[Guide] Tools for Change

[zabazor]

Brilliantly done. I know no other way of saying this but bravo. I am very impressed. You have reacted to the five questions better than any other student in the past. It looks like you really were able to take from them what you need, and I hope you feel that as well.

As for feeling uncomfortable making goals I would like to point something out if you don't mind. You said "in the past, everyone's always set these horribly impossible goals for me." That is the beauty of setting your own goals, they can set you up for success. You know what you can do, so you make your goals around that. As long as you put time into them, you should be fine. And even if you fail to meat your goal, it can be a blessing. If you fail you now can revise the goal and set it again for the future. If you fail a goal you should feel proud about all of the dedication you put into it and all of the perseverance. Many goals have little successes along the way. Setting a goal to get $1,000,000 might get you $874,721, but is that really failure? You still got a ton of money!

I think you will warm up to the idea of goals in time. Just stick to your goals and see what happens. ^_^  

[Abbie913]

Name: Abbie913

1. Why do you want to join?
I want to join because I believe everyone has something they want to change or improve on and I am no different. I think that everyone has something to offer and you may be able to help me improve on somethings.

2. What are the "Problem Areas" of your life?
Some of my problem areas I would have to say are, spiritually because I am at the point that I am thinking I am maybe agnostic and I don't want to be. I want to believe in something but with the things I have gone through sometimes I don't know what to believe and I don't like that. Also I want to improve on my self esteem, the low self-esteem that I have is causing my problems in my every day life and I hate it. I attribute it to the fact that I want to loose weight but I am not 100% sure that will fix it.

3. Which aspect of self do you feel you lack most? Why? (Body/Mind/Spirit)
Spirit because like I said before I am not quite sure what to believe any more.

4. What do you hope to get out of this class?
I sort of hope that maybe I can get more of a spirituality out of this class. That maybe this class will help me find my belief again...

5. Any concerns/questions you have for me?
I have one question, though I am not trying to be rude I am just kind of wondering what kind of things you have been through or qualifications do you have to help us change out lives?  

[zabazor]

I have no real qualifications other than I have changed my own life with this process. I have a bipolar parent and a bipolar brother, which makes life fun. With my methods I learn to live a normal life aside from the constant blow ups, and I have learned the best methods that work for me. I have also read a few books on the matter, watched a few movies, and part of this is my core beliefs, or religion. So my qualifications would be life experience and a level head.

I don't claim to know everything. I am not even really sure how to go about explaining why you should have the slightest bit of faith that I am qualified. All I know is that I lead by example, meaning, I am following this guide/class too and I see results.

Take what you want from this class, and what really do you have to lose?

Aside from your question, I am very glad to see that you are joining my humble class. Welcome Abbie913.  

[Abbie913]

zabazor

I have no real qualifications other than I have changed my own life with this process. I have a bipolar parent and a bipolar brother, which makes life fun. With my methods I learn to live a normal life aside from the constant blow ups, and I have learned the best methods that work for me. I have also read a few books on the matter, watched a few movies, and part of this is my core beliefs, or religion. So my qualifications would be life experience and a level head.

I don't claim to know everything. I am not even really sure how to go about explaining why you should have the slightest bit of faith that I am qualified. All I know is that I lead by example, meaning, I am following this guide/class too and I see results.

Take what you want from this class, and what really do you have to lose?

Aside from your question, I am very glad to see that you are joining my humble class. Welcome Abbie913.

I just want you to know that I wasn't trying to be rude or anything because like a said I believe that everyone has something to offer and something to teach in this life. I was just wondering what your experiences were and what you have been through that can help people with change. I was just curious. I realize that none of us are certified or anything the teachers are just teaching what they know so I was just curious where you got you knowledge from, thats all smile  

[Abbie913]

Assignment 1 - Goal List

1. My first goal is more of a long term goal but I really want to become a child psychologist. I am in school right now working towards that so it is, for the most part, my main goal.

2. My next goal is to learn to love myself for who I am on the outside. The thing is that I really do love my self on the inside, I would not change my personality for the world but I just can't seem to accept who I am on the outside and that really brings me down. I would love to love myself inside and out.

3. My next goal I would have to say is find where I am spiritually. I can truly say I know who I am but where I belong spiritually ism sort of recently, kind of jumbled. I have gone through things and experienced things that are sending me the agnostic way and I don't want to go that way. I want to find what I truly believe in my heart and the spiritual path that is right for me.

