I never thought a first kiss could be any other way than the way I had pictured it for so long. I refused to play spin the bottle during my middle-school years. I felt that, to kiss a boy I didn't care about was so foolish, and anyway, I was way to mature for that stuff.
I went through a period of denial at around 13 years old because I was still a virgin to kissing. In my eyes, no boy liked me since they were all five inches shorter and 20 pounds less than I was. Except that one boy.
He was my older cousin’s friend and I had known him from the age of about 11. He was a year older than me and completely off limits to me simply because he was my cousin’s best friend. But, I couldn’t shake that butterfly feeling I got in my stomach every time I went to my family’s house and saw him there. He was an extremely good athlete. Oh yeah, and he liked me. A boy actually liked me! When I found out that he had a crush on me, I was completely amazed and could not fathom it.
Slowly, however, I took the first step and told my cousin how I felt about him. A week later, I was on my first date. From that moment on, all I thought about was how magical I would make our first kiss be. That is why, when my birthday arrived and we went to a hockey game to see some friends, I knew it would be perfect.
My nerves that whole night were on edge and I couldn't believe that tonight was going to be the night my life would change forever! The whole night, I imagined when he would pull a move and kiss me. So, when we were waiting for his father to pick him up and his friend was outside with him, my hopes began to skyrocket and I almost cried from the adrenaline rush. When his dad arrived and he pulled me in for a hug, I immediately pulled away, and out of shear disparity shot, "Aren't ya’ gonna’ kiss me?" Oh, the humility of letting him know how much I wanted it. And to have the audacity to say something so forthright and point blank made me want to crawl under a rock and whither away! But, to my astonishment it worked! He smiled and moved in, and I suddenly realized that didn't know how to kiss a boy. This thought wouldn’t have been so bad if I had known he had never kissed a girl, but I knew he was way more experienced than me, and I was just doomed for failure. The unfortunate part was that I was correct. As soon as his lips touched mine, I felt a tongue shoot out and plunge into my mouth. I had no idea how to react, but as soon as that happened, my eyes shot open and I saw my best friend, her boyfriend, his friend and his dad all looking straight at me! I tried to move my tongue around or move a lip, but it was too late. He stepped back, gave me a smile and said good-bye. I sat there dumb-founded and mortified without a doubt that our relationship was now over due to lack of experience.
I did kiss again, but my fist kiss was now over forever and all I could do was learn. I could never re-do that kiss or try again. That was the first one and that was that. My dreams of a picture perfect kiss were over forever, but the imperfections of that kiss, to me, are what made that night a night to remember. I would not change what happened or wish it another way because after the fact, it was pretty funny and maybe someday, I can tell this story to another girl who’s waiting, patiently, and imagining a magical kiss
nastashia11 Community Member 
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