,,What is life? What is it to me?Some times I ask myself why do I even bother continuing it for it is like my private Hell sometimes...Thorns of roses ripe the skin of my soul and let it hang numb from them while unbloomed they are and still wilted petals are falling down and I wonder what color these unbloomed roses are: are they crimson? Are they dark red? are they pink or perhaps blue? Or maybe they do not have color and are black, white or gray?! I wonder how is Hell and how is heaven, are they really like they are portrayed Is Hell really burning in fire or is it freezing up the dead? I heaven really a place were you have all that you love? Is Hell a place of isolation and Heaven a place where you are never alone, never deprived of friends? I do not know and how should I when I don't remember of ever being in neither place? And I must confess one thing if in Hell I'll be forever lonely and left alone in a dim, dark, little room or even box or possibly bottle I shall welcome it because I don't have anything against being alone, and when I think that back then when I was small I was actually afraid of being left alone at home, and I welcome it, the solitude that some say is a torture in Hell, for when I am alone I don't have to tell anyone anything and I can be left alone in pace, and if in Heaven I shall never be alone I do not know I shall feel, I do not mind talking to others but some times I just simply want to lay alone all forgotten... if you end up in Hell and are there tortured it is because you have sinned and done much wrong, if you burn or freeze in Hell maybe if you burn in flames or in magma or maybe even acid then blades colder that the coldest ice will strike on burning skin dipped in fire and magma or who knows even acid, and maybe burning fire blazing instruments will strike you is your frozen self... I Hell you are tortured because you have done bad but in life you may suffer because you are to soft, different or taken as dumb if you are nice...Why do I live? I ask myself, Why do I continue this path in life? Why do I just not simply die? Why does death, if angel, if demon, if entity if phenomenon, if force not grasp me and lead me out of life? Why am I still living when I see no reason to do it? But I think I know why...maybe that the most may hate me, may they want only to torture me because I am not trying to be bad, I know that there are people that would morn If I will die of sliced rises and for they I will keep living even if I wish for death, and besides I am afraid of death...I do not want to make others feel bad and at least in this Hell of mine I have my portion of hope and happiness..."
If you read this, please tell me what you think, O.K.?
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