[PRP] Constant Conversations (Luxara x Forera)

[quite uneventful]

now you're standing in the kitchen, and you're pouring out my drink
well there's a very obvious difference, and it's that one of us can think




if there's a bump in the road yeah you'd fix it,
but for me I'll just run off the road
but tonight you've got me cornered, and I haven't got a place to go

Forera returns to Four Fronds and finds Luxara. In a moment of weakness, she confesses to everything. Relationships will never be the same again...

 

[quite uneventful]

The purple of the trees in Four Fronds made her nervous to approach the forest at first, but Forera needed to see if she could find her hand-- mostly due to a personal, anxious feeling. Normally she wouldn't give a s**t, but just the thought of someone walking around with it in their pocket... Forera gagged a little and wrinkled her nose, adjusting her clothes, thankful for the mass of hair that covered her scarred shoulders.. If she angled it just right, she'd even look like she had two hands. She pushed her hair away from her face, trying to remember where it was she had been, but... It was all blurry. All of it looked the same. Her memory was foggy and dim. She only remembered a lake... A lake? No, wait, the lake. Maybe if she walked around its perimeter?

As she shuffled away from the trees and closer to the lake's edge, the teenager bit her lip, fiddling with the weapon in her pocket. Forera didn't expect to use it, but... A rustle in the forest made her hand tighten around it, teeth clenching, body tensing. Her steps grew a little faster. One never knew what was in store. It was startling, to feel so... Different while living in her own skin. Nothing was as fun as it was in the past... The trees didn't look like jungle gyms, and the falling leaves didn't look like purple rain. With half lidded eyes, the tealblood stopped in front of the lake and sighed, sitting down and tugging her boots off. Dipping her feet into the water, breath held, the girl let out a shaky sigh and looked around, a little nervous. Anxious. Was someone watching her? These woods... Clenching her teeth, she swallowed hard before looking to the water and closing her eyes, the quiet screaming in her ears... She normally had Serpentmom's hissing to calm her, but, but... Serpentmom wasn't there.

No one was. Hell, Forera didn't even have her ******** brother for comfort, being captured and s**t. She was with Vulpin, because... He had no one, too. Sly had been taken in the same day... And they couldn't just drop one another. They'd been through a lot... Managing to relax somewhat as she thought of her companions, Forera began the move her feet slightly, mind wandering, body sagging into the path of grass she sat in. She was so tired...

Gl!tch~

 

[Gl!tch~]

Healing. She had to heal. Or, she was. Maybe. It was hard to tell. Some nights Luxara felt like she was getting better. They were good nights, where she could feel the moonglow and the forest had color. She was in tune with everything.

But others...not so much. Not so much at all. There were the nightmares. The invasive thoughts. The guilt. Self-doubt. So much of the last two. She had made a lot of bad choices, and others she still wasn't sure about. Ganyma's face in OHC, his face after the fight with Kursha. During it. The blood. Kursha's expression seeing her holding Ganyma's hand. The gun in her face. Crying with Forera in Old Hemisect. The thoughts that passed her thinkpan while Kursha was first knocked out cold. The knots in her stomach thinking about him at all ever. She had hurt people, gotten other people hurt, and didn't know how to reconcile that. Stagdad wasn't of any help, either. When he was around, anyways.

No, no, she shouldn't blame him too much. He was...there, sometimes. He always seemed to know when she was crying, and she'd hear him rubbing his antlers on her hive. Every time, really. So that had to count for something. But she did wish he would just say something after she'd vent to him. Maybe he just...didn't know what to do in these situations. He was a hunter, a damned good one, but feelings? Feelings had always been hard.

It would be nice if she could just talk to someone who could tell her what to do or how to handle any of the messes she had gotten herself into, but it didn't work like that. That fact hurt, too, for some reason.

Luxara wasn't hunting this night. She probably should have been, but she wasn't up to it. She was too busy thinking again but also trying to drown those thoughts out with nothingness. She was sitting in one of the trees, just looking up at the open sky over the lake.
Stargazing didn't change, even after everything else. It was peaceful. A relaxing stillness, despite the fact that she had a crossbow slung over her shoulder. She was ready for any bad surprises that could always swoop up or down or whatever direction.

She couldn't sit up there forever, though. Luxara looked down from the canopy, to the lake beyond, slowly contemplating her next move. That train of thought didn't get to chug for long, though, since she quickly noticed a form on the shoreline. Luxara's breath hitched. It couldn't- but it had to be?

