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 Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 10:32 am
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Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 11:02 am
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There use to be a time when Lunar never felt alone. When he actually felt like he gave a damn about someone else other then himself, but that time had long since passed. He cared deeply for his family and his honor. Now he didn't know what to do with himself. He left his family behind him deep in the woods a long long time ago and after being reunited with them, he wasn't so sure he wanted to stick around yet again. His son Gabriel was a piece of work and he blamed himself for that. He came back to find that he had grandchildren that his son didn't give a damn about. He put him right in his place on that subject and made sure that he called off this unnecessary feud with Zachariah. It was childish and stupid. He wanted to eventually get to know his other two grandchildren, but he had learned enough from Zach for the moment.
He had once believed in the power of family. He had believed that with family you didn't need anything else. After what he saw from his son, he knew now that he needed to be a part of their lives once more. As stressful as it was going to be for him, he needed to put his son in his place and make sure the entire family unit stuck together. He didn't have much time to live. He was getting older and there wasn't much time for him to leave an impression on his son. Daniella never needed the extra push because he was always very headstrong and could handle his own. Gabriel on the other hand always needed to be babied and you had to pay more attention to him then normal.
He felt as if he failed. He failed as a father. Even though it was only one child, he still felt like all hope was lost.
He let out a strangled sigh as he walked slowly through the snow covered forest. He was reaching the edge where it would break out to the plains. He was curious as to what was out there for him in the world. He would never leave his family again. He didn't have it in him and he needed to be there for the next batch of children Gabriel was bringing into the world. He needed to make a difference in their lives. So abandoning them was not as option.
He stepped out onto the open plain hearing the snow crunch under his hooves. It was bitter cold out. The snow wasn't melting and the animals were all snuggled up in their homes. He couldn't feel it. It was part of a warriors training to not feel anything that could impair the body or cripple it. Now even though he was an old man, he still had that training forever beaten into his body. He missed the battlefield. The smell of blood and the satisfaction he would get when he crushed someone under his hoof. It was one of the few joys he had in his life and he could only could maybe three at most. But that was a time that was long gone. A time that he could only remember as a fading memory.
He was one of the oldest in the herd. One of the oldest in his family's bloodline. He was proud of his heritage. It was worth protecting at all cost even though the time for him to father children was long gone. He fell out of love and left behind one of the most beautiful mares he had ever met. She was everything one could ever want in a mate and then one day he realized he didn't love her anymore. He remembered admitting his feelings to her on a hot summer's day, but he couldn't remember if it was true love or just infatuation. Either way, it was just another memory and she had long since forgiven him for it. Now he was too old to find another mate. He believed it impossible because at his age he had seen everything there is to see. There wasn't anything new or surprising.
Letting another sigh slip through his lips, he stopped thinking of the old times and decided to enjoy the present. He lifted his head up as much as he could to gave around the snow covered terrain. He was searching for some company, but finding some was proving to be a challenge.
Quote: A loooooooot of back filler from how he came to be. v-v |
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AstoriaFallen
AstoriaFallen
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Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 1:09 pm
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Having had grown up with a mother who's mate had up and left when he found out she was expecting had given him some rather odd expectations about how the world around them worked. He had been there through it all and had helped his mother get back to some resemblance of a functioning adult. He hadn't really known her before his dead beat father left but he did know that he was a looker, at least from what his mother had talked about.
Thankfully after a couple of years of being in the roll of a responsible adult he learned that all he could really count on was himself. His mother did the best she could but life threw her a curve ball. It wasn't too long after she was doing better that she met a wonderful male. He of course had been skeptical about the whole thing at first but then she got pregnant with his sister Astraea and he stuck around and did everything he could to help support his mother and their daughter. Astraeus was old enough to not really need a father figure but he accepted the male into his life, purely for the fact he was good to both his mother and his sister, to whom he had taken a very strong role of protecting. She was the center of his universe, and he wouldn't allow what happened to their mother to happen to her.
