Oh dear this university stuff is really starting to worry me. whats supposed to happen is;
I wake up and check online and see my offers have changed from "conditional" to "unconditional" Then get my results and feel happy an prepare for moving out.
I checked online no change I get my results and there average a wee bit lower than I wanted. then checked again my insurance offer has changed from "conditional" to "unsuccessful" and my Main offer doesn't change. This is serious I need to know if Essex have rejected me so I can get into clearing quickly. Or was I accepted.
Anyway this combined with all the other stresses in past few months collimated with me fainting. When I get depressed my Melatonin, Seratonin & Dopamine drop dangerously low Meaning I get (Narcolepsy Anxiety & Spasms) Respectively.
I was gone for several hours. (out for 2-5hours) still no response. I had a very introspective dream/nightmare while passed out tho.
involved me begin upset about how rubbish I am and someone trying to talk me out of it sadly they were totally ignorant and slapping me across the face eventually. As a result I went silent and lay down somewhere and stared catatonically. But I think it articulated my worries and feelings perfectly.
Nobody wants a Technician who can't fix a computer.
Nobody wants a girlfriend who can't make her boyfriend smile.
Nobody wants a student who can't get into university.
Nobody wants a daughter who can't get a good job.
Nobody wants a artist who can only draw s**t.
Nobody wants a friend who's impossible to find.
Nobody wants a biologist who can't answer a simple question.
Nobody wants a girl who's imposable to see.
I'm Just some kind of sick paradoxical joke. A cluster of labels with no factual substance in real life Sequestering others opinions of her for emotional sustenance. To try and supplant this massive void.
My ability to draw appears to have failed all together currently, As has my ability to help in C&T I've been trying to help but I just... can't...
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