She slid off the branch and hit the ground hard boots-first. "For!" Luxara called, rushing towards Forera, coat-tails flying behind her. She hadn't seen her friend in so, so long. Not since the raid on the base. So much had happened...Luxara had forgotten to keep up communication. Whoops. "What are you doing here? This is so weird, if I had known you were visiting I could've planned something-" Luxara stopped dead when she got a better look at the tealblood's features. Her eyes widened, mouth twitching in shock. A mix of emotions of concern but also awe. "Oh my god. Oh my god. What happened to your hand? For, what...what?" There were no other words, just mounting concern. The bestie had lost her hand.

quite uneventful-

BOOM

 

[quite uneventful]

The silence was quite literally making her crazier, so Forera prepared herself to leave— before hearing a distant voice call out... A nickname. Forera instantly stiffened as she tried to remember it, still on edge, turning around to look at the owner of the crunching footsteps, eyes a little wide. ********— "L-Luxara?!" Forera asked, startled and caught off guard. The tealblood didn't know she was here! Did she— live here? Oh s**t, s**t, why wasn't she mad at her?! Didn't she know— Oh, <********>. She still greeted her with a friendly face. She was probably... Still friends with Ganyma. Forera felt guilt pierce her chest and she crossed her arms around her abdomen, swallowing hard while her tooth dug into her bottom lip hard. "I just waaanted some, uh, quiet." She murmured softly, giving the other a sheepish half smile. "But the quiet's been like, reaaally loud." She didn't think Luxara would understand what she meant, but hey, it was worth a shot.

Watching the other react to her new battle scars, Forera released a hard, hoarse giggle she had held in her chest. She was bad at pretending, she realized that now. Except when I'm selling someone out. I seemed pretty convincing when I was being a b***h, She thought to herself, clearing her throat and looking at Luxara, studying her. They were both bigger now. The greenblood may not have grown much in height, similar to Forera, but she looked more mature. And... Had a new scar, near her eye. She pulled her wet legs up and wrapped her arms around them, glancing at her stump and tightening her jaw. She understood her surprise. Last they saw each other, Forera was just a kid. And now, she wasn't even seeing her while she was normal-- Her highlights were grown out, small horn broken, new scars on her back-- But at least now she had her piercings. "Heeyyy, don't worry about it. I'm like, alright now! It's moostly healed up and stuff." Forera honestly didn't want to talk about it, especially when it slightly concerned her too. More drama. "What happened to yooou? Looks like someone wanted to, like, blind you or something!"

Gl!tch~

 

[Gl!tch~]

She wasn't supposed to worry about it. A person, losing a whole hand. Trolls don't grow those back, Luxara knew that much. Teeth, yes. Limbs? Hell no. She couldn't even imagine how much pain and blood would be involved in something like that... Plus Forera's other injuries. This wasn't a small oops. This was a big, big oops. What had the tealblood been up to since the last time Luxara had seen her? What other messes were there to get into? Chittentown? Something had gone on there? Had Forera gotten involved in that, maybe? There had been a call for aid during the drought, or something? She had heard rumors that the situation got messy. Maybe the bestie had gotten sucked into that...but Luxara thought they both knew to stay out of royalist affairs after what happened in Old Hemisect.

Luxara blinked and came out of her thoughts when Forera asked after the greenblood's injury. Her hand immediately went up to her face, a gentle touch on the scar tissue. Luxara let her gaze drift to the ground. "Oh...this? It...it was an accident. It's...complicated. Just...never mind, it doesn't matter." She busied herself with taking off her coat, letting it fall, then sitting on it like a picnic blanket next to Forera. "Seriously though, what the hell happened to you, For? It's like you got caught in some spikey machine then it spat you back out. Are you okay, because none of that looks like it. And there's? Metal stuff sticking out of you?" Luxara was a forest child, with little to no knowledge about piercings. She hadn't seen anyone with any before. "Please tell me they're not some kinda shrapnel wounds."

quite uneventful

 

[quite uneventful]

Hearing her friends response, the tealblood pushed her hair away from her face and watched as she tugged off her jacket and sat on it. Her questions only gave Forera serious giggles, wiggling her eyebrows at her and lifting her hands— Spooooky. "I am the ghoooossstt of Forerraaa Serrpeenn... She is DEAAAAD at the bottom of a glasss pittt... OooooOOOoooh!" She managed a giggle at the end, reaching up and sliding her lip ring off carefully. "These are like, called pieeercings. They're suuper cool, and really, like, help me." She murmured the last part— the seemingly permanent coldness of the metal objects kept her almost sane when she felt bad— She didn't know why or how. It just calmed her? Turning her head to look at the still waters of the lake, her eyes dimmed a little, carefully sliding the piercing back in.

