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Reply L-O-V-E [[Lovers, Mush and All their Problems Belong in Here]]
I need to know what to do =/

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Highland Apparition

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 7:50 am
So obviously, there's this guy I like. He likes me too, and thinks of me as a good friend. We talk A LOT. (But only in school, NOT on phone) We stay in different sections. Whatever happens to him, he always comes and tells me during lunch.

THE MAIN PROBLEM:

A few of the people in my class noticed this and well, they started teasing a lot. This is driving him away, he gets annoyed very much. And well, he quickly says bye and leaves. But after him, I get the teasing. Not bullying, though. But they say things like we're a couple and asking if we're going out and stuff.

I try and resist them as much as I can, but lately this has been getting annoying. It annoys him too.

What should I do?  
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 12:15 am
Anyone?
emotion_smilies/icon_eyebrow.png  

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Yokies

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 1:44 am
If simple teasing is driving him away it doesn't sound like he's really mature enough to be in a relationship. I understand teasing isn't necessary and it is annoying, but it doesn't sound like something that should drive two people who like each other apart. Have you tried talking to him about it and the people who are doing the teasing? Do you understand exactly why it annoys him so much?
 
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 8:53 am
I agree with Yokies. In fact, I would be annoyed at someone who used teasing as a reason not to develop a closer relationship with me. You don't exactly know what he's thinking, though, so ask him.  

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Highland Apparition

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 9:36 am
Yokies Wrote:
If simple teasing is driving him away it doesn't sound like he's really mature enough to be in a relationship. I understand teasing isn't necessary and it is annoying, but it doesn't sound like something that should drive two people who like each other apart. Have you tried talking to him about it and the people who are doing the teasing? Do you understand exactly why it annoys him so much?


I do know that quite well in fact. He's not mature, less mature than me or you, but not childish. Yes and yes.
To the people who are doing the teasing, if I try and explain they'd either ignore and continue, take it the wrong way or try and wonder why I'm trying to talk to them so much about the topic. I really don't want anyone to know that I like him.

It annoys him because everyone knows that this kind of teasing will eventually lead to something worse. It's just that he feels awkward very much.
Being good friends and then suddenly being labelled "in love..ooooh!" doesn't appeal very much.  
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 9:39 am
Blind Blindness Wrote:
I agree with Yokies. In fact, I would be annoyed at someone who used teasing as a reason not to develop a closer relationship with me. You don't exactly know what he's thinking, though, so ask him.


I dont blame him. The people who tease are somewhat aggressive.  

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 9:54 am
Try talking with a counselor about it, maybe they can help you resolve this issue.  
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 2:20 pm
Highland Apparition Wrote:

That's just it though. The label isn't necessarily true and you two should know that. In the end, why does what these people think of you matter? Teasing hurts, and yes it can lead to worse things, but that doesn't mean it will and it doesn't mean he has to let it affect him. How much worse can people teasing about a relationship of all things get? Are they making fun of how you two look together? Are they saying things like you two shouldn't be together? Do they say it's stupid? (I ask so I can better understand) I agree with Blind, I wouldn't be very happy with someone who is using teasing as an excuse to not be closer. That may not be what he wants to do, but that's exactly what he is doing. The fact is you can blame him for how he reacts to things. I know teasing isn't a good thing, it can make things awkward, but there isn't much you can do if talking hasn't worked. I found these things out the hard way and I had to deal with it the best I could. Running away from the problem and more importantly you, isn't a good way to handle it. To me it seems like he's willing to risk losing you because these people are teasing him. There is only so much distance you're going to be able to take.

What I'm trying to say here is even if you guys never do get closer, you two are letting these people ruin what you already have. If he lets this keep bothering him, how much farther do you think he'll go until he eventually doesn't want to be around you anymore? Because from how it sounds he's probably going to keep cutting your conversations shorter and shorter until you guys don't have them at all.

(Take all of this with a grain of salt. I don't know how either of you truly feel about each other, but my advice is coming from my own experiences. I don't mean to sound harsh at all, or make you lose hope so please don't take it that way. I'm just being honest about how I see the situation from what you've said.)
 