Now here he was, years later and she had gone missing at some point and he was on the search for her hoping that she'd turn up, unharmed and well. But he hadn't any luck yet but he was hoping in time it would change. Perhaps he could find a a lovely lady to occupy his time for a while at some point but he had all the time in the world to do that.
It was lightly snowing, nothing bad, but just enough you could watch each flake fall. His coloration allowed him to blend in quite well with the surroundings, which wasn't really something he had expected. As he walked through the deep drifts he caught the sight of someone not to far ahead and paused for a moment, watching him. He looked like he was in deep thought almost, at least his actions caused him to believe that. With a small shrug he decided to move forward and see what this male was about. He wondered if the male could see him well enough against the winter backdrop and as he got closer he cleared his throat just in case. "Hello." His voice was deep and calm and his gaze watched him curiously just in case things went south.
WC: 453
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Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 5:44 pm
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Sakura strained onwards, her breathing ragged with exertion. The urgency of her mission weighed down upon her, the dire need for answers to her life-long question burning a fire within that nothing could quell. It filled every ounce of her body, driving her forwards, unrelenting. Every breath she took. Every pace she clambered. Every movement of her exhausted body. She couldn't close her eyes for more than a moment without the restless urge to move, to press on, to keep going, overwhelming her. Her dreams were plagued with his face, his smell, his memory. Her father. She had to know what happened.
Not even her daughter's leaving her could snap her away from her purpose. It was a painful wound, her betrayal. It was fresh. Eya's face would dance before her eyes, guilt plaguing her. Sakura had driven away her own flesh and blood, a gift from the spirits for her. And yet already the pain was dulling. There was no time. No time to worry about her. No time to think about the past. No time to second guess herself. Time was a resource she had already squandered, spending all those years in her cave. Time was like a dark, suffocating wave, with every ebb and flow it took away a little more of her trail, a little more of her hope. There was no turning back now, it was a dire need, an obsession even. To run to her father. To confront his leaving. Time. It hung over her. Imminent. Omnipresent. Unrelenting.
Did she run to her future, to finally confront her past? Or did she run away, away from all the years of monotony, away from the pain of her daughter, her sons, her siblings? All had turned their backs on her. But there was no time to dwell on them now. Nothing was important about her life before, she had to press on. She had a purpose! Nothing. Nothing could stop her now. A fervent obsession to run and keep running until she reached her goal, that was all her life had become.
The faint rustle of a voice on a wind caught her ear. A voice ahead of her. Sakura steeled her muscles, pushing forward even faster. Others. They might know. They might have her answers. She didn't care that was she was bedraggled, her mane tousled and dirt splattering her legs. Time was pressing on her too tightly, and she couldn't stop to think. Not to think about what she really wanted, not to think about the pain she was fleeing from, not to think about her goal had twisted and warped her beyond recognition. She stumbled out in front of the two stallions, almost forgetting how to make her muscles stop. But she came to a reluctant halt. "Hello."
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Posted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 6:58 pm
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As the other said hello in return he began to see that he wasn't dealing with someone as young as him or younger. He looked well enough though, he gave the stallion that. "It's a little bit of both." He said with a small frown as he thought about how long his sister had been gone. He had other siblings of course, but Astraea was precious to him in a way that he couldn't exactly explain. He noticed the way the others eyes seemed and this was curious to him but he said nothing. He wasn't entirely worried the other would attack him, one just never knew with strangers.
The male confirmed his peaceful nature with a bit of an explanation and he gave a nod and a small chuckle. "Well, I doubt my skills as a fighter are THAT good anyway." He said humorously as he followed the stallion as he asked him to walk with him. He was pleased that he had been invited to walk with him, he could use the company himself. As he moved along side the spotted stallion he listened as he spoke. He hadn't thought he was shocked by his appearance, just as he wasn't shocked by Lunars. "It's nice to meet you Lunar, my name is Astraeus. I'm from an interesting lineage myself." He wasn't one to judge on looks either, it was all circumstantial to him.