After a period of silence she squeezed her own arm and exhaled, looking at the stump again and fiddling with the lip ring. "I really, really She said under her breath, remembering the entire thing a little too vividly and reaching down, burrowing her hand into the soil and squeezing it as it slid between her fingers and dug into her nails. "I can't fix it, I can't say 'sorry'. They'll never forgive me. You won't either." She whispered the last part, laying more into herself and placing her head on her knee. With one last sigh, the tealblood closed her eyes. "I hate myself."

 

[Gl!tch~]

"Pffft. Aww jeez, For, don't do this to me. Between the glowy guy in the woods and a ghostly you, I'd wonder if I was losing it." Luxara shook her head. That was all she could get in before Forera continued, with the tealblood's words losing volume with every little thing that wasn't casual. The deterioration was startling, chilling even. Luxara had expected...something. Something bad, but her pump biscuit beat faster as she processed Forera's words. What could her bud possibly have done that could make Forera doubt that people would forgive her, especially Luxara herself?

"Whoa, whoa, hey. You're losing me here. Who's 'they'? And what makes you think I'd be unable to...?" Images flashed through Luxara's thinkpan. The pamphlets at the base in OHC. "You didn't report me like the royalist things said to for rebels or anything, did you? I don't know what else you could've done, and you wouldn't ever do that, right? Cuz I mean, why even...would you wanna do that?" Luxara shouldn't assume the worst, but Forera's attitude was so foreboding. Hell, she looked it, too. "A-anyway, I've dealt with some terrible s**t myself. From other people. Some really, really bad stuff, so maybe this...isn't as bad as you think? Let's talk this out, okay?"

quite uneventful

 

[quite uneventful]

"They is..." Her voice caught in her throat, and before Forera could finish, Luxara continued, startling her quite bad. Rebel? Sell out?! Wait— what? "L—Luxara..." Forera's voice trembled, face shifting to look at the other and feeling a slight kinship at her statement, light shining in her eyes. "I... I didn't even like, know you were a rebel. I'm one too." Her eyes lowered. "Kinda." Listening to Luxara continue, Forera's shoulders sunk, black eyes watery with teal tears. She had to tell her. They had both been close friends of Ganyma. Now only Luxara was. Why did she say that to the drones...?

"You're really underestimating how much s**t I get into, Luxara." She stated, actually serious this time. After a minute of going over her thoughts, summarizing what happened properly, Forera finally let out a sigh and wiped her tears. "The reason I say kinda is because, like... In the time I was a rebel, we were captured. By the, uh, army." She lowered her voice considerably, almost to a whisper. She wouldn't have it if someone other than Luxara heard. "Vulpin... Vulpin and I were kinda pulled to the side because we'd participated in this rehab program a while ago. We were offered a, like, lighter sentence if we told them that we were convinced by another to join." Her voice broke at the end of it, and her arms squeezed her knees. "I blamed Ganyma. I... Guess Vulpin did too, 'cause he was the only one that showed up." Her shoulders sunk, sin finally revealed to the world for everyone to see. She had no strength to whine about how it was their faults, no desire to push the blame away from her like she usually did. She knew her fault, and while it was hard accepting it, she managed to do so.

If she had to pick one regret throughout the entire thing, it'd have to be naming Ganyma. Mostly because the entire situation served as a reality check for her, a bigger one than the war and rehab center ever could've been. "Our "reduced punishment" was to participate in the forest hunting game. As prey. That's why I'm like this." She mentioned, referring to the scars, her horn, and her... Stump. "I think... We all made it out alive. He had this super power thing with his skin or something. I'd understand if he never wanted to speak to me again. I just wish I could apologize."

Gl!tch~

 

[Gl!tch~]

They were captured. Captured. For real. Landing in hot, hot s**t. Rebel activity wasn't fun and games, and people sometimes didn't just get hurt. There were very real consequences. There had to be, if they dragged Ganyma into it. Right? ...Right?

Forera betrayed her own friend. A close one, as far as Luxara knew. If Vulpin was a weasel, that was one thing. But For? Friends are supposed to trust each other. They're supposed to have reason to. Silent, listening, and then tight-lipped after, Luxara thought about her own priorities as emotions bloomed in her chest.

If she had been in a similar situation, if losing her hand and a horn was the easy way out compared to whatever else that could have happened, would she have sold someone out? Even if she lost both her hands? Worse? Death, even? She had centered her life around her friends. About being happy with them and because of them. Stagdad had never done that, not really. Or else why would she cling so much to the one trollian thing he ever gave her?

