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Journal of ElfTech403

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[NPC] ElfTech403

PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 3:00 pm
Monday, November 14th, 2005, 2:51pm

They're coming after me. I know it. They already got to 013. The other elves say he was laid off but I think he had secretly sent a high frequency signal to the constellation of Scorpio and he transported himself to Betelgeuse with masterful aligning of his chakra.

I can feel my chakra aligning too. Maybe if I hang up more banana peels for the great Sun God I'll be able to send out a gamma beam of peace and get out.  
PostPosted: Mon Nov 14, 2005 5:08 pm
Monday, November 14th, 2005, 5:08pm

Today we had "Neo-Pizza" for food. One of the tomato slices on the pizza started talking to me in a mournful voice, telling me about how I had a XFE-4532 silicon wafer implanted in my foot. I was so appalled! This must be a sign from the stage-3 civilization on Betelgeuse.

I came up with a brilliant plan to remove the silicon wafer from my foot but I forgot about it. Sensing the paramount need for mitigation of this problem, I stared at the carpet for exactly 5603.33 seconds and an image of a Grand Squid came to form, and it told me to arrange the banana peels so that they faced East. That way, they would collect the cosmic alpha rays beaming in from the Steinn galaxy, deflect them at a perfect angle onto my foot and evaporate the nefarious silicon wafer.

I must be very careful about this, I might need to purloin more bananas from the pantry to execute this highly s3nsitive and sekr3tive operation. I don't think Mrs. Claus will be happy to know I have a tactical espionage silicon wafer installed in my locomotive appendage, as she has always been fastidious about meeting quotas. I must continue making toys as usual so that no suspicion is raised.  

[NPC] ElfTech403


[NPC] ElfTech403

PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 12:10 pm
Tuesday, November 14th, 2005, 12:10pm

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 12:24 pm
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005, 12:24pm

Elftech369 gave me bananas.

BANANAS!!!


_
//
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_
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( `. `-. _,.-:
`. `-._ __..--' ,-';/
`. `-. `-..___..---' _.--' ,'/
`. `. `-._ __..--' ,' /
`. `-_ ``--..'' _.-' ,'
`-_ `-.___ __,--' ,'
`-.__ `----""" __.-'
`--..____..--'


I was so elated I started running around in tight circles!  

[NPC] ElfTech403


[NPC] ElfTech403

PostPosted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 4:38 pm
Wednesday, November 16th, 2005, 4:38pm

This morning there was an accident in the warehouse. I couldn't sleep well last night, probably because of much pent up chakra percolating in my Solar Temple. When I finally awakened this morning, it was released into a mass of focal energy and thus caused the crate to spontaneously liberate itself from the crane. I convinced the crate to fall, much like how I convinced Rick Jagger to sing for the Rolling Pebbles many decades ago with my psionic astral energy!

I must be very careful with this sekret.  
PostPosted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 1:48 pm
Thursday, November 17th, 2005, 1:50pm

If one had, for discussion purposes, an infinite amount of money and a infinite years available, would it be possible for one to select only the smartest grunnies and keep breeding them generation after generation until you obtained some kind of rilly smrt grunny with opposable thumbs and a well developed frontal lobe that was capable of sentient thought, self realization and self introspection??  

[NPC] ElfTech403


[NPC] ElfTech403

PostPosted: Thu Nov 17, 2005 6:54 pm
Thursday, November 17, 2005 6:54 pm

There was once a great Sun God and he was sitting atop his silver chariot reciting the food pyramid when he saw the most beautiful Banana walk by. The Sun God immediately grew 1000 eyes all over his body, from scalp to toe to observe this beautiful sight, for it were not enough for only 2 eyes to observe the luminiscent pulchritude of the Banana.  
PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 12:17 am
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[NPC] ElfTech403


[NPC] ElfTech403

PostPosted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:46 pm
I think Legolass the Elf is really hawt. I heard he is into this thing called Scarientology. It talks about how an alien Xeanu Reeves is oppressing all our sekr3t powers. It sounds similar to what George tells me about the Sun God, maybe this is fate??  
PostPosted: Wed Nov 30, 2005 11:32 am
Mrs. Claus called me into her office. She says there was a security breach and an unknown outsider was recorded snooping through my journal!! She said it will be taken care of but I can't help but feel like I have to take matters into my own hands! What a serious transgression, this must be the positive ions of the MusaMusa reverting their spin according to Fermat's Little Theorem! The subspace of the inverted coordina-

ERROR 403: FORBIDDEN: We regret to inform you that the journal of ElfTech403 has been sealed due to a security compromise. Please do not attempt to contact her through this address any further. Thank you for your cooperation.

-S CORP
"Making Christmas..."
 

[NPC] ElfTech403

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S CORP

 
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