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Highland Apparition

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:40 pm
Yokies Wrote:
Highland Apparition Wrote:

That's just it though. The label isn't necessarily true and you two should know that. In the end, why does what these people think of you matter? Teasing hurts, and yes it can lead to worse things, but that doesn't mean it will and it doesn't mean he has to let it affect him. How much worse can people teasing about a relationship of all things get? Are they making fun of how you two look together? Are they saying things like you two shouldn't be together? Do they say it's stupid? (I ask so I can better understand) I agree with Blind, I wouldn't be very happy with someone who is using teasing as an excuse to not be closer. That may not be what he wants to do, but that's exactly what he is doing. The fact is you can blame him for how he reacts to things. I know teasing isn't a good thing, it can make things awkward, but there isn't much you can do if talking hasn't worked. I found these things out the hard way and I had to deal with it the best I could. Running away from the problem and more importantly you, isn't a good way to handle it. To me it seems like he's willing to risk losing you because these people are teasing him. There is only so much distance you're going to be able to take.

What I'm trying to say here is even if you guys never do get closer, you two are letting these people ruin what you already have. If he lets this keep bothering him, how much farther do you think he'll go until he eventually doesn't want to be around you anymore? Because from how it sounds he's probably going to keep cutting your conversations shorter and shorter until you guys don't have them at all.

(Take all of this with a grain of salt. I don't know how either of you truly feel about each other, but my advice is coming from my own experiences. I don't mean to sound harsh at all, or make you lose hope so please don't take it that way. I'm just being honest about how I see the situation from what you've said.)


I know you did not mean it harshly. Thankyou.
No they dont say its stupid. In loud voices, they say "OHHH LOOK AT THIS. WOW, WE NEVER KNEW! BLESS YOU TWO! GET THEM MARRIED!" and stuff. It hurts and its irritating and mostly I just shove him to leave. He's not willing to lose me. He just now knows that too much interaction in front of them mean trouble.
And he is rather shy and lonesome.
And hmm. We're not in a relationship if you mean that. We are what you would call "close, warm friends".  
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:42 pm
Princess Zelda21 Wrote:
Try talking with a counselor about it, maybe they can help you resolve this issue.


Not possible in my country.  

Highland Apparition

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Princess Zelda21

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:49 pm
Highland Apparition Wrote:
Princess Zelda21 Wrote:
Try talking with a counselor about it, maybe they can help you resolve this issue.


Not possible in my country.

Well, why not try anyway? Or speak with some other trusted adult. Better than doing nothing about this issue.  
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:54 pm
Princess Zelda21 Wrote:
Highland Apparition Wrote:
Princess Zelda21 Wrote:
Try talking with a counselor about it, maybe they can help you resolve this issue.


Not possible in my country.

Well, why not try anyway? Or speak with some other trusted adult. Better than doing nothing about this issue.


I'm trying. And woah, no adult, thankyou.  

Highland Apparition

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 11:30 pm
Highland Apparition Wrote:

I know you did not mean it harshly. Thankyou.
No they dont say its stupid. In loud voices, they say "OHHH LOOK AT THIS. WOW, WE NEVER KNEW! BLESS YOU TWO! GET THEM MARRIED!" and stuff. It hurts and its irritating and mostly I just shove him to leave. He's not willing to lose me. He just now knows that too much interaction in front of them mean trouble.
And he is rather shy and lonesome.
And hmm. We're not in a relationship if you mean that. We are what you would call "close, warm friends".

I can see why he'd want to avoid a lot of interaction to get them to lay off, but it's still hurting you. Would you rather their teasing or less interaction? If you guys haven't started talking to each other through other means, it might be a good chance to, like on the computer or over the phone. Being forced away from a good friend is never good for a shy and lonesome person (yeah I got that you guys were close friends, I was just saying if you two let the teasing get to you that much, you could lose what you already have). I'm just afraid he'll keep pushing himself away because of the teasing. The distance might put a strain on your friendship and make it go cold.
 
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L-O-V-E [[Lovers, Mush and All their Problems Belong in Here]]

 
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