[PRP] How (Not) To Train Your Titus (Lou / Titus / Hel)

[Lucyal]

Hel was sitting on the reaper garden wall and squinting down at Lou. The way her brows were knitted indicated she was thinking, and trying to apply serious logic to something wasn't a strong point of the reaper's. She was trying though, oh Jack, was she trying. After a moment, she finally spoke up, looking dubious.

"I fail to see how calling you a cracker is insulting to your skin...unless calling you a cracker means you are flaky as well, in which case it is appropriate."

Sexy Cocaine

Inu-Mitsu

 

[Inu-Mitsu]

"I think its supposed to imply they are bland and tasteless." It was hard to say where the nightmare demon had come from but there he was to throw in his valuable opinion. Yup.  

[Sexy Cocaine]

Lou grinned at Hel's serious consideration of what was simply a classic skin-related insult.

"Bland and tasteless, huh? Like your love life?" Lou's brows waggled as he elbowed the nightmare demon. "You're the flakiest cracker in the packet, my dim-witted sharp-toothed compatriot."

The vampire's spiral eyes turned back towards Hel. "But I guess it's something like calling you people... You people. If you know what I'm saying."

Did she? Racism was a tricky wicket, it was.

Lucyal

Inu-MItsu

 

[Lucyal]

A grin lit up Hel's face as another helpful suggestion was put forth. "Ya! That is another great insult for being a cracker!" She cried, agreeing with Titus.

Hey wait.

Hel's head whipped around as she stared at the nightmare demon. She stared at him for a long moment before-- "TITUS!" She then leapt from the wall and tackled the demon. "It has been forever!" She exclaimed once Titus cushioned their fall to the ground. "Where have you been, you shut in!?"

Her head snapped back towards Lou though, and she was back to contemplating. "I think...your kind is way more insulting. That was heavily implied when we were at that town trying to track down that lady with you some Octobers ago!"

Sexy Cocaine

Inu-MItsu

 

[Inu-Mitsu]

In response to Lou's oh so thoughtful comment on his love life Titus decided to give him a witty retort in the form of a stern glare. Take that. Yeah.

"That's rich coming from someone that looks like a papercraft project gone wrong. Did your printer run out of in-ah!" He had heard Hel shout his name but hadn't responded in time to avoid the tackled. In a fit of flailing limbs the demon hit the dirt with the reaper neatly stacked on top of him keeping him pinned and fairly uncomfortable.

"Get....off me.." Titus managed to huff feeling a little bruised and slightly violated for his troubles. One day he was going to learn to tuck and roll.

Lucyal

Sexy Cocaine

 

[Sexy Cocaine]

Lou remained unphased by both Titus's appearance and Hel's overreaction to the nightmare demon's presence. He couldn't really say much, after all. There had been times where he disappeared, after all. "What was that? Printer ran out of what? I couldn't understand you over the sound of your pride shattering." The vampire called as if trying to speak over a loud noise.

"Oh yeah." His voice immediately changed back to normal when addressing Hel, rubbing his chin. "Ah. Good old fashioned racism. I suppose you're right, but I'm sure it's not the most insulting."

Inu-Mitsu

Lucyal

 

[Inu-Mitsu]

Lou was under the assumption that Titus had any pride left to shatter. It was good, Titus would let him think that.

With as much effort as he could muster Titus brought a hand around and placed it against Hel's face to aid in pushing her away. He wasn't sure what to make of the conversation. Track down a lady? Something to do with your kind? He did as well to put two and two together. "Are you stalking, fang bangers?" Yes, he was completely part of the conversation.

Lucyal

hey...hey you...OAO

Sexy Cocaine

 

[Lucyal]

Hel's automatic response to being pushed was to cling tighter, so cling tighter she did. What did she usually do when Titus did this? Oh, yes. Hel licked his palm, because the gloves he was wearing did leave a nice sliver of skin showing.

"Oh, we were, stalking! This was a few Octobers ago, Snaggletooth." Hel's voice was muffled by the hand in her face. "We went past digger, and found out why Lou was a vampire! We stalked another vampire for a bit...she was like...a...a mountain lion!" Hel exclaimed, and peeked at Titus between his fingers. "Yanno...preys on little boils!"

The real word was 'cougar'.

She then looked at Lou. "Well then...what do you think is the most insulting?" This was definitely the question of questions, she thought, to be asking Lou.