How could anyone ever turn on someone they cared for for their own sake? Luxara's world was full of kill or die. Unemotional. No attachment. It was either you or the other person. There were no choices. Forera had a choice. She pulled in a scapegoat. Someone who deserved so, so much better. Someone who forgave and assisted her when he had no obligation.

People kept throwing him in the fire, and for what? For what? Pettiness? Selfishness?

She realized she was angry. No, furious. It was a painful, hot rage that wanted to claw its way out and tear Forera apart, because how dare she.

But at the center of it, Luxara felt something else for a moment. It was cold, icy, resolute and observant.
If Forera could sell Ganyma out, what's stopping her from doing the same to me if she ever got cornered?

Regret was a sentiment Luxara could understand.
For now, the actions were too much for her to handle.

Luxara stood up. Her hands balled up, shaking, and without a word, she started to just...walk away.

quite uneventful

o-o/

 

[quite uneventful]

Forera didn't even have to look up to see Luxara leaving. She honestly didn't know why she even spoke in the first place. A dull pang of regret resounded throughout her body, it's shockwaves sending her reeling after Luxara stood up. While her pump biscuit felt low and empty, dark and dull, the girl couldn't argue or even begin to try and call her back. Luxara was angry. For the first time since they'd met, Luxara was truly angry, shown by her shaking hands and her abrupt departure. She shouldn't have trusted anyone from the start. It only got her and others into dumb s**t.

Instantly trying to think of reasons, excuses as to why she chose Ganyma bubbled in her head, to try and pin the blame on him, to keep a friend— But this was completely on her, so she bit her tongue. She just... Wondered one thing. "What happened to you?" She asked, voice small and barely audible— Luxara probably wouldn't tell her now, but it was, well, worth a shot.

Gl!tch~

 

[Gl!tch~]

She was ready to be gone. All Luxara wanted was to get away from all the bad turns sitting at her feet. The greenblood couldn't believe it. Almost everyone involved in this piss pit once sat together at an ice cream store, having a great time. And then what? How did life ******** everyone up so bad?

Why did this stuff have to keep happening to one of the few trolls who made her happy? And why did her other close friends have to cause this pain for him?

Forera piped up once more behind her. Luxara wheeled around, teeth clenched behind closed lips. Her feet barely held back from breaking out into a run so she could punch the tealblood in the mouth.

Instead, her hand went up to her face and brushed the scar there. It seemed everyone was obligated to hurt each other, even without meaning to. Even with the best intentions.

She looked away. Off and up at the trees. They were easier to look at right now. "Gan visited me one night, and it was gonna be great, y'know? I missed him. I hadn't seen anyone after what went down in OHC, and you're the only one I had any idea made it out of there okay."

Luxara swallowed. "Then Kur came." She took a shaky breath. Even now, it still hurt to think about. Even if Kursha seemed better after all that. "Kur had a beef with Gan. I should've had my crossbow, but I didn't. So I took one for the team to try to stop the fighting. Maybe it worked. I'm hoping it worked. Everything I did just to try to get to Kur after that..." she paused. Looked at Forera again. "Gan didn't deserve to be ambushed like that. Or have me used to goad him into a stupid fight. And he didn't deserve to have a friend sell him out for her own skin."

She stared, eyes glazed, at Forera's hand. Luxara's voice went so quiet, so pained, it was almost impossible to hear. "But you got farther with being a rebel than I ever did, didn't you? You were brave enough to at least get caught. I sold out without telling them anything. They didn't even know, in OHC, the s**t I had gotten up to with Gan. I should've...I should've at least switched back in time. Maybe it would've done something. Maybe none of this had to happen." But even going back further, maybe she should have been on the rebel side all along, and perhaps kept Kursha from being traumatized so bad to begin with. Regret. All she had left was regret.

As much as she wanted to scream, as much as she wanted to make Forera the bad guy, Luxara wasn't any less guilty of making some real bad decisions. "I have no clue why the hell anyone would turn on someone they care about, and that's super ******** up. But I know what it's like to make bad decisions when you're scared."

quite uneventful

 

[quite uneventful]

(warning, post is heavy and contains some hyperventilating!!)

She expected to be hit. She honestly expected either to be hit or ignored, but Luxara did neither of those and instead, answered her. Gan, huh. Forera felt her head lower more in shame, mouth pressed into a fine line as she retold the story of her scar. The pounding in her chest served as a timer, counting the seconds before Luxara would leave-- One, two, three. It was a silent thumping, reaching all the way to her sound orifices, shaky breaths falling from her body in baited breath as she listened to every word the greenblood said, not daring to look up. Kur-- Kursha? Of course, he'd done this. She'd known from day 1 that he was trouble, from the moment she met him on the royalist side. Then she stayed there, and he became a rebel, apparently. s**t must've gone down at some point. Forera felt physical pain at that final stab she'd voiced, and it took all of her willpower to not curl into herself more.

