[META-PRP] Just so you know (Muerte & Aprife)

[Melancholies]

"First, we need to consider the sort of persona you'll be adopting. It needs to be something unassuming. We're going to need you to be as lowkey as possible." He looked up at Aprife again, studying him, his face screwed up in an expression that said 'which will mostly be impossible'. "Although, I suppose there is something to be said about hiding in plain sight. You can't really jive with the 'considerate lowblood' look either. Just look at you. You're covered in scars."

He made a frustrated sound.

"No matter the scenario I conjure up, you always end up looking like a sleazy b*****d. You did this to yourself. Thank god I'm here to remedy this." He was pacing around until his feet decided to lead him back to his lab. "You're going to love birds. Get into character. Tell me how much you love birds."

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

"At least my look matches my personality," Aprife said casually as he followed Muerte to the lab, "Sleazy b*****d is pretty accurate, isn't it? Though... you of all people know I can lie with the best of them." That, likely above all else, would play a critical role in staying on the down low.

Now was as good a time as any to practice, he supposed. Let Muerte craft him a persona, he'd prove he could pull it off. The thought made him grin.

"I love birds almost as much as I love the evenings I spend feeding them with you." Was this character still supposed to be matesprits with Muerte's?

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Muerte squinted.

"No, no, I was asking how much you love birds, not your evenings with me." He sighed dramatically, "You can't use that line in public! If someone sees you broadside with all your bird paraphernalia, and they observe the fact that you love birds and then call you out on it, you can't just say "ah yes I love birds, almost as much as I love my hivemate that you've never met because he belongs to a defected rebel organization". That's how you get killed Aprife. Killed."

He huffed.

"Perhaps you should have a different obsession than birds. Something more reptilian..."

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

"I'm pretty sure it still counts." Aprife folded his arms over his chest, leaning his weight onto one leg. "It's casual, relatable. Trolls like that sort of thing." Why exactly he needed an animal obsession in the first place was anyone's guess. "Reptiles are fine, too, but you better pick one before I start getting a complex."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"Alright then, since you're so well versed in troll relations, please, enlighten me." Muerte folded his arms with a huff, "We're definitely going with reptiles now. You even look like a lizard." The problem was that lizards--reptiles--weren't necessarily associated with 'approachable'. Usually that was reserved for mammals, soft things, fluffy things. Aprife had a lot of hair, but it wasn't exactly fluffy or soft.

"Gerbils. It's either lizards or gerbils Invasi."

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

"I'm just saying," he defended himself, a small quirk to his lips. "It's easy to schmooze when you've got something in common. Not everyone likes birds, but almost everyone has a friend or lover or someone they wouldn't mind bragging about. If they get excited about whatever the hell it is, they spill so much more than they usually planned."

Weirdly enough, Aprife looked almost wistfully pleased about the idea of conning unwary trolls out of their personal details. The whole looking like a lizard thing didn't bother him at all, either. It was kinda true.

"Gerbils have been getting pretty popular lately, though."

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

Muerte considered this, "Very well, I'll admit you have a point. However, it's also crucial that your story have a mark of intrigue, something to keep the trolls drawn to you, talking. But I suppose that's where being a sleazy b*****d comes in."

He nodded.

"Very well, we're using gerbils. Maybe you're riding a trend, but you've put forth immense effort into it as a hobby. This is your moment to shine, etcetera. Common ground, approachable, someone with a great amount of dignity so no one messes with you..." He nodded slowly to himself, "It's no use. We're going to have to acquire plushies. I craftsman I am not, but I'll have you know I'm nimble with a needle Invasi. Nimble." He wiggled his fingers, All nine of them. His nine, nimble fingers.

Which well, he was if they were the type of needle that went through flesh.

saedusk

 

[saedusk]

"I might have to borrow a few books on gerbils, then." Someone in the swamp would have one, he was sure of that. The trend was just too popular. "Plushies, though? How am I supposed to carry those into space with me?" Not to burst the greenblood's bubble, but...

"I don't doubt you could make something nice, but why don't you help me with an outfit instead?"

Melancholies

 

[Melancholies]

"You ask too many goddamn questions." The greenblood was scowling, but the disdain was obviously surface deep. "Ah though! An outfit, now that's a request. You know, first impressions are very important. Before you even open your mouth, someone is formulating an opinion of you... we need to make sure you look soft and approachable. Kind. I'm thinking fluffy." Muerte was making a picture frame with his thumb and index finger, his eye closed as his mechanical one adjusted itself like a camera lens.

"Obviously, we can't do anything about your neck. It might be good to try covering your other scars. Also unfortunate, but I doubt there's anything we can do about your sleazy smile, so we'll have to do some adjusting with your eyebrows to try and make it look less like your an a*****e and more like you're a kindhearted bellhop sort of man." He nodded, "I have little knowledge of the world of cosmetics, but we're going to give it a go."

Oh. Right, the outfit.

"Sweaters, you'll need a sweater too. You already like sweaters, so it'll work out find. You'll be rather fluffy then; we just need to get away from the stripes. Do you like argyle, Aprife?"


saedusk

 

[saedusk]

"Fluffy?" Aprife wasn't sure that was a word he'd ever heard to describe him before. Whether Muerte would be able to pull it off, well, he supposed it didn't matter all that much. As long as the good doctor was satisfied with his work, Aprife wouldn't argue it.

"Y'know, I'm gonna make some tea," he mentioned off-handedly. It was obvious they were going to be here for a while. They could both use it. "Really sounds like you've got your ideas down, but a little extra time to think never hurt, yeah? I'll be back before you know it."

The kitchen wasn't far, anyway, and Aprife was sure he'd hear Muerte calling if he really needed something. "Oh," he called back over his shoulder, "Argyle's pretty decent."

Then he was gone around the corner. While Muerte planned outfits, Aprife planned which cutely patterned mug he'd serve the greenblood's tea in tonight.

Melancholies

FIN AGAIN