"What brings you into this winter landscape this cool evening?" He asked him curiously. He figured it was as good of a conversational starter as any. He wasn't really sure how he would explain his looking for his sister who had been missing for a couple years. Let alone how she ended up missing in the first place. He wasn't even sure how to answer that. He gave a slight sigh and shifted his wings a little as the two continued along.
His gaze was averted to a rose colored mare who suddenly came into view and seemed a little out of breath. He watched her and was finding her demeanor a little curious. Something seemed slightly off about her, but not off in a bad way. "Hello." He said in return to her greeting. "Would you like to join us? Being it's alright with you." He said glancing over and Lunar. It seemed to him that the stallion now had two for company instead of one. "My name is Astraeus." He said with a small nod of his head as he introduced himself to her.
WC:421 |
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AstoriaFallen
AstoriaFallen
Crew
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 5:35 am
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The second she came to a halt she felt exhaustion weigh down her aching muscles. How long had she been ambling forwards, unrelenting, too afraid to stop for fear of what she might miss up ahead? Or was it what was behind her she was afraid of? Too scared to think about Rhode and Ebony, who’d spent their whole lives hating themselves until they had ran away from her; about Casper, who’d gone off to war against the kalona and never quite came back the same; about Blair, her own son, who had up and left her without nay a word of warning; about the kalona who had captured her, kept her locked up, until Maion had helped set her free; about Eya who had been too little to drag around on such a quest, but Sakura had given her no choice, until she had grown old enough to turn her back on her.
No, she had to look to the future. To finding resolution. All her problems stemmed from one fear – what if her father had left them? What if she had misjudged him? What if her whole life, spent waiting for him to come back at the cost of her own freedom, was a lie? Until she had an answer to that, there would be no peace within herself. No calm within the tumult that had finally grown too much, overwhelming her. At first it had been her family motivating her, or those she had considered her family, Hazalinia and ShadowBlade, who had picked up the pieces after her son had left, who had put her back together after the kalona had caught her. Who had loved her, unconditionally, even though they barely knew her. They had guided her to finding resolution, but now it was an obsession. This idea that confronting her shadows would lead to some magical cure for her life, that everything would be okay afterwards. It had to be true. Right? Sakura didn’t let the doubt sit in her mind, instantly dismissing it away into the dark void of nothingness.
But for the moment, the ache in her muscles weighed down more heavily than the urgent need to press onwards. Onwards and onwards, but to where? Her trail was years cold. She knew it was a long shot, but every stranger along the way, she had to ask. Had to question. Maybe they had seen the stallion on his journey all that time ago. Maybe they knew why he had never come home. And here, just for the moment, the stallions were offering her a moment of solace. A moment of hope, that they might know what had happened, a moment of respite that she might rest her legs, a moment of sanity to try and clear her head of the restless despair that drove her onwards these days.
She bowed her head respectfully to both stallions, her eyes catching sight of her mud-splattered legs, and for a brief second the madness was broken. What was she doing? What good did bringing herself to this state achieve? Rest, she had to rest. At least for a while. Rest and talk with someone other than her mind, than her frantic, obsessive thoughts she hadn’t managed to come to terms with. “If you would accept me into your company, I would be most grateful.” She rustled her wings, shaking out some of the strain her body felt, and setting them back to rest in a more relaxed position. Her tail raised itself to wave at them, a secondary greeting in a way. “Please excuse my appearance, I have been… travelling for a while. My name is Sakura.”
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AstoriaFallen
AstoriaFallen
Crew
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 9:58 am
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"I'm not sure if you'll be able to help me...." He said with a sad tone to his voice. He didn't want it to affect how this conversation with this male was going to go so he left it at that and listened with a semi amused smile at Lunars words. He made himself sound so old, he actually wondered how old Lunar was at that moment but he wasn't going to ask. "I've seen my fair share of mixes, but not nearly enough as you have I'm sure." He was rather glad he hadn't met some kinds, he had only heard stories of what purewalkers could do to someone.
