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To tired to think.
Puppeteer........
As some of you may know, I HATE PUPPETS.
But I had to think of a description for an avi I had entered into the arena.
(It won by the way, first place for the week of 26 2007.)

So I made a poem (even tho, yes, I hate poetry).


Puppeteer, puppeteer, don't you love me anymore?
Puppeteer,puppeteer, you don't work on me anymore
Puppeteer, puppeteer, you don't play with me anymore.
Puppeteer, puppeteer, I simply HATE you anymore.
Puppeteer, puppeteer, I swear I'll kill you anymore.
Puppeteer, puppeteer, your hearts beating a lot more.
Puppeteer, puppeteer, your screaming a lot more.
Puppeteer, puppeteer, are you scared of me anymore?
Puppeteer, puppeteer, ALL I FEEL IS HATE ANYMORE.
Puppeteer, puppeteer, your crying a lot more.
Puppeteer, puppeteer, your bleeding a lot more.
Puppeteer, puppeteer, your lifeless anymore.
Puppeteer, puppeteer, you should have played with me more.

Well what do you think?
PostPosted by: Mister Heartless Sun Jun 24, 2007 @ 04:50am



User Comments: [18]
Flamecheetah



 
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Sun Jun 24, 2007 @ 07:56pm


Light the puppets on fire, yes?
-Strawberry-Gashes-89



 
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Sun Jun 24, 2007 @ 08:01pm


Its really good ^_^ icon_heart.gif
Mister Heartless



 
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Fri Jun 29, 2007 @ 08:01am


-Points to the two puppets-
You two!!!
OUT!!!!
-points to the sign-
Giullare Del Serpente



 
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Mon Jul 02, 2007 @ 03:56am


Comedy: D< ******** no! Make me! -hisses-

Tragedy: -_- If you want us out, I shall leave.

-hands upon her temples rubbing- Why must you be such an idiot Comedy....
prettycaity2



 
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Mon Jul 02, 2007 @ 02:23pm


that was awsome ur a good writer icon_blaugh.gif
Mister Heartless



 
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Mon Jul 02, 2007 @ 10:32pm


-Pops comedy into the shadow plane-
There I did make you!

And as for you....Tragedy, you can stay....so long as you don't act like all her other puppets.
Deathgod Soi Fong



 
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Tue Jul 03, 2007 @ 03:15am


I think its amazing...yes I know I'm not in your friends list and that this will be the first you have ever heard of me but I decided to comment anyway. Nice avi in the arena btw and good poem.
The Hell Puppet



 
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Tue Jul 03, 2007 @ 06:37pm



wow....
Sasori my puppet



 
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Fri Jul 06, 2007 @ 11:23pm


i liked i have sum poems in mine...LOVE PUPPETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
XxTizzy-ChanxX



 
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Mon Jul 09, 2007 @ 12:06am


~~~~~~~Why doiz you hateds me,




Tiz good, but, some of da parts doiz not makes sense, but, overall tiz good!




Tiz only destroyes your country~~~~~~~
XxTizzy-ChanxX



 
Offline
Mon Jul 09, 2007 @ 12:21am


~~~~~~~Why doiz you hateds me,




How did you makes or gets that pic with your avi with a reflection of it in tiz water? You're siggy is cute! KAWAII!




Tiz only destroyes your country~~~~~~~
XxGlory-HaruxX



 
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Mon Jul 09, 2007 @ 07:28am


it's nice
kairiku_riku_sora



 
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Mon Jul 09, 2007 @ 04:50pm


I luff it. You deverved to win, ja!!! >w< I think you rocked, yes yes. congrats, congrats! i'd donate to you're want list, buuuut. -pulls out pokets, moths fly out- no moneys for me. >.>
lizkapko



 
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Thu Jul 26, 2007 @ 02:02am


awesome
Jay Slaughter



 
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Tue Sep 18, 2007 @ 09:36pm


you don't want to anger Justice...


Hmm...This poem seems rather familiar......Ah yes you nearly chewed my head off when you wrote it. Hehe, still its rather good.



...for she basically killed all of japan
Fredegund



 
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Sat Dec 01, 2007 @ 12:30am


I don't think some of the sentences make too much sense. Like the, "I simply hate you anymore."

The "anymore" just doesn't fit there, and makes it read like you just couldn't think of a different sentence to tack the word onto, you know? And some of your grammar needs work.

Like in the sentence, "Your screaming a lot more."

That your should be you're. 'Your' is possessive, while 'you're' is the conjunction of 'you are.' You have a lot of those same mistakes. I don't know if it was intentional, so I thought I'd point it out just in case.

It might seem like a little thing, but the little things can sometimes mean the difference between an awesome poem and just an okay one.

I like how the 'puppeteer' is repeated. Some people don't like things repeated so often, but I happen to be one of those people who needs something said over and over again for me to grasp the significance of the word. I hate how people complain when things are repeated, even though repetition is a key component of writing poetry.

Anyway. Nice poem, but it could use some work. Congratulations on winning in the arena! Your avatar deserved it.
Mister Heartless



 
Offline
Sat Dec 01, 2007 @ 04:17am


If anything can be stolen...
o.o
Holy grammar nazi batman.
xD
Kidding my friend.

Well for one, thank you for your kind words.

Second of all, the anymore in "I simply hate you anymore" I find to really fit.
Being that the anymore in that would be the same as saying "As of late", get it?

Third being I wrote this a few months ago, before I really even cared about grammar.
I still don't really care, but I do see a better use for it.
But even now, I won't change the poem, being that it won as it.
Grammatical errors and all.
xD

...then what makes you feel safe?
User Comments: [18]
 
 

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