4. Another goal of mine which goes along with loving myself on the outside is to lose weight. I don't want to lose weight to be skinny, I like my curves but after my mothers heart attack it is really starting to drill in me that a need to be healthier and that includes being at a healthy weight for my height.

5. The next goal would have to be to get over my fear of driving. I would really like to learn to drive and get my drivers license but I am so afraid of driving that I just can't do it.

6. My last goal is super personal but it is basically, that I want to get to a place in my life where I am stable enough to be married to the love of my life. We have been together for almost 4 years and I know that he is the only person I ever want to be with. We don't plan on getting married until we have a steady income and a place of our own. When we are at a place where we can support ourselves and that's what I want to work towards.  

[Abbie913]

Assignment 1.2- Goal Seeking Questions

1. I want to finish my schooling as a psychology major up to a PhD with an outstanding GPA and become a child psychologist. This includes being able to find an paid internship so that I may be able to work in the psychology field maybe at first being an elementary school psychologist and then going on to be a child psychologist in an highly respected firm.

2. I would say that my goal is measurable in the sense of grades credits. Meaning I could stay on top of my grades to make sure that everything goes as planned in a reasonable amount of time so that I can finish and get everything going and make sure I have all the credits I need to go where I want to go.

3. I would say that my goal is reachable seeing as there are many grants out there for people in poor families and also I have a couple grandparents willing to help me out with some of my college funds.

4. My goal is DEFINITELY relevant towards my purpose in life because it is my purpose in life to help children (as well as being a mother but that is a different goal for a much later time). I believe that children are our future and if given the chance can be molded into amazing people one day even if that requires some help from outside sources other than their parents.

5. I would like to complete this goal within 10 years or at least up to the internship part of the goal because I understand that becoming a psychologist in a highly respected firm can take a lot of time and experience.

Additional Questions

6. Yes I think that these questions helped me with my goal because it made me look deeper into it rather than just thinking "hey I want to be a child psychologist." It made me think about where I want to be in like 10 years and if I personally thought I could do it in that amount of time.

7. Yes, I would use these questions for future goals because I think it may help you more to complete the goal if you have more details and know exactly what you want and where you want to go.

8. It does make me slightly uncomfortable to set goals because it feels like your giving yourself a chance to fail while if you don't ever really make goals then you can really fail.  

[zabazor]

Abbie913: Wow, lots of things happening here...where to begin.

Let me start by saying I was not offended, just not prepared to answer your question before. If you though I was offended, it was merely me just being flustered, so don't worry about it.

As for your first assignment, I enjoyed reading through your goals. It seems like you know exactly where you want you life to go. I especially though goal number four was funny, because I am also terrified to get my license, and college is really hard with out a car. Aside from my comments I was very glad to see all of the time you put into the the assignment.

The second assignment had beautiful things happening in it. You worked through the questions beautifully and I think you really have a grasp on this whole setting goals concept. Your last question was a little negative, so I will ask you this. I think you got this idea, but I wasn't sure. If you set goals, you can fail. If you do not set goals, you have no chance to succeed. Look at goals as opportunities. If you fail, you can get back up, revise the goal, and set it again if you want to. The limits is mostly so that you can see results. Look at some of the comments I gave SwirlingDark on this same topic. You may find more comfort there.

All I can say is that you are doing a great job setting goals, even if you are a little scarred to do so.  

[Abbie913]

zabazor

Abbie913: Wow, lots of things happening here...where to begin.

Let me start by saying I was not offended, just not prepared to answer your question before. If you though I was offended, it was merely me just being flustered, so don't worry about it.

As for your first assignment, I enjoyed reading through your goals. It seems like you know exactly where you want you life to go. I especially though goal number four was funny, because I am also terrified to get my license, and college is really hard with out a car. Aside from my comments I was very glad to see all of the time you put into the the assignment.

The second assignment had beautiful things happening in it. You worked through the questions beautifully and I think you really have a grasp on this whole setting goals concept. Your last question was a little negative, so I will ask you this. I think you got this idea, but I wasn't sure. If you set goals, you can fail. If you do not set goals, you have no chance to succeed. Look at goals as opportunities. If you fail, you can get back up, revise the goal, and set it again if you want to. The limits is mostly so that you can see results. Look at some of the comments I gave SwirlingDark on this same topic. You may find more comfort there.

All I can say is that you are doing a great job setting goals, even if you are a little scarred to do so.