He gave a small shake of his head, oh family drama was definitely something he knew a little bit about, but not so much in the recent years. "I can relate to that." The amusement wasn't meant to be rude, but to imply he understood how families could be sometimes. He took in a deep breath and looked at the sky for a moment and then looked over at Lunar. He wasn't wrong. "You have some good senses about you." Listening to the sound of the snow crunch beneath their hooves seemed melodic to him. "I'm searching for my sister." He really didn't know where she was or if she was okay but he didn't want to think about things like that.
"It's nice to meet you Sakura, and I agree with Lunar, we should try and find a place to shield ourselves from the cold." He didn't ask anything else of the mare because Lunar had already cut to the chase for the most part. "Don't worry, you look well for having been traveling a while." He gave her a smile in the hopes of making her feel a little more secure about herself. She did seem tired, but perhaps having more than herself to talk to would help her mood a little.
WC: 324
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Posted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 2:55 pm
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Hearing their voices was refreshing. How long had she been surrounded by only her own company? Well, she’d been entirely alone since Eya had departed, of that Sakura was sure. But the days had seemed to blur by as she had continued without hesitation upon her journey. Time was so pressing, there had been only the next step. Was it days? Weeks? Moons? It unsettled her that she did not know. A faint lead had sent her in this direction, but beyond that she not where she went nor for how long she should be expected to keep going this way. That was all she had, faint leads. Blurred days.
Sakura could feel herself starting to relax, able to push away the restlessness momentarily. She had always enjoyed company, and it was easy to slip back into the shell of herself, to pretend she was still the talkative, jovial mare she had been before everything had happened. Her eyes traced over the strangers, analysing their features. The one named Lunar towered over herself, even though Sakura was no short Soquili. He had an imposing presence, though she couldn’t pin down if that was simply a consequence of his impressive height or a deeper feature of himself, but he seemed amiable enough. Maybe he was concerned, even? Or at the very least curious about her own state.
Her eyes flickered back over to Astraeus. The familiar four wings nestled upon his back brought her a sense of peace. She herself had only met two angeni in her life, but both had been incredibly kind souls. Rumours had it that they were incapable of evil, and she was keen to believe it was true. There had been Kaiya, an interesting mare who had aided Sakura through her pregnancy all that time ago, and then Maion who had literally saved her life, breaking her free of the cage the kalona had placed her into. She felt a deep fondness for them, and seeing the wings set her instantly at ease. Like she was already amongst friends, though she barely knew the strangers.
She bent her head in a gracious acknowledgement of his compliment, a faint smile ghosting over her lips, before turning her gaze back to Lunar to answer his questions. “Shelter would mean a welcome respite from the oncoming cold, yes, that sounds wonderful.” She moved forwards with them, content to ignore the aching tiredness that had crept into her muscles. The air had not dropped to its coldest yet, but it was chilly enough to gnaw away at her strength reserves, and she could acknowledge that perhaps a break wouldn’t be the worst of ideas, especially amongst company.
Sakura mulled his next query over. It was always hard to figure out where to start, to explain what she was doing. Most didn’t want to hear her entire life story, and she was always afraid the short version wouldn’t make much sense. “I’m questing.” The two seemed to be familiar with travelling themselves, maybe they would understand why she was putting herself through this. She decided to try it. “For my father. He went missing, years ago now. But I have to find out what happened, why he never returned. So I’m out doing just that.”
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AstoriaFallen
AstoriaFallen
Crew
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Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2016 9:04 am
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His icy gaze turned towards Sakura as she seemed to finally make herself a little more comfortable around them. He watched as her eyes settled upon his wings momentarily and that was probably when he saw her ease the most. This brought many things to his mind, but he wasn't going to ask her any questions, at least not right now. They had other priorities. He was pleased she agreed to Lunar's suggestion about finding shelter. He continued to scan for a cave or even perhaps a thick grove of threes the three of them could find comfort in, but so far there was nothing yet. If worst came to worst the three could just lay together with Sakura in the middle and he could use his wings the best he could to cover their bodies from the snow. He had some size on him, so it wouldn't be too difficult to do.
