they are who did stupid things,,, where in the result is the end of the relationship... well im not regretting any so what does that make me??? hahaha just kidding... as they say,,, "you wont realize what you lost until its gone"...
anyway while thinking and compartmentalizing my life a while ago... i cant help but to feel sad... i cant really discern why should i feel sad... its just that i should feel sad (adik lang)... if theres one thing im good at,,, its self pity lol... my mom can even vouch for that...
so while thinking again... im forcing myself to cry... maybe if i cried my heart out, i'll prolly know the reason why i should feel sad...
and so after 30 minutes not a single tear drop yet... well i had the almost tear drop... when the tear is still in your eye and isnt dropping yet lol... so i decided that i should just continue my crying moment in the bathroom... while on my way to the bathroom im avoiding direct eye contact with my dad and bro... they might get worried and convinced theirselves that im really an addict... and i dont want that hahaha...
so i was there in the bathroom standing naked,,, while the water is gushing from my head to toe... and i concentrated and force myself to cry for the nth time... sigh not single tear drop yet...
the saddest part is
i realize that its effing hard to cry
when the water from the shower starts gushing in your eye...
argh!!!
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