Well thank you and I have to say you give very wonderful and insightful feedback. I think I am excited for this class smile  

[SwirlingDark]

~Step by step, what did you do?
Well, I had to go to town today and I get very uncomfortable in town, so I used some visualisation to imagine me walking through town, head held high and comfortable in my surroundings. I tried some outloud affirmations, "Today is a good day" and the like and kept this up even on the bus in.

~Was it a success?
Not as much as I'd have hoped. I was still uncomfortable, but I wasn't as much of a mouse as I tend to be in town. It was easier to shake myself out of the bad moods that came every so often.

~Do you feel you need more practice to get good at it?
I think so. Positive visualisation can be tricky for me, so...

~Do you think you are ready for more complicated tasks?
I think I need a little more time with this one to master it forst. I like to master the thing I'm doing before I move on.

~Do you feel you need more information or clarity before you can successfully use the Law of Attraction?
I don't think so, I think it's just a case of practice.

~If you want more information, can you tell me what is confusing you?
I think I'm alright for information.

 

[Abbie913]

Assignment 2.1- Small Wish

-For this assignment I focused on getting a good grade on my up coming Abnormal Psychology test which was on this last Wednesday. What I consider a "good grade" is A's and B's and I get them often so I figured it counted as something simple enough. So what I did was while I was studying on Monday and Tuesday was take frequent breaks during my studying and visualized me getting the good grade and I would say to myself that I AM going to get the good grade. Then on the way to school on the day of the test I did the same thing. I concentrated on the grade that I wanted, visualized myself getting the grade, and told myself that I was going to get that grade. In my opinion it was mostly successful. I missed getting an A by one point so still a good grade but not and A.

-I am not sure I need more practice, to me its kind of like meditating and sending your vibes to a positive place. I already kind of believed in that before and had done it in the past though...it does seem sometimes that it relies more on chance then the universe but who really knows right?

-No don't think I need more clarity but maybe I could have visualized a little longer because often times I get restless when sitting just thinking for too long so I stop, so maybe I could get a little more discipline and try to concentrate a little longer.

-I think I could handle a more complicated task though maybe I should do a couple more simple tasks to make sure I have a handle on it.

-I am not so confused, I think I understand, I just need to practice and maybe have a little more faith.  

[SwirlingDark]

~What I though about the Vision Board.
I'd never really heard of a vision board before, so the idea intrigued me. I liked the idea, and could see the logic behind it.

~What my symbols are, and what they represent. (as many as you feel comfortable with)
There's a picture of a woman moving into a house, representing my desire for my own place. there's a picture of Catherine Zeta Jones, representing my desire to be a confident woman with curves - she really represents that for me. There's also a picture of students taking part in a beauty therapy course, which is what I want to do as soon as I can. There's a picture of a female athlete and some bathroom scales, representing my desire to lose weight and get fit. Finally, there's a picture of Bill & Ted (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure; Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey) to represent my desire for friends - the characters have this amazing friendship and stick together through thick and thin and that's what I'd love to have in my life.

~My Vision Board located ...
It's my desktop background, actually. I see a lot of it.

~I (will/will not) continue to use my Vision Board in the future, and this is why...
I want to, I want to give it a chance. I think it'll help me keep those goals at the forefront of my mind, compelling me to succeed.

 

[SwirlingDark]

My Act Now Task List

Task 1: __Apply for Beauty Therapy course__
Goal: __To get on the course I want__
Outcome: __Obtained chance for interview__
Check Here When Completed: [x]

I would do more, but I don't have any other goals that can be feasibly set and achieved within a week. My family and I are currently in the middle of moving house and I'm waiting on that being completed before I can actually do much else.  

[zabazor]

A Little Friendly Reminder: I appreciate it if you use the paper code to post your assignments. It makes it easier for me to read and it lets me know what assignment you are working on.

WOW, didn't realize this was getting posted on because there is a lot of spam keeping other threads up top. I apologize for taking so long.

I will answer the posts as best I can in order.

SwrlingDark:You small wish seemed like it was at least a little success, which is all we can hope for for the first time. I am very proud of you for taking this step head on, and really sticking to the method through thick and thin. Once you get a better hand on this concept, you will be able to use it better. Like you said, practice makes perfect, so don't give up. I know you will get better.