When she said she was question his attention turned back to her and then as she continued he could feel her worry as his own, if that's what she was feeling about it. That's what he felt, worry for his sister. It was odd that the two would both be out here, searching for family. "I'm sorry to hear about your father's disappearance," He stated warmly to her, "I too am questing for my sister. She went missing a couple years back and no one has seemed to know what might have happened to her." He said with a hint of sadness in his tone for a moment. "I pray that you find him alive and well." He told her with honesty in his voice, he'd had for her to find out otherwise about him. He was saying it for his sake too because he wanted her to be safe, wanted her to be alright.
He glanced over towards lunar, since the talk of family had now come up. "Do you have any Family Lunar?" He asked the stallion almost cautiously. He understood if he didn't want to talk about any of it, each had their choice. He was just curious since so far two of the three were out here because of their family.
The chill of the dropping temperature made him shiver momentarily but her brushed it aside and motioned for the mare to come in closer. At least this way they'd be sharing body heat with one another. It was a rather smart thing to do, at least in his mind. He never had to subject himself to such weather before, at least not like this kind. And when he did he had somewhere he could immediately go. This was quite different. His attention went back to scanning the area in hopes that something came up soon.
WC: 463
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2016 12:43 pm
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A cold chill had begun to creep in through the air as the temperature began to drop. Though there was snow upon the ground, the day had been bright enough that the cold had never permeated her thick fur. But now the sun was long gone, and the ground beneath her had chilled fast. Now even as she stood she could feel it draining the heat out of her, sucking it down into its own icy depths. A slow shiver worked its way up through her legs, tickling its way along her spine as the cold began to catch up with her. Shelter really wasn’t such a bad idea, she realised. So absorbed in her task had she been that she hadn’t even realised how the weather had changed, and It was with a cold dread that she realised she might well have frozen if she’d continued to plough on so stubbornly.
She inhaled deeply, the air in front of her face misting as her warm breath met the cool air, swirling into an intricate pattern before her. She gave herself a gentle shake, working each muscle to try and keep as much warmth in them as possible for the mean time. Going stiff and numb wouldn’t help her in the least. Her eyes began to dart around, searching for any potential shelters around them as they walked onwards, though her main attention remained focused on the conversation flickering between the three.
She dipped her head with a glad acceptance of Astraeus’ condolences. He seemed genuinely caring, and that filled her with a warm joy that seemed to push the chill out of her bones. But then his voice grew sad as he told her about his own sister, and Sakura’s heart began to throb with a familiar worry. It was hard, not knowing. Constantly fearing to believe the worst, and yet unable to think of any scenario where everything could end well, and that faint blip of hope that was always there, but never spoken – what if he was alive? She gently stretched out a wing to press against his flank for a brief moment, a wordless sign of understanding. Of compassion. She didn’t wish this feeling upon anyone. “It is a similar story for me. He… disappeared when my siblings and I were but foals. Our mother passed away from illness, and well, seven foals was a big challenge. He had intended to get help from his birth herd, as I recall, and promised to return within a day. Three of us were very young you see, and wouldn’t have been able to make the journey easily, so he went alone. And yet, years later, he still hasn’t returned. Not a trace. He was a good dad; I can’t believe he would have willingly abandoned us. I pray… I pray this can all be explained, why he left us, and I pray he is still alive and well to tell me it.”
It hurt to talk about it, to voice her worst fears, but it felt necessary. After all, it was the whole purpose of her quest – to find out, to get her answers. She had to talk about it. “I hope most fervently that your sister is alive and well, and that you find her swiftly.” She swivelled her ears towards Lunar, interested in hearing what he had to say.
