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My Soul...
This journal is my soul. Please respect it. -bows- Thank you. I have another journal. It's on my Kiri-Ookami account. ((Don't expect very many up-dates for that one.)) I'll up-date this one when I feel like it.
Thank you, I'll never forget you... Goodbye.
Meurix, Luis...
My allies, my friends, my loves...

Luis, you told me you loved me, and you waited for me. You waited so long, but my promise to you can never be met. I didn't have the money, so you got more in a way that may have been considered illegal. I wasn't strong enough, so you helped me the same way that I helped you when we first met. But I was never able to get to the place that I needed to be for me to keep my promise. I'm sorrys. You loved me, but it would have been wrong for me to keep my promise. I was young. Too young. You must have forgotten me by now. It's for the best. I'd die if you ended up the same way as Chris. Now I've done it again. I've caused another person to go insane. This may seem like a horrible thing to say, but I'm glad that I broke my promise to you, because if I hadn't, you might have turned out the same way. Forgive me and my idiocy. I miss you, and I'll never forget you. Thank you for everything.

Meurix. I can't even remember if that is how to spell your name. Isn't that horrible of me? I never knew the real you. I wish I had. But I'm glad I didn't. I would have hurt you, too, even more than I did when you learned of my promise to Luis. But despite that, you still loved me, and you still refused to loose me. You left my world, but still stayed by my side. Your father even told me that you talked about me all the time. He knew that you loved me. But now, like Luis, you have probably forgotten me. Good. I'd die if you ended up like Chris, too. Please, I hope that you will forgive me, also. Thank you, I miss you, and I'll never forget you.

You both loved me at the same time. Luis got to me first, so I made that promise with him. But even if Meurix had gotten to me before Luis, I think the outcome would have been the same. It would have been terribly wrong if I had returned your feelings. It is only now, four years later, that I can say that I understand. I understand now, and I realize that I was stupid in taking those actions. I wonder if you would still love me if you could see me now? Probably not. I am no longer the sweet, innocent girl that helped everybody in need. I wish that I could go back to being like that. But in a way, I don't, because it would cause many more to be hurt over me. I know that the chances of either of you reading this are absolute zero, but maybe, if I wish hard enough, I can get you to forgive me. Luis, Meurix. We've fought together, trained together, and traveled together. I'll never forget that. Or you. I'll never forget you. I never had the chance to say goodbye, and if I could go back in time to tell you, I would. But I can't. So I'll say it now. Goodbye, my friends, thank you, and I'm sorrys. So very sorrys.





 
 
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