Abbie913: You sound like you have latched onto the right track. Faith is a big part of this, and if you believe that it is luck, then luck will be a factor. It helps to believe that it is the higher forces, but I can not change your faith. If I were to have seen you before this, I think I would have said you did this before. You seemed so dedicated to the visualization. Later on you will marry this concept with actions, which might be why you did not get the A you were hoping for, but it may not be. The B was still a good grade, so I think you are heading in the right direction.

SwirlingDark: Just finished reading your vision board post and I have to say that I am impressed. You seemed to have responded very well to the idea, and your intrigue can be seen in how flatteringly you talk about it. I love the use of people to represent different aspects of the future you. I think this will help you place yourself in the goals, and not just see the goals themselves. It truly is an amazing tool, and I love my vision board as well.

For your act now list, I am glad to see that you have completed what you put up. I would like to see that be repeated until you get the course. Maybe that should be your new goal. "Get up to 3 interviews for Beauty Therapy in the next month." That could be very helpful. I understand that moving is a big thing, and I understand why you have not added more to the list. I would like to see you add to this list later and maybe post it again, after it has grown. When you have time, I can't wait to see what you decide to do in order to accomplish your goals.


-Wow, that was a lot of work. Keep it up class. And SwirlingDark, it is nice to see a student push through the class so fast. What dedication.  

[SwirlingDark]

My Answers:

1. I would suggest that Jimmy talk to his teachers and perhaps seek out of school hours tuition with either a classmate that is good at the subject or an older student.

2. I would suggest that Linda take up some art classes, get a feel for different methods and techniques. Maybe start with something like a life-drawing class and move onto classes using different mediums.

3. I would suggest Mark first go and see the doctor to see if he can pe put on some medication while he makes some positive changes in his life. I would also suggest he try to spend more time with friends and family and spend more time outside, maybe pick up a few self-help books from the library.

4. I would suggest Mel spends time remembering all the things that make her Mel. Connect with old friends, go out and meet new ones. I would suggest that she take the time to grieve the loss of the relationship, but not wallow, and get back into dating when she is ready.

5. I would suggest Aron tries to be a little spontaneous. Go on an adventure holiday, or take up new things. He needs to expand his horizons and push his boundaries, doing things he's not necessarily comfortable doing.

6. I would suggest Christina go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, or perhaps get herself checked into a rehabilitation clinic. I would say she needs to talk to someone about why she drinks, explore the feelings behind the addiction and try to tackle the root of the problem.

7. I would suggest Carl take some time out from work, if he works, and spend some time thinking, meditating and praying. He needs to explore different ways of connecting with his faith, and maybe talk to someone who shares his faith to try and remember why he follows the religious path he does.

8. I would suggest that Malinda speak to her doctor about treatment options. As well as that, I'd suggest trying to get in touch with other cancer sufferers and sharing experiences with them.  

[Abbie913]

Assignment 2.2- Goal/Vision Board

~What I thought about the Vision Board.
I thought that the vision board was very fun to make. I like being creative so making a sort of collage of my goals and wants was very fun. I think that when I get the money I would like to make one for my room with the cork board and stuff where I can periodically just start putting things one my board that I would like to do some day.

~What my symbols are, and what they represent. (as many as you feel comfortable with)
I have a lot of different things on my board but I am completely comfortable with sharing what they mean. There are two pictures of some plus sized models one being Toccara Jones and the other being Crystal Renn. I have paired these pictures up with a healthy heart and some apples with a measuring tape. These pictures represent the fact that I love my curves and do not desire to be skinny but wanting to loose weight to be healthy. They are also paired with a quote of "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" and an "I love my curves" icon to reinforce this fact. Then I have some interlinked hearts, wedding rings, and a house these all representing love and the fact that I would like to be married to the one I love one day and have our own house and family. Then you can see some different countries, a world, and a plane flying over them, this shows my desire to want to travel to different parts of the world. Then you see a logo for a driving school and a purple Ford mustang to represent that I want to learn how to drive and that when I do my dream car would be a purple mustang. Lastly I have grouped together a giant A+, a Rorschach test, a picture with a key for the mind, a graduation cap and a couple other things all representing the fact that I want to make really good grades, I want to graduate, and I want to become a child psychologist.

~My Vision Board located ...
My vision board is located on my computer desktop

~I (will/will not) continue to use my Vision Board in the future, and this is why...
I would like to continue using the board in the future because I think it is a fun and creative way to put all your goals together in one place. Also by putting all your goals in one place it kind of give you this feeling that maybe they aren't as impossible as they seem smile

Vision Board