Inu-Mitsu

/licks

Sexy Cocaine

 

[Sexy Cocaine]

"Stalking? Oh, I stopped that months ago." Lou made a hand gesture to brush off the idea. "Now I'm the one being stalked." He let out a content sigh, taking a moment to look around to see if Amphi was dwelling somewhere in the shadows, sneaky little thing.

As Hel spoke, the vampire dug around in his back pocket. "Preys on little boils?" It took Lou only moments to connect the dots. "OH, a cougar! Yes, I can see that." It would explain a lot, at least if vampires inherited traits from their creators.

The boil stopped his digging as the reaper posed her question. What a fine question to ask such a depraved soul. "Hmmmm." Lou looked around absentmindedly as he searched his soul for the answer. "Perhaps that's a question best asked one's self. Why don't you search your soul for the answer the next time you're out in the fields picking cotton?" ZING.

Lou finally pulled his wallet out, flipping it open and taking out a picture. "Check it." He held it up for Titus to see. It was a picture of... A certain someone's ample chest. He leaned in and whispered, "I get to touch those sometimes."

Inu-Mitsu

Lucyal

 

[Inu-Mitsu]

"Really? Licking? Are you a scareling?" Titus looked absolutely disgusted but left his hand where it was trying to push her away. Unfortunately, it only made the reaper cling tighter. "You're soul herding kind is like the plague of Halloween you know that?" He hoped maybe an insult would get her to move.

He was trying to piece together what Hel was saying through his gloved hand but it made little sense. A mountain lion? When Lou amended it was a cougar it barely helped. Titus was apparently not on the up and up on the term for an older lady chasing younger men.

He started to mutter in French, something incoherent but likely unkind when he had a phone shoved in his face. There was a stunned silence for a moment as a faint hint of pink rose to his cheeks. Not that it helped having Hel cling to him with her....her...things all pressed up against him. "Get that out of my face, Leech."

Lucyal

Sexy Cocaine

 

[Lucyal]

Hel paused with her tongue pressed against Titus' palm to narrow her eyes at Lou. Did he just tell her to...go pick cotton...She narrowed her eyes mores. "Well you should not go swimming, you know why? Because crackers get soggy when wet--" But then he was showing something to Titus, and Hel wanted in, because she was nosy.

"I want to see!" She exclaimed, suddenly scrambling up Titus, and she wedged herself under Lou's arm and no doubt ended up smothering the nightmare demon's face underneath her with her bosom. Hel stared at the picture, and then whistled.

"Hot damn those are ni--" She let out a loud gasp and stared at Lou. "How dare you show off Amphi's chest on your phone! You are insulting her honor!" Exclaimed the reaper whose own shirt was a few buttons too undone and failed to remember that Amphi paraded around in a bikini top in public anyways.

Sexy Cocaine

Inu-Mitsu

 

[Sexy Cocaine]

Lou held up jazz hands with a mock look of surprise at Hel's comeback. "OOOOOH. Also I'm a corpse so that doesn't really help things but OOOOH." They were gonna need some aloe for all these burns.

The blush did not go unnoticed by Lou, as he was trying to discern whether Titus was visibly jealous or not. "Awwwwwwww, my widdle man is embawwassed. Wook at you wif your widdle bwushy cheeks." At least, while he could see them before Hel's tits engulfed his head. ********, didn't those horns hurt? "Haha, I hope you accidentally hit one of the pointy ends of those horns and your chest just slowly deflates." Because that would be hilarious.

When Hel accused Lou of insulting his ghoulfriend's honor, however, the boil gasped. "I am doing no such thing!" He held the phone up to his cheek, a falsely pained expression across his brow. "I am simply quite proud of her, and want to tell everybody about my lovely well-endowed ghoulfriend. Oh, and she has a good personality too." It was an afterthought, but he had still taken a moment to mention it!

Lucyal

Inu-Mitsu

 

[Inu-Mitsu]

Titus had been about ready to do one of two things. Either smack the phone out of Lou's hand if he could manage it or flip the boil off. As it stood Hel wasn't going to allow him either options. He panicked as she started to crawl her way up his torso to see what was on the phone and seemed to ignore the fact that her bosom was smothering his face.

His face quickly heated so that if it wasn't red before it certainly was now. In fact, a small trail of blood had started to ooze from his nose as he began to flail. Anything he said was muffled into Hel's chest as he struggled to breath. Sleep he did not need, food he did not need. Air was an entirely different matter. So far he deemed it fairly important to his existence.

Lucyal

Sexy Cocaine