But then, her words changed.

Forera stayed as silent as a squeakbeast, eyes growing wider as she heard her words, instinctively looking toward Luxara in shock. She swallowed. You were brave enough to at least get caught. Her voice was caught in her throat, listening to her last words and turning her body toward her, eyes unbelieving. She simply stared at her for a second before fully turning her body, wiping her eye with the dirty hand and releasing a broken sob of half relief, half sorrow. "I-I-I--" She broke down into her own arms, body shaking weakly as she sobbed into her knees, taking small breaths as her body shook from her emotions. "I c-can't-- I d-don't--" She needed a minute to calm down, the dam of her emotions having broken the minute she said her words. "Idon'tknowhowtomakeupforit." She said fast, words unintelligible. "I w-wanted, I felt so b-bad, after it, I-I just don't kn-know what to do but li-like-- Like... I di-didn't want it t-to happen, I w-was so sc-scared Lux, s-so, s-so..." She was still shaking, remembering the moments approaching the hunt, the scratching of her nails on metal, of counting the moments to her death, the seconds to her end. She was hyperventilating now, unable to calm down, hiccuping and lost in her own thoughts, feeling trapped, TRAPPED, why was she trapped, why was she TRAPPED?!?

In a moment of panic she stabbed her sharp tooth into her lip, nails digging into her arm as she tried to calm herself down. "I-I'm sorry, I-I-I'm re-really s-sorry, L-Luxara, Lux," She was shuddering now, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to ignore the world. "I-I'm s-so sorry..." Though she'd heard her slight acceptance in her last sentence, the teen didn't know how to feel about it or deal with it. The last time she'd apologized, she'd been met with a violence, a thrown lamp. She didn't know how to feel now, if not remorse.

Gl!tch~

 

[Gl!tch~]

She 'felt bad'. Those words made Luxara bite her tongue at first, at how much of an understatement that would be to sell a friend out. But what snappy remark she could make died in her throat as Forera continued on. The greenblood found herself speechless, hollowed out, as she witnessed the spunky Forera melt down into a weeping mess. The terror, pure terror, of what he had gone through. What had the royalists done to her? Luxara had every reason to feel righteous rage, and this definitely didn't smother that out. She had seen too much, and empathized too much with Gan, who meant so much to her, but Forera...Forera needed comfort. She needed it from someone, and this was one of the worst places to be alone.

Luxara came over, and let her arms go around her friend. "Hey. Hey, shh. I'm here, okay? I'm here. It's over and it's gone and we're here, not there. You're safe."

If those events had broken Forera down completely, she was afraid to imagine what had happened to Ganyma. All she could do for now was mitigate her bff's damage, though, even though her own emotions were rocketing all over the place.

quite uneventful

Short but sweet!

 

[quite uneventful]

Her mind was scattered and wrecked, feeling the tears pour down her face, her nails, digging deeper every second, her teeth, digging into her bottom lip in agony. It was in this second that she felt her tooth go all the way, tealblood gushing from her lip, the staunch smell of blood overwhelming her senses. She could barely focus on the possibility of Luxara actually sounding like she'd give her a second chance, having believed from the start that she'd despise and detest her forever, afterward. But the arms that stretched around her and the voice that echoed in her sponge clots make her body relax, erratic breathing slowing steadily. She began to suck on her worried lip, her shaking body relaxing to more of a normal, light trembling. Forera stayed quiet some, eyes shut tight, mouth pursed. She listened.

"T-thank you." She murmured softly, voice small. She really was thankful, and after a few moments of silence and peace she dimly remembered when Forera'd done the same to her, sweeps ago, among the ruins of a battlefield. Her pump biscuit slowed. Maybe she was just returning the favor, but Forera was thankful. She exhaled, calming down. "Thank you a lot. I really needed that." She said, calmly, composed. When she wanted, she could sound smarter, intelligent, even. But she chose against it, so others would relax around her. Right now, she wanted to convey her utmost gratitude. She would've gone off the deep end if left alone.

Forera wiped a tear from her face, dragging it on her own shirt lightly. "And I'm sorry." She exhaled softly, looking weak and empty. "I'm going to try... Try to fix this. Fix me. H-have faith, okay...?" She only asked this. It may have been a lot to ask for, considering the way they'd both received their respective injuries, but... Forera was willing to prove it to her.

Gl!tch~