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Yoko My Winter Fox Mink
my god damn life! (plz read and comment peoplez...)
*sigh* i'm sick... i've been sick the past 2 days smilies/icon_crying.gif and on mon. i leave for grade 7 camp smilies/icon_crying.gif i hope i'm good by then... truth is ... i'm sorta scared to go... i've been scared to go any where to far from home ... cause i'm scared i'll come bak and i won't b there... i keep havin these dreams too... where everythings perfect ... but then i try talkin to someone but they can't hear me... they can't c me... i'm gone ... invisible... things are pretty much as bad as they could get for me right now... i changed schools jan. 16th ^_^ i'm realy popular now ^_^ a girl even got green streaks put in her hair like me lol (but hers were a bit farther bak...) i'm even friends with the girlyish girls... they aren't as bad as the ones at my old school... well ... they aren't as mean and as slutty... but k.. a few have their belly buttons piericed... and they some times partaily lift up their shirts to show their friends but they don't do it when everyones watchin... they talk to my quit often ^_^ ... i'm friends with a few of the guys ^_^ ... but one... me and him could probly b more... but i'm not willing to sacrifice our friendship for love... incase something goes wrong...i've been livin in the same house for 4 years now... i move everyother year so.. i pushed everyone away... i didn't make friends... i became a total outcast... but i didn't move... i stayed... i was told we would stay but never bielived them... i lived with out friends for the 3 years and sumthin months... i was so lonely and sad... but most of all ... i was filled with hate... i desided to change my way of life cause i finaly bielived we wern't moving ... i transfered to a new school ... on jan. 15th in the morning i went to my new school and met the counceler the principal and my new teacher... they asked me a few questions... then... they told me... u can start tommorow and i was so happy ^_^ i ditched me loneliness and sadness and went to my new school ^_^ i was unable to discard my hate though... it's something that will probly never leave me ... espesialy now... me and my friends were lookin forward to goin to highschool together next year... we chose our classes and stuff.. cause we all had a few diff classes we wanted to take we talked bout how we would hang at lunch and after school and things ^_^ we talked bout grade 7 camp too... ^_^ we were all lookin forward to it... and of course grade 7 grad... the theme is black and white ... i'm friends with alot of people... the girls that have fun do there best at their school work... the so called goths ... most of the guys... a few of the more girlyish girls... ^_^ me and my so called goth friends are lookin forward to the grade cause we can wear black and not b called goth ^_^ ... even though we sorta are... i duno lol ... everything was perfect... if only i hadn't been betaryed again... my mom is purposly tryin to get me to comit suicide... everyother year i move... because i have friends... i finaly don't move and thats when i have no friends ... then i make friends and we move again... my family hates me... my mom couldn't care less about me... my aunt had a kid in december... she anounced she was pregnant at my family b-day dinner last year... my grandma never cared that much about me... but now she doesn't care about me at all... she only cares about my stupid cousin ... my grandpa has been really nice to me... but he's lossing intrest in me... because i'm not what he wanted... my dad left before i was born... he never wanted me... when i was 1 he aparently sent me gifts and probly some money to help my mom out... but then he stoped... heh... he's probly got another family of his own now... probly forgot about me... every one else has... and now my new friends will too... school ends june 28th.... i move on june 29th.... again i say goodbye to everything i love... my mom is never home... she goes out and doesn't normaly come bak till like 3 in the morning... i've barly been eating cause there's no food here... and cause i'm home alone... cause no ones around... i break down... i start balling my eyes out.... it happens everytime i'm alone for to long... i can't control it... i sometimes will cry for an hour long ... when i start cryin i just pick up all my stuff and go to my room and wait for me to fall asleep... my soul is desintergrating... and nothing seems to stop it... i keep begging my mom to stay here (like not move... yeah...) and i begged my grandparents to combine money with my mom so we can keep the house... but aparently we don't have enough... they all probly spent their money on my aunt and cousin... i was a mistake.... they messed up ... so they're all starting over... they're gona try and make my cousin the child grandchild and niece they never got.... my life is slowly sliping though my fingers... and i can't do anything but watch...

Fox Mink
Community Member
  • [06/03/07 05:50am]
  • [05/30/07 10:26pm]
  • [02/10/07 07:31pm]
  • [10/15/06 04:10am]
  • [07/09/06 03:23am]


  • User Comments: [2]
    Wow thats really sad smilies/icon_crying.gif

    comment -Lost Cause69- · Community Member · Tue Jun 05, 2007 @ 01:28am
    Don't worry I won't forget you. you know you're always welcome at my house. you can call whenever you like.
    Im not goth! smilies/burning_eyes.gif

    comment Lupus Umbra · Community Member · Tue Jun 26, 2007 @ 01:10am
    User Comments: [2]

     
     
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