[ prp ] heart with a gaping hole ( kostya & dawson )

[its me debz]

Kostya put his phone down, eyes downcast, and went up to watch for Dawson, standing outside the door down to the bunker, face impassive.

mefdigel

WE CAN DO THE THING NOW : D <33333

 

[medigel]

Dark eyed, tired, and in dire need of consolation that wasn't just in crumbs (Chris is back, Kostya never left, America's clone isn't homicidal), Dawson dragged himself out of the common room. After a quick pit stop to splash some cold water on his face, he made his way out and onward into town, wiping his face on his shirt as he walked. It was humid and hot, just like home; just as awful, just as drowning. Smile, Daws, smile. At least there aren't mosquitos.

And he was indeed looking like his usual buoyant self as he approached Kostya, even though the default expression couldn't hide sleepless nights and anxiety attacks. He forgot to bring a snack; it felt like common courtesy to.

"Sup, bruh," he greeted. "Been hidin' in yer prairie dog hole from the heat? Smart move."

lurks beneath

 

[its me debz]

Dawson was not the only one that was exhausted, and it showed in the sag of his shoulders. Kostya looked at the other hunter, attempting to discern the purpose of his visit. If he knew something, and what it might be. Paranoia on paranoia.

Kostya shrugged, and held the door open to the bunker.

"It is cooler," he agreed. "And quiet."

medigel

 

[medigel]

"Quiet sounds real nice right about now." Smile turning rueful, he ducked into the bunker. "How ya been, man? Sawry I didn' check on you earlier."

lurks beneath

 

[its me debz]

And it was cooler, to be sure. It wasn't a proper home-- very bare, save the library in the corner, because he knew that anyone could have it taken away at any moment. He really needed to get someone to sign for it as theirs, at least until he was a full hunter.

Other things just...kept taking priority.

Dawson got a raised brow at check on. "Vhy vould you check up on me?" he asked, curious. Kostya had always been a quiet presence, slipping under the radar of most. "Ve are not close."

medigel

 

[medigel]

"Pffhah, I check on erryone, man," Dawson said with a small chuckle. "Sure, we more like, uh....work buds, I guess, but you still cool people in my book. Plus with this business with Meri, well..."

Thus was his awkward segue into the topic at hand. He took his hat off and fanned himself, letting his head cool. "Figured s'only fair we talk about this."

lurks beneath

 

[its me debz]

"That vould be an appropriate term," Kostya conceded, diverting to thr fridge to fetch a bottle of water for himself, and one for Dawson, offering it to him.

"She have been lashing out. Is that not normal, considering?"

medigel

 

[medigel]

Thanking him, Dawson untwisted the cap and guzzled half of the bottle in one go, coughing when he pulled it away but satisfied. "'Course she was at first," he agreed, leaning back against a wall. "I ain' talkin' about that."

He wasn't good at subtlety, but he tried giving Kostya a Meaningful Look. Was the Russian in the know or not? "M'talkin' 'bout the fact tha' she don' even feel right anymore."

lurks beneath

 

[its me debz]

Kostya tilted his head at Dawson. He talked about America as if he knew her better than Kostya, and if it were the real America on Deus, it would be laughable. It still was, in a way, considering that it was Kostya's fault the clone existed to begin with.

He had passed up many meaningful looks in his life when it suited him-- the last one from Obadiah, even if it had blown up in his face-- and Kostya passed this one up, too. Dawson seemed kind but Kostya trusted no one, especially now.

"Of course she does not. Her life is upend. Ve must give her time to grieve."

medigel

 

[medigel]

No dice. Syn hissed in his ears as a warning from trying anything else, and he was God damn tired of it.

"I know," Dawson said mournfully. "Jesus, I didn' think they was in that bad a place, y'know? I didn't think, like...that he was suicidal." The word was whispered. "You visit her yet?"

lurks beneath

 

[its me debz]

"Love is not alvays enough."

It was a reminder that he was the catalyst for that, too. The timing-- right after she'd asked him for his side-- and what had followed right after, was...

He sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Suicidal?" Kostya peered at Dawson. "I am unsure. Ve did not get along much, once they start to date. It vas complicate." A gesture at the bunker as a whole. "I make to, ah. Give space? Also to make thing, for self. But I vanted to give them room to...be. Vithout intrusion."

A nod. "Yes, ve had a long talk. Not so much as others, though. Use to be like this." Kostya crossed his fingers. "I still love her very much, as friend only, but do not need to rely on as much in every day life. Truth be told, I do not see many people much, outside duty. So it go, da?"

medigel

 

[medigel]

"Hrm." Before Deus, he would have had a hard time believing love couldn't be enough. After all, romance was what he thought he had needed ever since puberty hit: something to complete him, someone to fill the hole, the other half.

But now he could look at Kostya somberly and nod, slowly accepting the reality in a way keeping it only in his head didn't allow. Odd how he had always thought they were a trio, like a rope and pulley system: America as the metal hook in the center, Taym and Kostya the different weights on either side tugged up and down, never meeting together but with the same reach to her. Maybe it had been easier to view them as a collective rather than as individuals because he was used to feeling like a fringe element. Kostya seemed sympathetic to the notion.

"We been talkin' a bit too," Dawson said. "DMs n' stuff." He bought himself time to think about what to say by taking another gulp of water. "Ya'll might not be s'close anymore, but she needs her people more than ever, y'know? So she don' feel alone." His mouth twisted. "Wish I could do more fer her, y'know? A friend hurts n' it's like," he thumped his fist against his chest, "ya hurt with 'em."

lurks beneath

 

[its me debz]

Kostya had a way of looking through people rather than at them, and it did him a favor, now, when he looked at Dawson and found himself adrift. Dawson had made it seem, a little, like he might know something-more, although he couldn't put a finger on what.

And still, he'd reached out to her. Cared for her, and as far as it seemed to Kostya, it was a genuine sort. Something to mull over, to be certain.

"It is true. She does." Just, perhaps, not this one. "I am glad she is keeping good company, apart from Lawrence." A storm crossed over Kostya's face, but it passed as soon as it set on. "I am afraid I do not understand the sentiment. Or, I guess to say, I do not feel it. But I do vant her to be...okay. I vant her to be more than okay. But sometimes, time is all ve have to give."

Kostya looked miserable at the prospect.

medigel

 

[medigel]

A shadow unassociated with that casted from his cap darkened Dawson's countenance at the mere mention of Lawrence's name. He chose not to say anything about it other than a wordless and low grunt. If the America clone said she had her pet tiger under control, he had no choice but to believe it.

"Time ********' sucks," he commented like it wasn't obvious. "Waitin' ********' sucks. I hope she rips his d**k off in a rage r' somethin'."

Rubbing at his face wearily, Dawson straightened from the wall. "You look like s**t, man." It was a silent offer to talk.

lurks beneath

 

[its me debz]

"Yes. On all counts."

Kostya sighed, gesturing at Dawson. "I am not alone. Ve have seen better days. I admit I do not sleep as vell knowing she is not next door."

medigel