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2016 4:46 pm
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This was calming and definitely was something he was happy he decided to do. Taking a walk on this very day seemed to pay off. He had met two strangers that made him remember a time when he loved having conversations with others and just feeling like he was needed for whatever reason. He looked to the male then to the mare listening to them speak making sure he didn’t miss anything as he listened attentively to them. He felt the need to help in whatever way he could especially since it seemed like the two of them were having the same kind of dilemma at the moment. He knew what it felt like to be lost or to not be sure where someone was that you were searching for. He had recently suffered the same affliction when he went looking for his son Gabriel. He eventually found him, but it took a very long time and it was something he was never going to get back.
However right now they needed to find shelter at least for the moment until they could figure out what they were doing. He was willing to help once he knew the details of the matter. “Ah so the both of you are searching for something. I know what that feels like very well. I have been looking for my son for years and finally have found him. It was no easy task. The key is never giving up hope.” He said to them both as he continued onward knowing of a small alcove big enough to fit the three of them. “Just a little further and there should be something. At least it’s what I remember from my travels.” He nodded to the both of them making sure he wasn’t walking to fast for them. He was larger then them both so his strides were a lot bigger then what he would have liked.
“Family?” He let out a soft chuckle. He could talk about them for days. It wasn't because he was close to them all, but because there were so many of them. “Yes I have a lot of family actually. From what I have heard my family line has grown quite a lot in the past years. I myself have five children; three that seemed to have wandered off and two that I have recently found. And I am quite pleased because I found out that I am also a grandfather.” He liked that he was, but also he felt so old now just thinking about it. Especially when one of his grandchildren was trying for kids. It made him cringe slightly at the thought of being a great grandfather. “And soon I might become a great grandfather. I always believed that family should stick together no matter what. Of course there are circumstances that can change that. Like for instance, my ex-mate…we were very close, but we both fell out of love. So now we don’t even talk. It’s a tragedy, but anything can happen. One minute they can be there and the next they are gone from your life forever.” He said as he spotted the alcove he was searching for. He walked over as a smile crept on his muzzle.
“Now we should be warm for the time being..” He said to the both of them and honestly he wished there was something he could do for them both instead of listen to their stories. He came from a time of action and doing things. “I’m sorry to hear that you both are looking for loved ones and have yet to find them. I wish you luck in your travels and if you need any help…I mean I can’t do much, but I can certainly try. It’s in my family’s blood to help lost souls search for their loved ones whether they are living or dead. So this would be no exception.” He nodded as he felt a little bit of warmth creep into his body.
Hearing Sakura’s story reminded him of his own past. He was a great father, maybe a little too strict, but his children loved him. Then one day he vanished from their lives making them believe he was dead. “I have a similar story..” He said turning his attention to Sakura and letting out a small sigh. “Of course I don’t know what happened with your father or why he would do such a thing, but I did something similar. I was a great father to my children. I was a bit harsh when it came to training, since it was for their survival and I was especially harder on my daughter, but they loved me. They looked up to me and luckily they still do, or at least the two I have found still do. I left them without an explanation and made them believe I was dead. After I broke it off with my previous mate…I was lost..completely lost. So as a result, I left my family, everyone and everything. It was selfish of me and I know that now, but it was something I had to do.” He said looking between the two of them.
“I really hope you find your father and I hope you find your sister. There is nothing worse then being disconnected from family.” He said giving a small nod. “Now I feel all old.” He chuckled softly.
(( If I missed something I'm sorry. v-v Dealing with a migraine, but I had to get this out. ))
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Posted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 4:39 pm
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"Thank you Sakura, and I pray that you find your father alive, well and with a good explanation." He said to her as he could only imagine what that must feel like. After his words to her he remained silent and began to listen as Lunar had his own tales to share as well. So it would seem to him that they all had something in common. Well, minus Lunar who seemed to have done the leaving and then the finding. He could understand that though, why he had done what he had. He hadn't found the love of his life yet and wasn't sure he ever would. But perhaps one day he would and he hoped that it wouldn't come to something like that. It would have to be the worst thing ever. So he didn't remark on the situation much when it came to that part of his story. But at least his family had grown, even if he wasn't aware of it while he was gone.
"That's got to be some awesome news. To find out your a grandfather, and quite possibly a soon to be a great-grandfather." He could only imagine what that must feel like. The stallion looked aged, but not that old. He kept a steady eye out for the area the large stallion was leading them too, but didn't make it too much of a habit as he was sure Lunar knew what it was he was searching for. Even if the two following him weren't exactly sure. He seemed like a pretty decent father. Being rough on them was necessary it had seemed and he could understand that. Though his father was a dead beat. At least his sisters father was the kind to provide. "At least you were there for your kids and your dad tried. My father left when he found out our mother was pregnant. Astraea's father is a good provider and does what he can for our mother and her. At least until Astraea disappeared. I never really hung around much. I kinda went and did my own thing. But once I caught wind she had kinda vanished? Well I decided to come back and see what I could do to help." He said rather randomly. They HAD been on the topic and he wasn't exactly sure why he had suddenly brought it up.
He gazed over at Lunar. "You seem like you'd of been a terrific father, even if you were tough on them. It's good that you were. And I'm pleased to hear that they appreciate you for it today. Or at least when it comes to the two you've found." He said with a small nod. The Alcove came into view and he gave him a small smile for the place did look cozy. He gazed at the stallion when he said he would help the best he could. "That is very kind of you to offer, and I pray that we are all able to find those we have been searching for." He said kindly looking between the two of them. His body was beginning to feel warmth seep back into it and he felt himself relaxing. He was quite pleased he had ventured into these two souls today. It appeared they had been fated to meet so to speak.
WC: 556
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AstoriaFallen
AstoriaFallen
Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2016 7:29 am
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"A grandfather?" A faint smile ghosted over Sakura's face, fond memories of motherhood drifting over her. "I feel like congratulations are in order. Having a family can be a beautiful thing." Oh how she missed her foals, the more she thought about it. Well, they certainly weren't foals now. Her sons were full grown way before she had found Eya, and now she too was off to find her own place in this world. But they were still her foals, even if they had grown. "For all I know, I could be a grandmother too..." A pang of pain sprung forth from her chest, radiating out, setting her stomach churning and all her hairs on end. "That would be quite the thing, wouldn't it? I've always dreamed of being a mother, a grandmother." She gave a sad chuckle, "A great-grandmother, even? Now I feel old."
She tilted her head, pensive for a moment. "I do not think I could be a great-grandmother yet, though. Thankfully. I would hope for the chance to meet my grandchildren first." But would her sons tell her? She had given them everything she could, raised them by herself, but finding out about their true parentage had broken their trust in her. They had left, turned their backs on her. She loved them no less, and yearned to be a part of their lives. Perhaps, with time, they would accept her back, they would understand her choices. All she could pray now was that they were happy, that they would find the happy lives that had always eluded her. Or maybe, maybe she had left them? Guilt flashed through her again as she considered where she was. Far from her family, alone, struggling through the world on a trail as cold as ice. But no, she couldn't think the words. She had to do this. The reasoning was obsessive, addictive. As it filled her mind she felt herself soothed, knowing that nothing was more important than her quest. Press onwards, always. Find the answer. Find her peace.
She shook the thoughts from her mind, closing her eyes in frustration for a moment. Now was not the time to think about it. For now she would rest, recuperate from the journey. "When they grow they will understand. Losing a mate is never easy, I have seen people break from far less. But you are around, you love your children. They will return, I hope. You sound like a good father, and you care deeply for them still. That's what matters. We all make mistakes, regret our decisions, but sometimes the choices we make don't matter so much as how we treat them afterwards."
She shifted her weight around from one foot to the other, stamping her hooves lightly to get some warmth back into her legs as she considered Astraeus' words. "She just disappeared, no one knows why?" That was concerning. "I am glad for her that she has a brother who cares so deeply. Let her be safe and your reunion swift."
((I am so so sorry for the delay! x.x))
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